the book report

34

                            June 7th, 2008
(SIDNEYS POV)

I drove my car up the small hill into the cemetery parking lot.

I parked my car and look out the window.

I looked on top of a small ledge in eyes view. My eyes started getting watery but I gulped it away and got out the car.

It was a mid-hot summer day, and I was wearing black jeans with a white t-shirt under a light brown jacket that was zipped half-way.

I had my hair pulled back to a loose ponytail.

I trudged up the hill and stopped when I saw familiar names.

I sat down in front of Sasha's and Cole's grave. I mostly had stuff to say to Sasha since I was closer to her, but Cole was still a good friend.

I opened a note and read it aloud.

'Hi guys.' I started.

'Um.. nice to see you again. I-I I don't know if you remember me..

I don't blame you, I wouldn't remember me either.

Uh.. ever since you guys have died, everything went to.. shit. I tried to be normal. We all did, but that's not possible' I said in a trembly voice.

'My dad didn't change, at all. My mom came by maybe once or twice and never came fucking back.

It really didn't change, I just changed. I stopped talking to anyone. I ignored the teachers. I ignored Harley and Joan. I.. I disappeared. I-I've tried to be.. normal. But thats not possible.' I whiped tears so no one could see me cry.

'I-I.. everywhere I walked pass, everywhere I looked at, I thought of you guys. It.. its like we had memory's everyplace in this fucking town. I-I could've saved you guys. I..'

'Anyway.. Im 28 now.. I need to move on. I got an apartment near that ice cream shop we always went to. I almost decided not to, but I did cause it was the cheapest thing around.

The bills are getting harder to pay, and my job.. its crappy. It pays low and im the only female person there. So im either getting treated like shit or getting treated like a lab rat. I.. I can't go to collage.

We all agreed.. we all agreed to go to a collage together.. but, but you're not here. So..' I said that, basically stuttering every word. A few tears came out my eyes but I whiped them quickly.

'I.. I got you guys brace- friendship bracelets. I- I know Sasha likes purple and Cole likes yellow so uh.. I got you those colors..' I said as i sat down a purple round beed bracelet with a charm that says 's' on it next to Sasha's grave. I then placed a yellow round beed bracelet with a charm that says 'c' on it on Cole's grave.

'I realized that.. that I've hurt everyone. Everyone I love, I've hurt. I thought.. I thought..' I trialed off.

'I- I guess thats all.. I- I really miss you.' I said, letting the tears roll out.

'Ill see you soon..' I said.

'Love, you're stupid freind..' I took a pause.

'Sidney.'

I got up, whiped my tears, then walked back to my car.

the end.