"Only 20 minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen"
Lydia Rilke is Leah's older, definitely not wiser, sister. She comes off as a q...
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——————— "I know this is delicate, but we do need your account of what happened that day." Agent faber says to me softly, frowning at his partner. "Right." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "We couldn't see them, you know? We could hear them. If I'm being honest, I can still hear them. It could of lasted a second or maybe an hour. I don't know. But then she was just.... Gone. Dottie saw her first. Some of us froze. But some of us just.... Knew what to do. Some of us took it harder than others, who let the whole thing....shatter them. There was no upsides. And I don't think there ever will be.... But what I will say for all of us.. is that it tied us together, Into, like, I don't know... something more than we were. We became, like... there's no other way to say. We became a family. It was how fast it all happened. That what's hard to believe... The idea that only three weeks before, we... we didn't know each other at all. There was awkwardness, distance... a lot of glances.... politeness.. Just strangers heading in a new direction... with no Fucking idea what was coming." ————————- It's been 7 days since the accident. I don't know....It just doesn't feel right. There's all this heaviness without her. And Rachel... We may not be the best of friends but, it's like all she knows is hurt right now. She's so broken. Meanwhile, dot and I are snuggled up in the woods together, away from the group before we have to move camp. I know it's probably selfish to say this when the last week has been hell, but, "I feel like I'm floating, like I'm weak..." I grab her hand and look in her eyes before continuing, "Like I'm high on every drug on every drug they warned us about in those middle school assemblies." I giggle, causing her to roll her eyes. "Stop, You're hitting my sap limit." She jokes, letting go of my hand. I whine and grab it back, causing her to laugh. "Im just kidding, and by the way..." she begins, intertwining our fingers, "Im really happy, too." I smile at her sadly and shake my head, "The guilt of it all. What are we supposed to do with that?" She sighs and shrugs her shoulders, "We should be grateful for the good. For what we have. I know we just had a hard loss, but... we can't let it ruin us." I smile at her wise response and nod, leaning up to kiss her on the cheek. "You know, I don't think I say this enough, but, you're so fucking beautiful." She comments, playing with a piece of hair that's fallen in front of my face. Blushing, I pull her down for a passionate kiss, putting my hand on her cheek. She sits me up, not once pulling back, and sets me down on her lap. I break the kiss and pull my t shirt off revealing my black bra. Dot bites her lip at my appearance before kissing me passionately, pulling back for a second to pull her shirt this time. She wraps her hands around my waist and pulls me close, kissing me harder. I tangle my hands in her hair, pulling slightly, causing her to moan in my mouth. She softly pushes me back on the ground and gets in between my legs, running her hands up snd down my body. "Are you sure?" She asks me, stopping all of her movements. I nod while grabbing her cheeks with my hands, "Please, Dottie..." ———————- After our risky rendezvous in the woods, we decide to gather some wood to finish the SOS sign we've been making in the sand the past few days. "Why am I not getting stronger? All I do is lift shit. And I basically eat paleo." I whine to dot, who just laughs at me. "Maybe it'll hit you all at once. And, like, your muscles will come bursting out of your shirt like the hulk." She jokes, setting the piece of wood down in place. "Oh, so, the elements have definitely curdled your brain, haven't they?" I tease her, making her roll my eyes at me and change the subject. "I know that this didn't do shit for us last time, but we can't move inland without leaving proof of life behind. So, between this and the signal fire, we should be good." She nods her head at our big sign. "What does SOS mean, again?" I ask her, expecting an answer, but she just shakes her head. "I feel like I should know this, but I'm drawing a blank." I smile sadly before responding, "You know who would have known?" She nods and we both look towards the ocean, wondering where our friend could of gone. "Which, uh, reminds me, it's my turn to check in." She nods her head towards Rachel, before kissing my cheek and walking to her. I sigh and watch her walk to Rachel, patting her shoulder before sitting down beside her. I decide to walk over to Marty, whose just sitting down, watching the waves crash. We sit in silence together, not having much to say. Fatin walks over with a book in her hand and plops herself down next to us. "Martha! Girl, you've been holding out on me. I was consolidating some of our shit, and I found this at the bottom of your suitcase." She gestures to the book, causing Marty to blush and look down. "This is literature. I mean, I've only perused, but it's already better than Jeff's soggy diaper of a book." Fatin laughs, rolling her eyes. "It's got short sentences, a few bedroom scenes for the spank bank, if she'll ever go there again...it's beach read. We got a true fucking beach read on our hands and we're leaving the goddamn beach." She continues, patting Martha on the shoulder. "sorry. Forgot I had it." Marty stutters, looking away. "You okay?" I question her. "Can I ask you guys a question?" She looks down, before continuing, "Have you... have you noticed any new vibes between some of the people here?" I furrow my eyebrows, "Are you referring to the clinically depressive vibes at our three o'clock? Cause I think Rachel's got a pretty good reason-" Martha shakes her head and cuts me off, "No. I don't mean bad vibes, I mean more like.... Shiny vibes.... Like between two people.. who might be more than friends." Fatin smirks at me fully knowing, "Shoni." She nods, "Shelby and Toni." I add, giggling at Martha's confused expression. "Oh, my god, are you just now finding out about this? That's been live for, like, a week now." Fatin gasps. "A-a week?" Martha stutters again, shaking her head. "Oh, no. Did you catch them boning in the woods? God, I should've known. I've been looking for them to help me pack. You know, I can usually spell an orgasm a mile away, I thought it was just dot and Lydia." She winks at me, causing me to turn bright red and smack her leg. Leah suddenly walks up and drops a small pile of wood on the ground. "What?" She questions Fatin, who is staring at the wood she dropped. "Nothing. It's just-" she starts, but Leah cuts her off, "Wood for the signal fire like you asked." "No, it's perfect conceptually. It's just, I thought you would get more of it." Fatin shrugs, causing Leah to laugh sarcastically. "You've been gone for, like, an hour." I comment, causing Leah to glare at me. "You, like, my shift supervisor now? Do you have, like, a clock on me?" She sneers at me, causing me to throw my hands up in defense, "Hey-" I start, "What do you care how I spent my time? Shouldn't you be somewhere with dot, anyway?" She begins to walk away, but I get up and follow her. "Because I miss you... among other fucking things." She rolls her eyes, "I'm right here. I haven't gone anywhere, but you have." I sigh and grab her arm, "Leah, I love you. You're my little fucking sister. I'm sorry that I've been distant, but you've been distant too. I know you're still looking for it..." She shakes her head, "I can't not, Lydia. That pit, it's... it's my only way of knowing that I am not, like, truly and completely... "she trails off, looking at the ground. "Leah, it's a mirage." I say while trying to pull her in for a hug, but she shakes me off and grabs her things before walking away again. "Where are you going?" I question her, causing her to stop and turn around, "I'm not... it's not that... I... thought I'd try again. Make a less pathetic attempt at the firewood. Try to save some face... if I can." She says before beginning to walk away again. I nod at my sister, wishing I knew what was going on in her mind. ———————— "I'm really not sure about this new spot." Fatin states from in front me, holding two logs in her hand. "I mean, I don't even like trees. People think that they're peaceful and spiritual. But you know what I call them? Fucking old. Remind me again why we're leaving the beach, because right now this feels insane." She rambles on, all of us arriving at the new camp. "Come on, now, we'll be out of the sun, out of the wind, warmer at night...." Shelby smiles, while grabbing big leaves to make herself a new sleeping area. "And away from where we lost her." Martha says sadly, looking down at the ground. Shelby sighs and rubs her hands together, "It'll be good for all of us." I walk over to dot and sit down, putting my head on her shoulder. "God damnit." Fatin groans out suddenly. "Do... do you guys know what happened to the axe? I put it in that pile of stuff that Leah was supposed to bring." She asks us nervously, looking through her suitcase once again. "She was supposed to be back hours ago." I chime in. "You know, I haven't seen her. You think she's okay?" Shelby questions, looking in my direction. "Yeah. She just doesn't know when to fucking quit." I roll my eyes. We all decide to go back the beach where Rachel is, only to find Leah packing up random supplies. I smile at her before taking a deep breath and walking over to Rachel. "I know you probably don't want shit to do with me, but... I just wanted to say that she was a really good person, and I'm so happy to of known her. I think about her everyday..." I begin, staring off at the sunset. "I know how you feel and I just wanted to say I'm sorry-" I try to start, but Rachel scoffs and cuts me off. "You know how I feel? That's fucking rich. Nora's gone and it's my fault. She was trying to save me from myself, and... she's fine now, and it's.. it's my fault. You think you know how I feel?" She cries out, causing me to widen my eyes and stand up. "Rachel, I.. I'm sorry" I stutter, but she shakes her head while clenching her fists. "SHE'S GONE AND ITS MY FAULT! SHES GONE, ITS MY FAULT!" She screams at me, hitting me with her arm that isn't wounded. Toni runs over and pulls me away from her. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, LYDIA? She's gone, and it's my fault! Do you feel this way? She's gone, and it's my fault!" Rachel cries while yelling at me, before dropping to the ground and sobbing into Shelby's chest, dot right next to her, rubbing her back. I wipe the tears from my eyes and stare at Rachel in shock, having nothing to say. Fatin grabs my arm and pulls me away from the group behind a big rock. "What the hell was that?" She yells at me, crossing her arms. "All I was trying to do was relate and help her.. I didn't mean for this to happen." I cry out, falling to my knees. She shakes her head, "Listen, I get it. But, You have a girl hanging on by an absolute fucking thread, and your idea is to go in and slice it? What is wrong with you?" She glares at me, turning her back to walk away. "Just, go take some time to yourself. Let this shit show chill out. I don't know, but... don't come back for a while." She says to me, before walking back to the group, leaving me on the floor crying. I get up and run aimlessly through the woods, not knowing where to go. After falling a few times, I find a tree surrounded by bushes and decide to sit there, not really knowing where else to go. The way I feel right now... is fucking disgusting. I didn't mean to hurt Rachel, that's was the last thing I meant to do. It seems like all I ever do is hurt people... All I wanted to do was help. I can't do anything right. I feel numb, yet at the same time, I feel so much fucking pain. And All I want to do is end it. Wiping my tears, I reach into my pocket and grab the bottle of pills I took from dot. I never thought I'd do this again... I'm supposed to be on a fucking retreat, but I'm stuck on a stranded fucking island. It's been so long, I doubt anyone is even looking for us anymore, so, what's the point? Would anyone even care? I twist the cap off and pour a handful into my hand, Memories from the first time I did this flooding my mind. I don't know if it's enough to kill me, but Maybe it will end my pain for a while. I slowly pop the pills in my mouth, one by one, swallowing in between. I sniffle and wipe my runny nose before closing my eyes and letting the darkness consume me, Only this time hoping it's not dot who finds me. —————————- "Why did you do it?" Agent young questions me with sad eyes. "I don't know, honestly... I think all the emotions finally hit me, you know? I was actually doing really well, I felt so selfish for being happy... maybe it was my karma." I shrug, wiping a tear that fell from my eye. "Karma? For being happy?" He questions me again, furrowing his eyebrows. I nod, "Yeah, you're not allowed to be happy on that fucking island." ————————- Notes // yeahhh so 🤺🤺 That was that. Hope u guys r enjoying it!! I kinda wanna do a rue Bennett story.. thoughts?
