Epiphany *The wilds*

Day Thirty-Four

———————
"Where did you think that plane was taking you  and what exactly do you remember about it going down?" I question the boy in front of me.
"To... to Hawaii. To a retreat, but... but..." he begins, but I cut him off.
"And then there was a mechanical failure, right?  Or something that felt like a mechanical failure? Did.... Did they give you anything to eat on the flight?" I question him again, but he sighs loudly and shakes his head.
"I don't know. Can you just stop?"
"Was there cake? Was there dessert?"
"Maybe, yes. Yeah, I think there was cake. But can... can you stop and tell me who you are and what the fuck you're doing here?" He yells at me, clearly confused.
"I'm you. I am you. I mean, obviously, I'm not you-you, but everything that you have been through, the same thing happened to me. The plane crash, the island, the ending up here. Same sandals, same sweatpants, same nightmare." I yell back to him.
"Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but I really think I should go get somebody." He begins to stand up, but I stop him.
"No, don't, don't, don't. Nobody behind this door is actually here to help you. This place, this situation, this whole mind fucking saga that you've been trapped in for I don't know how long, it's all a setup. The plane crash wasn't an accident. This isn't a coast guard station. Our parents aren't coming to get us.... This is a prison, and if we have any chance of getting out of here, like, any at all, I'm going to need you to talk to me."
He shakes his head and pushes me away before sitting down.
"I know how it sounds, and how I sound saying it, but that awareness that has got to count for something, right? And I am aware. I am, like, nauseously aware of how crazy I must seem right now." I ramble on, making him sigh loudly.
"Not just crazy.... Afraid."
"I am." I plead, running my hands through my hair.
"All right, I'm either agreeing to this for real, or I'm just humoring you until you disappear.." he begins,
"Which one is it?"
"Trying to figure that out myself...." He trails off, playing with his hands.
"So.... What do you want to know?"
"Everything."
—————————
It's been 4 days since my... incident.
I don't know who found me or when, but... that feeling... it won't go away.
I feel numb, I've been laying in this spot for days, just waiting to feel anything else, but it's impossible. I just want to feel again.
Toni pats my head before walking over to dot, whose had a hard time even looking at me since.
"Did she sleep at all?" She whispers to Toni, causing her to shake her head sadly.
"Fuck, that's four days..." she trails off, finally working up the courage to look over at my lifeless body.
"Yeah, can't tell where her mind is, you know? Or what made her want to take her own life." Toni mutters, shaking her head again.
Dot sighs, but before she could speak, Leah walks up and sits down.
"I wouldn't waste your time wondering. I mean, this isn't the first time she's done this. Probably won't be the last time either, but what matters is, she's alive and she's finally fucking quiet." Leah laughs, not caring about the hard stares coming from Toni and dot.
"What? I'm not gonna be pressed over her sad little case of insomnia. You know what would of helped, dot? A benzo. But, she hooked them all before we made her puke em out, so it looks like she dug her own grave on that one." She spits out once again, glaring over at me.
"Yeah, Leah. She almost did." Toni glares at her, clenching her fists.
"Fuck you, Leah. Honestly, I don't know what you have against her, but you need to get over that shit! she's your fucking sister!" Dot yells out, standing up to look at her in her eyes.
Leah just looks down,
"I'm sorry. But I'm done with her. She promised she wouldn't do this to me again."
"I don't think you mean that." Toni cuts in, shaking her head.
"I don't?" Leah laughs.
"No, I know shit talk when I hear it, and you don't mean that."
Leah shakes her head while rolling her eyes but doesn't respond.
"Alright, well, I had you scheduled later, but maybe I'll just pull a double shift." Dot says to her, glancing in my direction.
"Thank you... happy to play nurse to Rachel, you know, if you need me to. I got all the time in the world for that one." Leah jokes again, pointing over to Rachel.
I hear a loud scoff then foot steps stopping right in front of me.
I look up slightly to see Rachel standing there with a dull look on her face.
"Let's go." She demands, holding her hand out for me to grab.
When I don't move, she speaks again,
"I'm not gonna sit here being pitied. Let's go." She whispers to me, glaring at the group.
Hesitating, I grab her hand and let her pull me away from the group, not daring to look back.
We walk for a while in complete silence, just enjoying the nature and the presence of one another.
We end up back at the beach somehow and Rachel goes off to do her own thing, leaving me behind.
I sit down in the sand while watching the girl pick up a few pieces of rope before she walks back towards me but doesn't say a word.
"Are you okay?" I question her, making her shake her head quickly and look down.
"I'm so sorry, Lydia, for the other day.. I went off on you so hard..." she trails off, causing me to stand up to look at her.
"Something just sort of broke. And To think that I might have... to think that I might have pushed you...-" she begins again, but I cut her off.
"Rachel, you didn't. And I didn't. I don't think I actually meant to, like, end it all....I think I just wanted to stop feeling."
She nods her head,
"I know. It's the fucking worst."
After a moment of silence, she gives me a small smile, letting me know that we're in this together.
I smile back at her, happy that our beef or whatever you wanna call it, is finally over.
She hands me a piece of rope and we begin to make our way back to camp.
"I will say, and yes, I'm absolutely asking the universe to slap me back down, but... right now, doing useful shit, I feel kind of okay." Rachel voiced from beside me.
"Bold of you to say that out loud." I laughed at her comment.
"Yeah, I'm regretting it already. " she agrees, laughing with me.
I clear my throat and look down,
"I'm feeling better too, by the way. It's like... I forgot that my blood wants to circulate."
Rachel laughs slightly before sighing and turning around to look at the ocean.
"Lydia." She says suddenly, causing me to turn around and look at her.
She points to the ocean and I can finally see what she sees. A white box.
"You really want to get it pumping?" She questions me, smirking.
I bite my lip to hide my smile,
"What is that?"
"Let's find out."
——————-
"Whoop, whoop!" Rachel screams out as we walk closer to the group.
"Surprise!" I cheer with her, setting the big box down.
"Yeah, surprise they didn't murder each other in cold blood." I hear fatin mutter out to Shelby.
"Where'd that come from?" Toni asks us, excitedly.
"Pulled it out of the water." I answer her with a smile on my face.
"What the hell's in it?" Fatin questions us.
"Take a look. Bet you'll like it." Rachel smirks at her, opening the box.
"Or at least be, like, mildly amused and confused by it." I add.
"Party supplies?" Toni asks, expecting something more.
Rachel and I nod while laughing, the girls looking very amused.
"Um.." Fatin begins, while picking up a decoration.
"...An old persons party, an old person named Barbra."
"Why are y'all acting disappointed? I mean, look at these." Shelby exclaims, grabbing the plastic silverware.
"Yeah, plastic forks." Fatin laughs at the girl.
"Yeah, but they're, like, the fancy plastic, like, full on dishwasher safe. And aren't you excited to eat with a frickin fork again?" Shelby cries out with excitement, picking up more decorations.
"Oh, my god. How precious are these?" She squeals, grabbing even more decorations.
"They're plates. You're gonna lose your girlfriend to this kitschy party shit." Fatin laughs, nudging toni, who just smiles wide.
"I mean, can you get her off like this?" She continues, making toni turn a deep shade of red.
"This Barbra knows how to party." Shelby declares, loving every single decoration in the box.
"This is a real heat check for me." Toni laughs out.
"Hey, fatin, there might be something for you.." I trail off, handing her a bottle champagne.
"Okay, I take back all negative commentary. Barbra, you're a fucking legend." She shrieks, holding the bottle up with pride.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, is this what I think it is?" Shelby interrupts, holding up a male piñata, making me burst out in laughter, and walk back a bit to try and calm myself down.
"Oh, it's a piñata! And candy!" Martha exclaims.
"Holy shit, babs, you were gonna beat up your boss in effigy?" Fatin laughs, grabbing the piñata.
"Yeah, I can't tell whether that's punk rock or disturbing." Toni comments, laughing harder.
"Both."
"You okay, Lydia?" Rachel questions me suddenly.
"Yeah, no. I'm.. im.." I begin, but the other girls laughter makes me laugh out loud.
Once I start, I can't stop. I begin laughing so hard that my face turns red.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just the piñata" I giggle, pointing to the piñata in Shelby's hand.
I laugh harder, clutching my stomach, not being able to hold it in.
"Our dad has this friend named Top Ramen-"
Leah begins for me, but I cut her off.
"His name is actually Paul, but we call him Top Ramen because this one time on a ski trip, he got very drunk and snorted, like, ten lines of ramen seasoning... That piñata looks just like him." I laugh again, causing the girls to laugh along with me, slightly confused.
"Look, you know dots gonna wanna inventory the shit out of all this." Rachel comments, gesturing to the decorations.
"Yeah, where is dot?" I ask the group, looking around for her.
Everyone shrugs before going back to talking about the decorating, making me sigh softly.
I walk over to my stuff, peeling off my wet tank top and pulling on one of Fatin's sweatshirt's.
"Hey, Lydia.." I hear Leah call from behind me.
"Yeah?"
"Can I talk to you?" She walks up to me, sitting down on the log next to my 'bed'.
I nod, pulling my hair up into a pony tail.
"So.. uh.. I know that you heard me earlier, and I just... I'm sorry. After last time, I just can't... I have nobody left, Lydia. I can't lose you. We used to be best friends, I miss that, you know? I guess I was just pissed off that you would leave me." Leah rambles on, feeling sorry for what she said.
I nod my head before speaking,
"I know. I'm sorry, too. I've been a shitty big sister, and trash fucking influence. It's time for a change."
She nods her head this time, agreeing that we both could use a change.
"I'm gonna go look for Dottie, I love you, okay?" I say to her, before pulling her into a hug.
She nods and whispers it back, pulling away to let me go.
I smile at her and grab my things to go to the only place I can think of... The old camp.
Luckily, it's only a couple miles but it's going to be getting dark soon.
In the distance, I see a bright fire and dot sitting alone, reading a book.
I try to be as quiet as I can, not wanting to disturb the peaceful girl.
"Hey, Dottie." I whisper out to her, causing her to jump a little.
"God, you scared me!" She yells out, throwing the book in my direction.
I giggle while sitting down in the sand, resting my hand on hers.
"What are you doing out here?" I question, drawing small shapes on her hand with my thumb.
She shrugs and nods to the book,
"I don't know.. guess I wanted to know what all the hype was about." She jokes again, but I know there's something more.
"Where'd you and Rachel go?" She asks me, pulling me in closer.
"We took a walk and found some party supplies. We actually talked about everything and we're good now." I smile softly.
She nods while giving me a small smile,
"And, are you?"
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion,
"Am I what?"
"Are you good?" She questions, causing me to look down.
"Yeah.. fuck, I'm sorry. I just wanted to stop the pain, I didn't mean to cause other people-" I begin, but she cuts me off with a kiss.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." She demands, resting her forehead on mine.
"Seriously, Lydia. You scared the shit out of me. When we found you... I thought you were gone....Please.. I need you." She cries out, hiccuping a few times in between.
I pull back a bit before wiping some of her tears with my sleeve,
"I'll never do it again, I promise. Im so sorry..." I begin, taking a deep breath.
"I love you, Dottie." I whisper out, biting my lip.
She widens her eyes for a second before leaning in to kiss me again, more passion this time.
"I love you." She whispers against my lips, lightly pushing me down into the sand.
She starts kissing my neck, leaving light bruises, while running her hands up and down my body.
"I love you." She breathes out again, nuzzling her face into my neck, before kissing my lips one last time.
"I know this is probably fucked up to say, considering the hell hole were in, but, I've never been this happy." She smiles at me, brushing a few pieces of hair out of my eyes.
"Oh, my god." I gasp out, causing her to stop smiling and give me a weird look.
"What?"
"Does this mean you can be my girlfriend now?" I smirk at her, laughing when she blushes.
She rolls her eyes,
"Yeah, idiot. I'll be your girlfriend."
————————
"You said you loved her?" Agent young questions, almost surprised.
I nod while taking a sip of my drink,
"Of course. I did love her, I do love her. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me... There's nobody else like her, you know? She's one of a kind, and I don't know what id do without her."
—————————-