The Recording I left Behind- (lady gaga)

𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜

I dressed up and made a small make up to meet Stefani.
I was nervous, I didn't see her in ages and I'm now meeting her after this awkward social media conversation.
I drove to the address she sent me and took almost ten deep breaths until I got courage to click on the bell ring of the building.
She opened it and I finally entered. My hands were trembling, I was all shaking.
When I got near her door I knocked softly.

"Hey..."- she opened and greeted me in a low voice but I stayed in silent. My eyes started to water.
I couldn't just cry now! Not in front of her.
I tried to say something but I knew I would break into tears if I opened my mouth.
She understood what was happening, so she hugged me.
One thing I loved about Stefani was the fact she could understand me even in the biggest silence, she could read me better than anyone else. And even after all this time, she still did...

"It's okay. Enter, please."- she said in a comforting way.

I sat on her sofa and it felt embarrassing. I was completely static and shaking.
She sat by my side and rested her head on my shoulder.
I wanted to hug her so bad.
I couldn't take it anymore, she knew I missed her already, she knew I wanted her too, there was no reason for me to hide it anymore.
A tear fell down my cheeks as I hugged her tightly.
I turned her to me and placed her in my lap.
I felt my shoulder getting wet, she was crying too.

"You have no idea how badly I missed you everyday."- she said.

"I missed you too Stefani... so much."- I said.

"I fear that for the rest of my life I'll keep regretting all the risks I didn't take for you. I don't want it to happen again."- she kissed me like we wouldn't see each other ever again.

"What are you doing?"- I asked between kisses.

"Fixing what I broke."- she simply said and continued kissing me.

Our breaths against each other felt just like seven years ago, when we kissed for the first time. When we didn't know anything.
She took off her shirt and I started planting kisses on her chest.
I laid her on her back and kissed her lips once again, she didn't let me go this time, she held my face with her trembling hands, eyes still filled with tears but smiling against my lips.
She gently grabbed my chin and made me look at her.

"Hey, I love you."- another tear dropped from one of her greenish hazel glossy eyes.- "in no second of my life I stopped loving you."

"I still love you so much."- I said.

I kissed down her belly until I reached her laced panties, then taking them off.
I went up again so I could kiss her mouth.

"Can I?"- I softly touched her tight with my fingers.

"Yes, please."- she whispered between our kiss.

I slowly opened her legs and pushed two fingers inside her. She reacted with a whin.
I just wanted to make her feel good, I wanted to show her how bad I missed her, I just wanted to have her back to me and this time not letting her go.

She opened more her legs and bucked up her hips so I could go faster.
"Ahhh. Yes!"- Her eyes were forcefully closed and she started panting.
God, she was so beautiful.

I started kissing her chest and sucking in the spots she used to love. She started panting more and more until her back arched and she released all over my fingers.
After that, her expression instantly closed and she had a nostalgic look on it. I wasn't sure if I did something wrong.

"Are you okay?"- I was concerned.

"Yes..I'm just sorry. Don't leave me again. I won't fuck up again."- she looked right into my eyes. "Please."

I laid on top of her and she put my head on her chest, caressing my hair.
I made sure my actions answered what she asked for.

"Did you know I wrote brown eyes for you?"- she added.

"Oh, I watched the interview."- I laughed softly, remembering it.

"So you have been watching me?!"- she looked surprised.

"Not really, just that one. I told myself I shouldn't search your name."- I confessed.

She laughed and hugged me again.
The loud silence of the room made us comfortable.
Sometimes silent is needed too, maybe we would understand each other better, maybe in silence we could find forgiveness.

While she was in my arms I couldn't remember how bad it hurt to let her go, in fact, I just could think about how good it was to have her back.