HIP #2: Summer Of Love

Chapter 20

His answers were a relief to me. At least they could kill some of my confusion. "Time for me to return the favor. Can you answer some of my questions?" I was just about to ask him to return the favor to me and he said it himself.

"Sure." I nodded. He rested his feet on the bed and moved closer to the wall, then leaned on it. I turned around to face him properly while I was thinking of what he wanted to ask me. "How did you become a Swiftie?" Seriously? That is the question he wanted to ask me? After I asked him something very personal and out of the boundaries? I expected he would ask me about my relationship or my regrets. "I don't know. Maybe because her songs are really sad."

He smirked. "So that means you're sad?" I rolled my eyes while smiling and replied, "No. I'm really into sad songs." He nodded. I was telling the truth. "Okay. But the question was how not why."

Didn't I answer his question right? I thought I did.

"I once heard You Belong with Me on a local radio station and it was so relatable that I fell in love with the song and became a fan of Taylor," I stated.

"Relatable? You related on it?" Darn yes! I did.

"Yeah," was all I said.

"Tell me about it." Oh no.

No way I would tell him about it.

The reason that I related to that song was that back when I was in seventh grade, I developed something for him. For Peter. When we first met, I already liked him; I admired his looks. But as time passed by, I liked him more. And like moved into love. I began loving him not just because of his pretty face but also because of how he treated me.

He made me feel like a woman. He made me feel empowered. He always respected me though he's older than me. And even just once in the years of our friendship, we never fought. Except earlier when I cried. And I admit that I like it when Britney and Shane tease me. But I realized that loving him was like chasing the moon; it was wrong, it was not appropriate. I wanted to confess to him what I truly felt but I was scared.

Scared that our friendship could have ended with my confession words. So instead, I kept my feelings to myself. I hid it deep inside my heart. And it's still hiding down here. I tried to stop loving him and I was able to do it. I was able to get him off my mind. That was when Chance came along and distracted me. They have a lot of similarities and differences. Instead of always reminding myself that I and Peter could never happen, I used Chance to move on.

And I don't know why Peter hasn't found a girl yet when he deserves one. I thought that maybe he can work out with Britney but she never showed any sign of liking him and she also once told me that he's a good guy but not her type. I see how she fell for her bad-boy brother.

"No," I responded after a minute of long thinking. I didn't even notice I got lost.

"That's not fair," I know. But I would rather play unfairly than tell him that he's the reason I became a Swiftie; I knew that I liked him but I also knew that he could never be mine.

"I'm sorry. I just really can't. Perhaps ask me something else?" I saw the disappointment in his eyes but he did something I forgot to do earlier: to understand. "It's okay. I understand. I know it's about a boy." He rose his eyebrows and teasingly smiled at me. I just rolled my eyes in return and shook my head.

I decided to take a few steps closer to him and joined him as we both leaned on the wall with our eyes on the ceiling. "Here's a different question... if Chance cheats on you would you give him a second chance?" I giggled when he pointed out the last word to relate it to my boyfriend's name.

That's another thing I used to like about him, his humor. "Well, yeah. His name is Chance. So I would give him a second chance." We both chuckled together.

His voice becomes deeper when he laughs. It's like a musical instrument that I can't figure out. "Well, yeah. For real, I would really forgive him not because of his name it's because I know him. I know that he deserves to be forgiven like how he forgave me when I said something insulting to his little sister... he's a very nice guy." He pressed his lips and rose his eyebrows in agreement.

"It's pretty obvious." He replied.

"Another question..." Instead of making me mad, it made me glad. Because I seemed to enjoy the way we get to know more and more about each other. Things we've never known before. "Go ahead."

While he kept his head leaned on the wall, I rested mine on his shoulders. They're hard but soft at the same time. "Have you ever had a crush on someone you can never have but still waited for you guys to happen?" Perfect timing.

"Yeah, up until now I do," I responded.

"Woah, so you mean that while you're in a relationship with Chance, you like someone else?" Darn it. I knew he wouldn't understand.

"No! Definitely not. It's just that I know he can never be mine. But I'm still waiting on a miracle. I mean before Chance came into my life, I already like him and he never knew it." I was referring to him. I guess he didn't notice.

"I feel you." He gently wrapped his arms around me then I looked up at him.

"I like someone so much but she's taken. She will never know how much I like her, she will never like me back." I thought of Britney. But then I realized that Britney's not taken yet. She was once taken but not anymore. Because Nate and she broke up when she found out they were siblings. I still think it's her that he's referring to.