The Recording I left Behind- (lady gaga)

𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

Some days passed and I found her in the library again.
Since I told myself I shouldn't think twice anymore, I went towards her and sat by her side.

"Hey, Stefani. Remember me?"

"Oh hello, of course I do! I was thinking about going to have lunch later. Wanna come?"

"Oh, I'd love to but I have a class in an hour. Thank you for inviting me though, I'm in need of friends around here."

"Well, you found the right person then. I can present you to a lots of people. I usually go to many bars and I'm starting to record some songs right now, maybe you could visit the studio someday."

"Of course, you're so sweet! I'm actually really curious about your songs since I heard you in the bar."

"If you're available this evening you can call me, I'm going to the studio around 5pm."- she ripped a piece of paper from a sheet and wrote her number.
Wow, where did she get all this confidence from?

"See you there then."- I happily smiled.

__

And this was how our friendship started, after a year, her career grew a lot, she grew up too and I grew up with her.
In 2006, when I was 21 and already thinking about graduating, I applied for some jobs.
Stefani was trying to work in a good studio since she dropped from university some time after we met.
She continued singing in bars, danced to earn some money, started collaborating with another musicians and bands.
She was happy with herself, she was feeling like it was a good start...or a good way to keep going.

Some years ago, at the beginning of 2005, Stefani started having some problems. She started to don't feel worth it, feeling like she was not enough and the drugs didn't really help.
I couldn't believe she was feeling like that, I mean, she has never been like that since I know her.
She had a really good image of herself even though her self esteem was not always so high she knew she was amazing, I don't know what got into her mind.
I tried to help and get her away from that bunch of toxic boys who were destroying her.

"Johanna, please, I know this is bad but they believe me. They appreciate my music."

"But you can't stay like this, you're my best friend and I will not allow you to destroy yourself right in front of me."

"I know drugs are bad and all that stuff but they make me inspired."

"Stef, aren't you aware of the consequences of that shit? You can't have that 'fucked up rock star life'."

"Yes, I am aware, but I choose my music career first. It's more important than everything else."

"Oh, come on. You're the one who created your music. You should put yourself in front of your creations before there's no Stefani to write anything."

"You know, sometimes I feel like I need to go through some shit to get where I want to be."

"I understand but you can't be with that people just because they make you feel cool and worth it. You need to understand you're all that without needing any approval from the others."

__

We had many fights because of her friends, I was not jealous or anything, I was really concerned about her.
I knew she wanted to feel like a pop star, she wanted to feel it all, live it all, but she forgot her future would be ruined if she continued like this.

Some time before that conversation we went to a bar together and she sang again, there was a guy who was really interested in her and promised giving her good contacts with producers. This was back in 2005, when he invited her to the band he was forming.
His name was Richard, we used to call him Ricky.

Ricky was a cool guy, he played guitar and was slightly known around the city for playing in some bars.
He was that type of guy who made jokes and everyone laughed, that guy that looks like he knows everyone here and there, he was amazing on stage, we liked him.
He didn't look like a bad influence for Stef too, however the rest of the band was slightly different.
The drummer was clearly on coke, the bassist even worst, but Ricky promised he was not into that kind of stuff and wouldn't let Stefani get into it as well.
I was not concerned since she promised she wouldn't do it again, I always trusted her. Besides, this entrance in the band pushed her away from the toxic guys she used to hand out.

She made some shows with them, they had a producer and recorded their first EP.
My eyes were always on her. I couldn't be more proud of my best friend.
At this point we were making that life of waking up, working, bars, studios, bars, bed.
She made me feel the freedom I was starving for and forget about my problems... sometimes even a little bit too much.
She set me free and that's all I was craving for, our future promised a lot of things.