A/N: Um...
Ok I swear I'm not a bad person. Things just always seem to get hectic when I want/try to write 😭😭 so here is a life update for those who don't know.
In November my brother passed away and I had to deal with a lot of stuff and his funeral and then the holidays came around and it was a lot.
Well then on February 5th, 2023 (Lukey Newts' 30th Birthday) I had a little baby boy! So yeah I've had my hands full with not only 5 kids but 2 under 2. (Yes Evangeline is only 10 months older than Maddox. Don't judge lol. It definitely was NOT planned and took us COMPLETELY by surprise.)
Anyways life has not slowed down since the last update and I just could seem to get this chapter where I wanted it. That is until my bestie @TuesdayRosales helped me. She is a God send and really helped me figure out how I want this story to end. You can thank her for making this update happen because she has not stopped hounding me to write for weeks lol.
Anywho I'm gonna stop talking now so y'all can enjoy this update. It's short but I like where it ended and it's a filler chapter to get used to where we need to go in the story. So enjoy!
Also...I'm sorry lol.
~It had been two months since Marina's funeral and Penelope still wouldn't look at him. He respected her space for the first month, but now he was avoiding her just as much as she was him. He couldn't take it anymore, if he was being honest. He tried to understand her point of view but he just couldn't. How could she say she loved him and yet treat him so terribly? He understood she felt bad about what had happened to Marina, but to blame herself was absurd to him.
Colin was sad Marina had passed, of course. Feeling like he had a part in it, as well, but he knew deep down that Marina made her choices and she was the one responsible for them. He had learned long ago that bad things happen to good people no matter what and to sit around and blame yourself will only cause you more misery. Losing his father at such a young age had given him a firsthand look at how tragic life could be. If only Penelope could see things the way he did.
These thoughts ran rampant in his head as he sat down at the dining table for another lonely meal. He'd all but given up on trying to coax his wife out of her chambers. He couldn't even remember how long it had been since he saw her, let alone talked to her. That is, until he heard her coming down the stairs slowly.
Colin sat up straight and tried to will himself not to look at the entrance to the dining room but it was no use. The moment she walked through the doorway his breath caught in his throat. God how he missed her. He'd spent so many years not speaking to her on a regular basis but now it physically hurt him not to. He cleared his throat to speak.
"Would you like to join me?" Colin willed his voice to come out steady, but the truth was he was completely broken inside. Penelope hesitated for a moment before simply nodding her head once. She made her way to the table and sat down in the chair opposite him.
A footman appeared beside her with a platter of pastries which she helped herself to. Colin waited patiently as she placed food on her plate. Finally, when she was satisfied with what she had, she waved the footman away and began to nibble on a croissant. Colin cleared his throat again and Penelope raised her gaze to his, in response.
"How are you feeling?" Colin asked cautiously. He knew any wrong move on his part could result in her retreating back to her room. Penelope sighed as she returned her eyes to her plate.
"I'm fine," she mumbled quietly before taking another bite, this time of some eggs. Colin sighed in response. "Penelope, please. I'm trying here."
Penelope simply nodded. "I'm sorry," she mumbled quietly. She didn't know why she was acting like this, but she just couldn't snap out of it. The pain in her heart was too heavy.
"Actually, I'm not sorry," she spoke suddenly. Colin raised his eyebrow quizzically. "What, Colin? What do you want from me?" Penelope's voice began to rise. She was tired of the incessant questions. Colin laughed in disbelief.
"Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing, Penelope." He threw his fork down and pushed his chair away from the table. He turned to walk out of the room but stopped at the doorway. Colin took a deep breath and turned back to the stranger sitting at the table.
"I can't do this anymore, Penelope. This isn't a marriage anymore and I am not just gonna sit here and be a stranger to you. I just...can't." Colin spoke softly, completely broken-hearted. Penelope felt tears in her eyes.
"Are...are you giving me an ultimatum?" She asked pointedly. How dare he.
Colin shook his head. "No. An ultimatum is something that you have to choose. I've already chosen. I'll be leaving at the end of the week." And with his final words spoken he walked out of the room.
Penelope sat at the table in silence for far longer than she'd intended. A sick feeling arose in her stomach as Colin's words sank in. He was leaving. She'd been so scared of losing him and yet here she was, pushing him out the door. How could she have been so selfish? She wasn't the only one to be affected by Marina's death and yet she couldn't pull herself out of this dark hole.
Penelope couldn't get past blaming herself, no matter how hard she tried. The pain in her heart clouded everything else. Maybe it was best for Colin to leave for a while. Give her time and space to get through this. She just hoped he'd still be around when she was ready.
Colin paced the floor of his chambers. He'd spent the last week packing and preparing to leave back to London. He'd sent word to Anythony asking if he could stay with him, which the eldest Bridgerton of course agreed, albeit reluctantly. Colin was supposed to leave the following morning. Even though he knew this was for the best, he couldn't help but start to regret his decision.
Colin still couldn't believe he'd said what he'd had. Did he want to leave? Not at all. He wanted to stay more than anything, but he also couldn't see Penelope every day and pretend like they weren't married. Pretend she didn't exist like she so desperately wanted. He couldn't watch her destroy their marriage anymore. So, even though it killed him to do so, he decided it was time to leave before either of them grew to resent the other.
His heart was breaking as he instructed his valet to put his bags in the carriage, so they'd be ready to go first thing in the morning. It was a long trip back to London but he figured it would give him plenty of time to decide on where he would travel. Maybe he would go to Paris for a bit. Or perhaps another trip to Greece would do him some good. Wherever he decided to go, he knew it would be hard but staying here would be even harder.
By the time he'd finished preparing everything, it was late in the evening. He hadn't seen Penelope since their argument and he'd intended to stay in his chambers, but he was impossibly hungry and didn't want to ring for a servant. So, he decided to venture out of his room and head to the dining room.
As he made his way down the stairs, a flurry of thoughts swarmed his head of where he would go. He was heavily considering going back to Greece. He loved everything there and wouldn't mind exploring the beautiful country again. He was pulled from his thoughts though, when he entered the dining room and saw Penelope sitting at the table with tears in her eyes. Concern filled him as he walked to her side and knelt to the ground.
"Penelope? Are you alright?" he voiced softly. Penelope turned her gaze to his and shook her head no.
"Marina wrote me a letter," she said softly before returning her tear filled eyes to an envelope that sat on the table.
~
A/N: Oh no!! Colin is leaving and Pen gets a letter from Marina post humorous? Oh the DRAMA!! Oh the ANGST!! Don't worry I've already begun the next chapter so hopefully the next update won't take 6 months 💀💀Hope y'all enjoyed this lil update and I'm sorry for breaking your hearts more but it had to be done tbh.
As always, thank you for reading!!
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The Wallflower
Hayran KurguAfter a night of wonder under flowers and fireworks, Penelope Featherington thought she was on top of the world. Things seemed to go perfectly for once in her life. Until, her best friend discovers something she's been hiding for years. And to top i...