HIP #2: Summer Of Love

Chapter 36

"Fine. But under one condition." I just want a condition as an assurance that I can get a benefit from this pageant he signed me up for. Well, I have no idea yet what I should be putting in as a favor with him, but I said it for safety.

"Okay, deal. What's the condition?" It took me a moment of silence as I ruminated. I need a strong condition from him so whether I lose in the pageant, it would be a great time for me.

"If I win, you give me one hundred dollars and if I don't, it would be fifty dollars."

"That's so unfair!"

"Unfair? How is that unfair?"

"In the pageant, you'll already get a consolation prize of three hundred dollars, runner-ups would get six hundred dollars, and the winner would get one thousand dollars. Whether you lose, you'll get money. And the money won't be mine. It would be yours. If you win or lose, I will still pay you? I'm your best friend, not your handler, personal assistant, or manager. That doesn't mean I signed you up for this. I'm going to do everything. It's a girl's thing. How am I supposed to get knowledge about this?"

"You said a lot. I just asked how is it unfair. You know what, you have good Q and A skills. Maybe you should join." We laughed together. He's right. It's pretty unfair. But it's still better than nothing.

"Deal or no deal?"

"No deal." He immediately answered.

"What? You're the one who signed me for the pageant!"

"Well, yeah but it's nothing for me if you won't join. It's not like I would lose a lot. I signed you for it because I thought you would like it. I'm sorry if it wasn't that type of surprise you were expecting. Sorry if I look like I'm pressuring you. All I wanted was to return the other favor when you let me experience being a pilot. I thought it was time to let you experience being a beauty queen but I don't think you want to." I don't know if he's being sarcastic or he's about to cry. The tone of his voice sounds like he's okay but the words... they sound hurt.

Did I hurt him?

Of course, you did! He signed you up because he wanted to surprise you and you refused to take the offer. Do you know how much effort he made for that? And you're even the one asking for a favor and being greedy? Even I would be hurt by those words. All I want to do right now is to shut my subconscious down. But somehow, she's right.

"Okay, fine. I would join the pageant without a favor." I smiled.

"No, if you don't want to, don't. I don't want to see you joining the pageant just because I pushed you to." The light on his face has vanished. And I am the reason. What have I done? Again? The more I try to not make him sad, the more he gets sad.

I shook my head, "no, I would join the pageant because I want to, I would join for myself. I would live my dream." Darn, girl! That already sounds like a final answer which deserves a crown.

"Your choice." He nodded but still hasn't smiled as he did before. Gosh. What have I done!

****

For four days, I did nothing but practice, practice, practice, and practice. I rehearsed so many times. They say that practice makes perfect. Nothing is perfect but trying is believing. These past few days, I skip lunch to become skinnier. I have also been binge-watching some YouTube videos containing tips about how to answer questions right, and how to walk properly, and I watched all the performances of my favorite beauty queens. I've been trying to copy the way that Catriona Gray walks, and how Demi Peters answers, and I went to different pageant sites for some online blogs which I read on how to impress judges.

They've all been helpful to me. The biggest help was Peter. Though I made him think that he's been controlling me to join this. I feel bad for what I've done. But at least, he's the reason why I'm enjoying all the self-rehearsals I've been going through.

They're like meant for me. I love them because I feel comfortable as if I'm living my purpose. After the years that passed by, I forgot what I want to be but when he came along, he reminded me what my goal is and now I'm living with it.

Amber passed me the high heels I bought from the shop. Good thing that they got everything I need here. "Thanks," I handed her thirty dollars and she gave me my change.

"I'm rooting to see you in the pageant next week!" She screamed when I already have my back turned to her and I was already a few meters away. "I would do my best!" I yelled back as I heard her giggle.

I heard from people around that some who are joining the competition are the daughters of Mr. Mayor, and some who are tourists here just like me. in total, we are sixteen candidates. I'm not joining to win, get the prize, or prove something to anyone. I'm doing this for myself. I'll join to remind myself what my purpose is and to enjoy the moment.

I fixed the heels on my feet and tried to stand up though at first, I stumbled and almost fell. That's just how it works at first. They're also a little too tight for me but they're the most stylish ones. I better get them before anyone else does.

I took a deep breath in and let it out as I whispered to myself. "You can do this. Just focus. You're going to be the next high heels master if you keep practicing." I held my eyes on the wall, formed my fist into a rock, and smiled as if I'm already on the stage.

This is just the beginning of my journey.

I took one step, another one, next to one is another one until I reached my bed. I might not be perfect, but I will do well.