The Wallflower

*Virgins*

A/N: HERE WE GOOOOOOO!!!! Warning: this chapter is EXTREMELY EXPLICIT!! I'm talking basically written porn with like almost 0 plot so get ready!!! Me and my betas POURED over this chapter to get it just right so ENJOY!!! I will include a PG recap of what happens at the end for those who don't like super explicit smut.

(P.S. I've included a picture of Winterbourne Manor for y'all to see!)
~

Colin Bridgerton was an absolute wreck of nerves as the carriage jostled along the road towards their new home. He was a true master of masking his pressing anxieties for calmness and if he were with anybody else, that change might have been overlooked or dismissed.

Penelope, however, did see. She noticed the precise moment her husband became motionless, distant and cold. She wanted to ask, to make a hasty joke, to see him return to the man that had touched her just hours before- but she did not.

Fear slithered inside Penelope's heart, disturbing her thoughts. She knew he was regretting their marriage, choosing a bride so scorned with scandal, and now having to live with that hasty decision for the rest of his life.

She felt like her heart was breaking into a million pieces all the way to the estate. Her new home. She could hardly grasp the change - she, Penelope Featherington, was the now mistress of one of the most respected houses in the country, and she had married one of the most eligible bachelors society had to offer. A Bridgerton. And it was already falling apart.

She couldn't bring herself to ask him though, feeling like his confirmation might turn her into dust. Could she survive it? With soothing company from Violet and Eloise's friendship, she wagered she could. Of course, her heart would have a Colin Bridgerton mark through it, but she could carry on.

The carriage came to a stop and the door promptly opened before Penelope had time to look at her husband's tense form. John's hand appeared and she went into the mechanical motion of stepping outside, acquainting herself with all of the servants, bowing her head in what she hoped to be a graceful manner despite the sinking feeling following her like a cloud.

She gasped the first time she was addressed as Mrs. Bridgerton, caught off guard by the intensity of that title. Penelope felt Colin's presence at her back, commanding and rigidly controlled, but polite to all. Very different from his carefree and charming ways. This drove another stake into her heart as she realized just how upset he was.

After a few more introductions, Penelope declined a tour of the house and asked to have a bath prepared. It was still early, but she hardly had any inclination to see the grand beauty of their home. She didn't want to feel even more out of place. "Right away," a maid curtsied and dashed away diligently.

Another stepped closer to Penelope, gesturing her towards the grand staircase. "Let me show you to your room, Mrs. Bridgerton." the girl prompted respectfully.

Penelope followed, pulling the ribbons of her bonnet with shaky fingers. She felt claustrophobic even though the house was exorbitant and lush, filled with space and beauty. She suddenly wished to be back at Number 5, with its cramped rooms and loud spirits of the Bridgerton children, keeping her stimulated and pleasantly distracted.

Colin was talking with the estate manager, their faces serious and their talk rapid, but Penelope caught the moment he mentioned "my wife" into his speech. That little word felt like a dagger to her heart and it pieced her soul, making her knees wobble ever so lightly.

Two footmen opened a set of French  doors for her, their face a mask of polite efficacy, and she almost stepped on the hem of her traveling gown as she thanked them and entered the room. Her first thought was: You could throw a decent sized ball in here. The thought that followed squeezed her heart painfully: This is a woman's room.