Strange

Suicidal

You looked at him confused as he continued, "Sweetie, you've been risky with your life and haven't really been caring about anything anymore. You don't focus on your schoolwork, you haven't wanted to train, you haven't been wanting to eat, all you want to do is sleep. And, you risked your life to do what? To find out something? And you didn't even ask me?" He paused and said, "You suggest that you're suicidal." 

You asked trying to punctuate every syllable, "Suicidal?" 

He explained, "You don't care about living anymore. I think you have a major depressive disorder" He saw the confused look on your face, "You have no motivation and you don't care anymore." You looked down at the table but he gently lifted up your head with his hand, "It's okay to be sad Morgan. You've gone through a lot, but I need you to let me help you." You nodded and he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head but he said, "It will help if you talk about what's making you upset." 

You sighed and said, "I don't know. I just...I can't feel anymore and- I don't know." 

You had no idea how to describe that you were numb but it looked like he was understanding. Almost like he had gone through this before. 

He asked, "You don't feel sad?" 

You shook your head, "I don't feel anything." 

He looked at you worriedly and said, "You feel numb?" 

You nodded and he asked, "Is that why you went back?" You looked at him confused but he explained, "The nightmares, they scared you so much but it also reminded you of when you could feel something. Now that you're here, you don't go through your regular cycle of pain anymore and now you feel numb all of the time. When the nightmares started coming, you were scared, but at least it was something. And the drugs definitely didn't help, after you healed and were off of the drugs, you felt even more numb. So, you decided to go back, to see if you could feel something. Is that right?" 

He just described everything in perfect detail of what you were going through. 

You nodded and let a tear fall out of your eyes, "Yeah." 

He then got up and sat next to you to comfort you. He rested his head on top of yours and rocked you back and forth, "It's gonna be okay. We'll figure something out, you'll get better. It won't always be like this." 

You nodded and sobbed into his chest, "I'm tired of this."

He answered in a soothing voice, "I know, I know, but you're gonna get better. I'll help you." 

You looked up and asked, "Promise?" 

He smiled and ruffled your hair, "Promise. Now, go get some rest, we'll figure something out in the morning." 

You nodded and went upstairs to your room but as you were walking into your room you bumped into the door frame which had a sharp piece of wood sticking out from it. It cut you on your arm and drew blood. 

This was the moment that changed everything. You thought it was harmless. One small scratch. It made you feel something small, it was harmless. Or so you thought. You didn't think one small scratch could cause an addiction to something so simple...but it did. 

You looked at your arm and wiped off some of the blood. 

It felt good. You were too focused on the pain of cells getting torn apart to think about anything else. 

You then looked around the room for something that could make the same effect. Eventually, you found it. From the night when you broke your bond, there was a piece of broken glass. You picked it up and sat on the floor. You then slowly guided it across your wrist feeling the familiar pain. It felt good. 

Logically, you would think someone who was tortured their whole life would hate inflicting pain on oneself but you were tired of feeling numb. 

This was better than numb. 

It was something. 

You did it a few more times until you noticed you were bleeding significantly. You liked it. Eventually you got ready for bed but noticed that your wound continued bleeding significantly. It was warm in your room but you didn't want to risk Stephen seeing your arm so you wore long sleeves to bed. 

----- 

You were back in the familiar place. You walked around your old room wondering how long this dream would last. You tried hitting yourself to make yourself wake up but nothing worked. Then, you heard a knock on the door. You tried to speak but no words came out. Then, you heard the door open but it was only cracked and no one walked in. You eventually brought yourself to open the door and that's when you saw it. You saw Stephen with the strange purple orb. 

Then, the other shadowy figures behind him were saying, "Give it back." 

You heard Stephen yell, "No!" You began to run up to them but you saw a weird portal opening up, nothing like Stephen's. He then turned around to see you and begged in a painful voice handing you the orb, "Take it, don't let anyone find it. It's dangerous. It's you." Then, he got sucked into the portal. 

-----

You quickly shot up from your bed in fear. You felt something painful in your hand. You quickly opened it to see if it was the orb but it wasn't. It was the piece of glass that was now slicing up your hand. You furiously threw it across the room and went to the bathroom in hopes to wash the blood off. When you did that, you saw your hand glowing purple. You blinked a couple of times to see if you were still in a dream but you weren't. It wasn't going away. You decided to just go back to bed in hopes that you were just hallucinating. 

----- 

You woke up late the next morning around 10:30. Stephen came into your room quietly and whispered, "Good morning." You were so tired though. He then slightly pulled back your covers and said, "You need to wake up and come eat something. You've been sleeping for a while." 

You didn't want to get up but you complied in hopes that he wouldn't get suspicious about what you did last night. You began to lift yourself up from the bed but when you did so, you felt lightheaded and slightly fell back down. He looked at you confused and tried to help you back up, "Morgan, are you okay?" 

You angrily pushed his hands away and stood up angrily, "I'm fine." 

He looked at you shocked and said, "Morgan-" 

But you didn't say anything, you just got up and walked past him and went downstairs to read a book and eat. You saw the food he left for you at the table and you began to eat and read one of the sorcerer books. 

He met you downstairs a few minutes later and said, "Hurry up and finish eating so you can get ready. I want you to train today. I have a new idea."