Take My Heart, will you? (PHAXLAM) (BOYXBOY) (COMPLETED)

Lam

I couldn't be angry at Pha. He seemed so confused and I could tell. But being angry at him, ignoring him and avoiding him was something that I  hated too. But if I continued letting Pha be confused too, it wouldn't do both of us good.

I held onto him tight for a while but I finally let go.

"I like you Phana. I realized this sometime ago. But I know you are confused because of your heart and mind. I don't want you to be through this mental agony. So, as much as I like you, I am going to let go of my feelings for you. We should keep a distance for a bit till I settle my feelings. This gives you time too, to just focus on what your mind says. Logic wins any day anyways. Plus I am always going to be your friend, just that for now, we both need time apart to accept logic over emotions so that's its better for us in the long run. OK?"

He was quiet. I couldn't tell what was running throguh his mind. But he was a sensible boy. He will make the right decision. I bade him goodbye and left.

I went back to my dorm. Our schedules were vastly different so that played a good part in us not seeing each other. I was very busy and kept up with it.

Until I met Beam for lunch along with Forth one day, about several weeks after the beach trip. We were just causally chatting when Beam said he will drop by to visit Pha first before coming back. I queried on how Pha was. It was then I found out that Pha had been hospitalised for 2 weeks now.

"What?!!? Why didn't you tell me!?!?"

"But why do I have to? He didn't want me telling anyone. Only Kit and Forth know by proxy. He didn't want a big fuss created."

"He was hospitalised and you didn't see the need to tell me?! Are you even kidding me now?"

"Why? Cos you guys are friends? You guys aren't even that close remember. The last time I asked, you denied everything. And I have to respect my best friend's wishes. If he doesn't want people knowing, I'm not saying anything. Stop throwing your temper at me. Logically speaking you know I am making sense."

I glared at Beam who just stared right back at me. Forth told us both to knock it off.

"You know as much as Beam here, you care about that boy so much. Nothing you do or say will change that. But you don't want to be hurt too and I respect that. So that's what we are all doing. We are all making sure you don't get hurt. Let him be and you be you."

I know Forth made sense but knowing Pha wasn't doing OK tore at me. I really am so bad at this. I cannot do this.

"What happened? Please tell me Beam..." I begged softly. Beam sighed deeply and told me the whole story. Pha had been distracted for a while now. Hasn't been eating properly, resting propely, just mugging non stop. Prolonged fatigue led to him having a serious lab accident, where he accidentally injected himself instead of the frog test subject. He landed in the hospital for poisoning. Thankfully he was out of the woods but was put on complete bed rest coming for a week now.

"Let me go see him. Please." I caught Beam and Forth sharing looks. Finally Beam agreed and gave me the details.
Before I rushed off, Beam just said this;

"Pha may be silly when it comes to picking between his heart and mind. But I don't think he can deny that you are in both places, his heart and mind. Just be more patient with him Lam."

I nodded softly, said thank you and ran off. I went to the hospital and into his private room. There was no one but a sign that patient had gone for some tests. I decided to wait for him. Around an hour later, Pha was wheeled back into the room. He looked surprised when he saw me. The nurse queried over whom I was.

I looked firmly at Pha as I said, "I am his boyfriend, Miss. How is he doing now? I been away for studies thats why."

The nurse smiled at me and updated me. The whole time I kept my eyes on Pha who was just all flushed. We transferred him to the bed and she left. I sat down by his side and took his hands in mine.

"Lam..."

"Dont say a word."

I silenced him. I just wanted to savour this moment of knowing he was OK, alive and well, thriving. I finally looked at him, my eyes teary. He widened his eyes in shock seeing me teary. He leaned ti wipe off my tears whilst I leaned in simultaneously. I kissed the palm of his hands and then leaned even in to kiss him this time, softly, putting all of my emotions in naked display via that kiss.

Pha did what I had been afraid to do then at the beach, he kissed me back.