Without you

Chapter 2- The Calm Before The Storm

I woke up in my bed. Sasuke's been gone for a few weeks. I was finally able to snap out of it and run after him. But I wasn't able to get to him in time. He was gone. I've been looking everywhere for him.

Everytime I think I'm getting close to him his trace vanishes again. It's like he's doing it on purpose. Giving me the illusion of finding him only for me to turn around empty-handed afterwards.

When he had just left, it was complicated. I would stay cooped up in my room and not sleep or eat, but just exist. Now though, I like to keep my mind busy with tons of training.
Jiraya and I left to find Lady Tsunade a couple days back. I'm still healing from those injuries. Orochimaru got me good. I can't help but to think of what could happen if Sasuke really did become as powerful as him. Would he be coming back then?

But thinking about it, Orochimaru seemed very irritated every time I mentioned Sasuke to him. The medic ninja who was with him too. Kabuto, that traitor.

I lost focus and the rasengan I had created in the palm of my hand slowly disappeared into thin air. I groaned. I shook my head to clear it. I looked around at the setting sun.

The field I was in was slowly getting messier as the days passed. On the good side, I was getting better at this rasengan thing.

After other failed attempts at focusing on anything other than Sasuke, I decided to leave it at that and go back home.

I walked the almost empty streets of the village. It was quiet now that Orochimaru had what he wanted. We were still very busy with all the missions the new Hokage was throwing around, but again, it kept me occupied.

I opened the door of my apartment and slammed it shut behind me before locking it. I slipped off my shoes and my orange shirt.

I felt completely drained as I let my body fall on my old mattress. I felt so tired, but I knew I couldn't fall asleep just yet. I laid on my back staring at the ceiling. My thoughts lead right back to Sasuke again.

If I got rid of Orochimaru, would he come back for me? Then I thought of Sakura's feelings for him. Would he come back to her? I regretted pouring out my feelings to him that night. It had been absolutely useless. It didn't even convince Sasuke to stay. It just made me extremely embarrassed.

I slowly closed my eyes and let the wind from the window blow inside my dirty room. I wish I was enough for him. I wish he could've stayed and been with me. I wish he cared for me as I care for him. As I've always cared for him.

At first I hated Sasuke. He was so good already and we were so young. He was popular with every girl and he was capable of being something I wasn't; he was serious. I was the goofball always shut down and never praised for anything I did, because I didn't have anyone. Iruka sensei was the only one I could depend on. And as grateful as I am for him being in my life, I needed more than that.

I needed someone to push me to be better. Who could be brutally honest if that's what I needed. Surprisingly, Sasuke pissing me of and treating me like a loser kind of did the trick. And soon enough I couldn't see my life without him by my side. He had become the only one capable of railing me up, but also calm me down. I kept acting like I wasn't affected by him while deep inside I was. I admire him. His strength, his mind, his focus. Not to mention he was incredibly good looking.

I felt a light blush on my cheeks at that thought. I smiled before shaking my head and covering my face with my hands.

He had also lost all of his family and he and I had become so similar. Going back home all alone with no one to talk to about these kinds of things. I wanted to be there for him, and in a way we were able to be there for each other. Just by a glance, I knew what he meant to say.

I took a deep breath, feeling cool from the wind floating around until my eyes snapped open. I always closed the window when I'm leaving for training. It wasn't supposed to be open.

As I went to sit up in my bed I finally felt a presence next to me. I tried jumping away put the person caught me and pushed me back against the bed.