The Recording I left Behind- (lady gaga)

𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?

One day Stefani invited me to her dorm, coincidentally it was in the same building as mine, the Carlyle Court.
We decided to start the night by watching some movies.
She absolutely loved that gory horror ones, I couldn't complain, it was not that bad and Stefani made them funny.
There was like someone falling from a 25th floor, arms getting ripped off, people getting stabbed and it was so stupid that she kept laughing at everything. I couldn't help it but laugh with her, in the end I forgot it was an actual horror movie.

After finishing the first one we were totally energic.
We had the idea to jump on bed and put music out loud until two students who lived under her knocked on the door telling us to "respectfully, shut the fuck up".
We apologized and the second we closed the door, we started laughing hysterically again.
We fought with pillows, we broke the chandelier, we fell on the floor laughing even harder.
It was so fun to be around her, she came into my life exactly when I needed.

"You're crazy."- she said, still on the floor, breathing heavily and looking at me laying next to her.

"Oh, shut up!"- I made an offended look.

"But that's why I love you though."- she laughed.

"Don't lie, Stef."- I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah right, I hate you then."

"You're fucking annoying too."- I said playfully. She slapped my arm.

She let out a giggle and got closer to hug me, resting her head in my chest. Of course I hugged her back. When I felt her kissing my cheek I wanted to scream, I didn't know why I felt like that.
Million thoughts ran trough my head in that moment.
I smiled at her and she got a little bit too close to my face, making me confused, but I didn't want to make it awkward so I stayed still and pretended it was nothing.
I could feel her heavy breath and heartbeat getting closer. It made me nervous every single second.
She gave me a fast kiss on the lips and turned around so I couldn't see her face.

"Stef! What was that?"- I shouted and sat up, trying to look at her.

"Lol, nothing!"- she laughed awkwardly. I turned her to me, facing her green eyes. She was so beautiful. I could literally kiss her again in that moment.

"Have I told you that you're so gorgeous?"- I used to tell her everyday but that's all I could think about.

"Are you really telling me that after I kissed you? Aren't you gonna kill me or something?"- I didn't answer. I was still speechless with what happened and even more with my soft reaction.
Since I didn't say anything more, she grabbed my face, driving me through a passionate kiss this time.

How was I supposed to react? Well, I kissed her back, I couldn't refuse it.
Feeling her lips sent a shiver of comfort down my spine and butterflies through my stomach. I got addicted to it but I was scared.
We were best friends, were we really doing the right thing? I didn't even know if she really wanted it.

"You're gorgeous too, Johanna."- her eyes were shining, that's when I understood she wanted it as much as me.

I didn't really process what happened that night but after some time later we started to go out, thinking no one would notice, but everyone around us knew already.
The way we were always together, the hours I used to spend talking about her, the way we touched each other didn't lie to anyone.

I think Ricky was into her and I couldn't help it but get a little jealous when he was too close to Stefani on stage.
I hated when people asked if they were dating, I hated when he put his arm around her, when he sang the songs while looking right into her eyes, I hated the chemistry.
But I got over it and started getting used to this dynamic, isn't chemistry needed on stage? Then there you go.
__

Stefani's parents kept not liking the idea of having this kind of artist life but it was what made Stef happy so they had to accept, she was old enough to make her own decisions.
If they even knew she was into drugs a year ago, they would have gone absolutely crazy.
I'm happy I was able to help her but I need to admit that she saved me a lot of times too.

All my life I've been hearing people say someone saved their lives, but I thought they were insane, until I met my Stefani.

She used to talk about me to her parents, as a friend of course. They didn't know absolutely anything about our relationship but they loved me.
She didn't say a thing to anyone, we knew it would be hard.

I either had to lie to the world or lie to myself.
I knew exactly what I felt for Stefani, so lying to myself wasn't an option, so I decided to lie to everyone else.
That's why no one knew, and she did the same.
We had our golden years together in silence.