One Plus One

Chapter Thirty-Five

I had lost all sense of time and place. I didn't know what day it was or what I was doing. I had remained in my bedroom since Harry had taken me back home. My phone had vibrated numerous times and the house phone had been ringing around the clock. I couldn't talk to anyone. I needed to get to grips with the way things were going to be from now on.

I had locked Jaz's room. I wanted it left untouched. When I had gone in, the clothes she had taken off before she got ready still lay on the floor. Her makeup was spread about over the dresser and the duvet was a crinkled mess where she had sat on it. Instead of making me cry, it made me smile. It reminded me of the things that made me love her. The last things we said to each other didn't exactly leave us on good terms. That was what was hurting the most. I'd never get the chance to reconcile things with her. I could say I was sorry, but I'd never hear her forgiveness.

I scared myself when I looked in the mirror. My skin no longer held the healthy glow it had always held. My wrists were covered in scratches and small scabs where I'd broken the skin. Underneath my eyes had begun to darken from sleep deprivation. I could count the amount of hours sleep I'd had on my fingers. I looked like a ghost of my former self.

I could hear my phone buzzing away in the drawer. I had learnt to block the annoying noise out. I would talk when I was ready. No sooner. I heard the letter box open and close again on the door. Suspecting it was some post, I ran down to collect it, but the lid was opened again upon hearing movement. It didn't take a genius to work out who it was. The bright emerald eyes were a dead give away. I couldn't let Harry see me. Not like this.

I tried to speed back up the stairs but he'd caught me. I heard him shout my name and froze on the stairs.

"Marlie, open up, please?"

"I'm fine, Harry. I just need some time."

The lid of the letter box clunked shut again. I crept down the stairs and pressed my ear to the door. I could still hear him outside but I couldn't figure out what he was doing. When I heard the doormat hit the ground, I knew. He was looking for a spare key. He'd found it.

I heard it slide into the lock. I sprinted from the door and up the stairs into the safety of my bedroom and slammed the door shut. Makeup was pulled from my makeup bag and quickly smeared onto my face in order to give it some sort of colour. I found a hoody and used it to cover up the scratches, bruises and cuts on my wrists. Just as I zipped it up, the curly-haired boy I'd been hiding from entered into my room.

Harry said nothing. He only looked at me. His eyes didn't hold the sparkle I was accustomed to seeing in them. Instead they were dull and filled with emotion. My head was telling me to speak. Just to tell him something to give him reassurance that I was ok, but my heart ached for him to make the move to hold me, so that I could feel his warmth and relax into his safety. I needed him.

"How are you feeling?" he quietly asked.

I fiddled with the sleeves of my hoody, pulling them down further over my hands. I winced as the material brushed over one of my scratches, catching the skin. Harry's eyebrows furrowed at the odd reaction, creating a cute little crease in the centre of his eyebrows. I panicked as he walked over to me. I put my arms behind my back but he was stronger than me. He pulled them out. I bit my lip to stop the whimpers fleeing. Harry carefully tugged up the sleeves. His emerald eyes widened at the reddened patterns decorating my wrists. He tilted them from side to side, inspecting the damage further.

"What have you been doing to yourself, hmm?"

Harry gently wiped an escaping tear from my cheek.

"Don't cry, angel. You'll tire yourself out."

"I just don't know what to do with myself." I pathetically said.

"Being on your own isn't going to do you much good."

Harry combed some stray locks behind my ear. I lost myself in his intense gaze. I longed for his arms around me.

"You look tired."

"I can't remember the last time I slept properly."

I began to think of the night it had all happened. How Harry had stayed close to me the entire night as I lay awake in his arms. He had comforted me as I cried, helped me to relax. And then I'd shut him out.

"Harry, will you stay with me? Just for a while."

"Of course, angel."

HARRY'S POV

I think we'd been sat on the couch for around half an hour. When I looked down, Marlie was fast asleep on my chest. Her chest rose and fell deeply, the only visible movement. The rest of her remained still, deep in slumber.

I had managed to convince the officers to take just my word on what had happened that night. Marlie didn't need any more stress. I had never seen someone in such a fragile state. Lily had taken the job of organising the funeral, anything to make things easier on Marlie. She needed all the support she could get.

Marlie had still yet to stir once it got dark. I carefully picked her up and carried her upstairs into her bedroom. I gently placed her down in the bed covers. When she could feel no warmth beneath her, she began to wiggle around. I was quick to join her again, not wanting her to wake from what was probably the longest sleep she'd had.

I could see through the make up she wore. She tried to hide her ghostly state from me but I could see it all too well. I couldn't keep my eyes away from her damaged wrists. Not only were there still bruises from where Jamie had yanked her from behind me, but she had scratched herself to pieces. I wasn't going to leave her alone again. She'd only do more damage to herself. She needed me. She trusted me. I wasn't about to let her down.