Epiphany *The wilds*

Day Forty-Five

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"You can't just do this! You can't just give up on me!" I plead to agent young, who just shakes his head with disgust.
"Like hell I can't." He spits out, gripping my arm tighter when I try to move away from him.
"Let me try again. Let me fix it! He was so close. I just.. I... I don't know why I stopped him. It was, like, this stupid crisis of conscience." I cry out, biting my lip when he suddenly stops.
"I had one of those myself recently, but now I'm over it, and I've never felt better."
"Please! Please just... just let me try again." I beg, standing in front of the agent.
"Do you think this is the kind of place that hands out second chances? And cut the hysterics 'cause I'm not falling for them again." He sneers, shaking his head once again.
"You really aren't any different, are you? You're just as cruel and as sick as everybody else here." I laugh, shaking my head at the older man.
"Well, shit. I guess so." He grabs my arm again, pulling me to my room.
"Came up with a plan and didn't even bother asking yourself if you can go through with it." He mutters, rolling his eyes.
"And speaking of half baked schemes, we found your little weapon, the knife you hid in the toilet tank. Did you honestly think we're weren't doing sweeps? I had you thinking I was nice, and you had me thinking you were smart." He laughs, shoving me into room before walking away.
I slam the door closed before walking over to my bed, immediately trying to make myself sick.
I run towards the bathroom, 'throwing up' into the toilet a few times, before reaching my hand up into the tank to find my phone.
'At 12:01 AM, You have 45 seconds. Choose wisely.'
I bite my lip, knowing I don't have a lot of people I could call.
I quickly go to my texts, lingering over Noah's name before scrolling through the messages.
I sigh at the sick messages he sent me before clicking the phone off, hoping that this plan will actually work.
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"All right, eat up! This shit won't keep." Dot laughs loudly, gesturing to all the meat she cooked from Martha's hunt.
"No, I can't. I'm way too full over here." Toni groans, clutching her stomach dramatically.
"Come on, guys. We'll feel like dicks if we just throw away food today and then, you know, we don't have anything tomorrow." Dot basically begs while walking over to me and waving the mysterious meat in my face.
"Yummy!" She teases, making me shake my head and back away from her.
"No." I warn, causing her to run towards Darin and wave it in her face instead.
"Mm-mmm. Nope. I'm engorged, and not in a hot way." Fatin shakes her head, glaring at the stick.
"Wow, I am so over this feast to famine bullshit." Dot sighs, causing Leah to nod her head quickly.
"I know, they're sort of awful in their own way." She agrees, glancing over to watch Rachel play with her shoe strings.
Martha giggles lightly before speaking,
"I don't know. I still like feast. Look at my food baby!" She rubs her stomach, making most of the group laugh.
"Absolutely not, Martha." Fatin begins while shaking her head.
"No one has said 'food baby' since 2017 for a reason. We decided to leave it there." She finishes, very seriously.
"Food baby? I think it's kind of cute." Shelby smiles, unaware of the loving stare from her girlfriend below her.
"Nope, Shelby, we are not reinforcing this. Martha, I love you, but I'm not letting you resurrect 'food baby'" Fatin announces, glaring at the blonde girl.
"My thing is, like, if you extend the metaphor, when you do take a shit, are you supposed to love it like a child? It's all very confusing." Leah questions while laughing.
"Im sorry, baby. I didn't know you'd be so controversial." Martha whispers to her food baby, earning laughs from the rest of the group.
"Yeah, Jesus. Come on. Let her have her food baby." Toni speaks up, smiling over at her best friend.
"Ah, nails on a chalkboard. Can we stop saying it?" Fatin groans, burying her head into my lap.
I laugh at the dramatic girl before petting her hair slowly.
"Come on, Fatin. Let her have her food baby." I giggle, making her groan even louder and get off my lap.
"Traitor." She glares at me while pouting.
Dot grabs the meat and waves it in fatins face again.
"Just let her have the baby, Fatin!" She teases, causing ripples of laughter to erupt through the group.
"FUCK!" Rachel screams suddenly, yanking her shoe off and throwing it.
"Oh!" Shelby yelps, getting clocked in the face with Rachel's shoe.
"Oh, shit." Rachel whispers, quickly getting up to run towards the now injured girl.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." She pleads, sitting down next to the southern girl.
"Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Honestly, something needed to interrupt that conversation, so..." Shelby trails off, giving the girl a small smile.
"Yeah, that was pretty low for us in terms of banter." Dot agrees, finally setting the meat down and sitting next to me.
"I wanna know if you're okay." Shelby questions Rachel, setting a hand on her shoulder.
"I am. And then I'm not. And then I am, and then I'm really not. But the prayer thing is working. Uh, I guess I just want more..." Rachel trails off, not exactly knowing what she means.
"More?"
"Like, I don't know, more God, I guess... I don't mean to make this heavy, I just... I just want some of what you got." She smiles sadly, playing with the strings on her sweatshirt.
"Well..."
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Rachel decided she wanted to have a funeral for Nora, and of course we all complied.
I found one of Nora's hoodies and chose to take it down to the waterfall to give it a good wash.
When I finally get down to the water I begin to dunk it in water, but I quickly stop when I notice numbers on the tag of her sweatshirt.
It almost looks like a number.
My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Leah throwing a few water cans by feet.
"Holy shit! You scared me!" I whine, glaring at my sister when she laughs at my reaction.
"What are you doing out here?" I question her, confused by her presence.
"Is that Nora's?" She changes the subject, glaring down at the sweatshirt in my hands.
"Mmhm, Rachel wants to bury it, so... here I am." I shrug, setting the sweatshirt back down into the water.
"Why are you cleaning it? It's just gonna get dirt all over it." She stifles a laugh, an amused expression on her face.
"Respect, I guess." I shrug once again, not really sure why I'm doing this, but if I didn't, it wouldn't be right.
"Yeah, about today... I really wanna be there for Rachel, but....all things Nora are just sort of triggering for me right now, and I think I should sit this one out..." she breathes out, playing with her hands nervously.
"And before you yell at me, Fatin already has you beat, so don't bother." She scoffs, glaring at the ground as if she were there.
"Leah.. I'm not gonna yell at you." I try to comfort, setting a hand on her shoulder.
"I just want you to know that I'm here for you, you know? I love you, Leah. I know things are fucking insane, but we have to make the best of it. You can't just focus on the bad, try and dream about something good. Fantasize, you know? Like we're 12 again." I laugh at the end, causing her to join in too.
We sit in silence for a moment before she decides to speak again.
"Yeah, I guess. I just... I just wish someone would believe me."
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We all stand around Nora's 'grave', one by one one putting something sentimental into it.
Each girl finding something that reminded them of her.
Death is such a tragedy, but in some fucked up way, it can be really beautiful.
The death of Nora Reid not only brought us together, it truly made us one big family.
I would do anything for these girls, hell, I would even die for them.
Once we finally covered the grave in dirt, Shelby gives a bouquet of wildflowers that she found to Rachel, promising to always bring a new one each week.
"You think I could have a moment alone with her? Maybe say goodbye... just the two of us." Rachel whispers, too afraid to look up at any of us.
Without saying a word, we all begin to head back to camp.
Everyone walking slowly, feeling the guilt of it all.
When we finally arrive, we sit in an uncomfortable silence, the energy filled with grief.
"Do you guys think that, like, our families have given us funerals?" Martha questions morbidly, tearing brimming her eyes.
I feel dot tense up beside me and decide to pull her in between my legs before setting my head on her shoulder.
"Jesus, I hadn't thought about that." Fatin shudders while staring at the ground.
"I mean, it's been so long that we're probably..." dot begins from below me, but gets cut off by Leah.
"Gone to people back home? We are dead to the world." Leah states while shaking her head, scoffing a bit at the end.
"Oh, my god. Lydia, our parents... god, I love them but they definitely got our funerals wrong.. you just know they planned a double funeral like a fucking 7 year olds birthday party." She snickers, causing slight laughter from some of the girls.
"My parents probably cry a lot... but are probably trying to be strong for my sisters.... I hope someone's taking care of my bunny. If you don't love them, bunnies get mean." Martha shakes her head sadly.
"Your moms definitely taking care of Mr. Bunniesworth." Toni laughs, bringing some comfort to the sad girl.
I feel dot shake her head before sighing loudly.
"That Fucking Dr. Gretchen Klein with her whole greasy little 'don't you deserve good things' sales pitch." She scoffs, shaking her head yet again.
"What are you talking about?" I question, causing her to look up at me.
"Gretchen Klein, the retreat lady in the airplane video. I don't think she's actually, like, a doctor- doctor, but that's just, you know, how she introduced herself." Dot shrugs, not seeing the confused stares from the group.
"You met her?" I question my girlfriend again with furrowed eyebrows.
She nods, finally looking around the groups reaction.
"What? Didn't you?"
When everyone says no, she shrugs, confused but not too worried about it.
"I think she just gave me a donut, did her little song and dance selling me on the retreat. Said that she'd sort out child services, so I fucking went for it." She states while looking at the ground and pulling her arms to her stomach.
I wrap my arms around her waist, smiling when she leans back to get comfortable.
"Do you wanna go on a walk?" I whisper softly, lightly kissing behind her ear.
She nods while standing up, extending a hand out for me to reach.
I grab her hand, letting her lead me somewhere in the woods.
"How are you doing, love?" I question, smirking when she blushes at my nickname.
"I'm alright, I'm just... tired, you know?" She nods her head while running her fingers through her hair.
"How are you?" She continues, looking back at me with a small smile.
"Okay.. I'm tired too, I kinda just always wake up feeling exhausted..." I trail off, pushing some of the branches out of my way.
"Yeah, I'm there with you." She nods, abruptly stopping to stand in front of me.
"So, I found this place yesterday.. what do you think?" Dot bites her lip to try and hide her smile.
I look around at the spot, almost gasping at the sight.
Not only was it surrounded by trees and wildflowers, it was overlooking the ocean and the gorgeous sunset.
"This is beautiful, Dottie.." I smile, running over to grab a handful of flowers.
"For you, my dear." I giggle while using an obnoxious British accent.
She rolls her eyes while grabbing the flowers, unable to hide her smile.
"You know, I've missed you.." She trails off with a smirk on her face, causing me to roll my eyes.
"Oh, yeah? Is that why you brought me out here?" I laugh, snatching the flowers from her hand playfully.
"I must be good then, huh?" I wink, causing her to turn red.
"Oh, god. Please, stop. You're killing me, here." She laughs while covering her face with her hands.
I smile at her reaction while walking over to uncover her face.
"You're lucky I love you."
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When dot and I finally got back to camp, she decides to go off to find some extra tinder for the fire, leaving me alone with Martha.
"Hey, Lydia. Do you wanna play MASH with me?" Martha giggles while throwing over Nora's notebook.
I nod and grab the book, writing down all the different weird answers We could think of.
After an hour or two of playing, we finally end up on our last round.
"Dude, this is the best one yet.." I laugh, looking at the answers in the notebook.
"You're gonna marry shrek, which sucks for Marcus, but shrek is hot, obviously. You're gonna be a veterinarian, you're gonna live in a shack, damn, which we had one of those right now, and you're gonna have 18 beautiful children. Real ones, not food ones." I exclaim loudly, laughing at Marty's scsred reaction to the kids.
"Really? 18 kids Is a lot." She gulps, widening her eyes.
"Yeah, but shrek would probably help"
She laughs at my comment while standing up.
"I'm heading to signal fire duty."
I don't have time to respond because dot suddenly appears at camp with a bunch of tinder in her arms.
"Hey, um, if you see Rachel, can you tell her to come back? Funerals are draining and I just sort of want her to crash." Dot says while nodding her head with a sad smile on her face.
Without saying a word, Martha nods and begins her walk to the signal fire, leaving me alone once again with dot.
"Okay, my turn!" Dot laughs, pointing to Nora's notebook in my hands.
I don't respond, as I flip through the pages I find different drawings and quotes and writings from Nora.
"Lydiaaa, do my MASH." She whines while laying her head down on the ground.
"Yeah, okay." I respond, but continue to flip through the pages.
What catches my eye is a drawing across two pages of flowers.
I skim the two pages, taking in how beautiful Nora's art work is, when I notice a set of numbers in a flower.
I furrow my eyebrows, beginning to think about Leah's accusations towards Nora, then it hits me.
There was a number in her sweatshirt too.
What the fuck?
Was Leah telling the truth?
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I sit in my uncomfortable bed, trying not to seem as impatient as possible.
I Pace back and forth for hours, glancing up at the clock what seems like every minute.
After what feels like forever, the clock finally strikes midnight, In one minute, I could save my girls.
It's time.
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Authors note/ hey y'all, yeah this took entirely too long to write, I've been extremely unmotivated but I'm hoping writing this and my other stories will help me come out of that.
This was def like a filler chapter too, next chapter it should be going down!
How are we liking the new cover? My last one was busted lmfso