Theres a concept of being in a room full of people you have once loved or cared for and having to chose one of them, but what if that concept was real? What if you had to be faced with the decision to chose just one of those people from your past? Who would you choose?
--
If it was his turn.
The room was small and plain, dimly lit by a single hanging light that created an eerie orange glow around the room. There were five chairs where five different girls sat, one being her. She looked to her left, two of his ex-girlfriends glanced back at her, before avoiding eye contact and looking down at the floor. The other two girls she did not know, must have been girls from his past or girls that came after her that hed come to care for.
She wasnt entirely sure why she was in this room, next to girls that he once loved, because she was sure he didnt love her. She knew hed cared for her at some point, but that was over a long time ago. She was always sure that she had cared about him more than he had for her, but then again, the attachment is always one sided when you share all your firsts with a person whos already had all their firsts with someone else.
The girls said nothing, none wanting to be the first one to break the awkward silence that lingered between them. They knew that this happened to everyone, that at some point their past would come back to bite them in the ass, but they didnt realise it would be quite so awkward. You could cut the tension with a knife.
Suddenly the door creaked, and a woman in a long purple coat stepped into the room, followed by him. She felt her face redden, and she looked at the floor. She shifted awkwardly, the woman said something to him that she couldnt quite hear over the noise of her own heartbeat drumming in her ears. She breathed deeply and looked at him. He looked the same as the day he left her, he never seemed to change. Her heart ached as he stood before her, memories flooding through her head that shed desperately tried to suppress for all the years theyd spent apart.
The woman spoke again, this time to the girls seated in front of her.
Youre here today as you all have been craving some sort of closure, you may have had thoughts at some point in the past like, if I was in a room full of other people that they have loved before, would they choose me? Well, youre about to find out, but, before we do that, you will all have a moment to say the things you need to say to him in order to clear your minds and heal your hearts. The woman smiled sympathetically, as she gestured to the first girl to stand and give her speech.
He stood there awkwardly shifting his feet, she knew hed never been good with feelings or communication and now he was being faced with both. Luckily, he didnt have to say anything back, hed always been the type to keep his cards close to his chest, thats why she never really knew exactly what he was thinking. Confusion is what tore them apart, being too young and too afraid of commitment while also caring for one another, it was a confusing concept.
Suddenly, she could feel eyes on her. The woman in the purple coat gestured for her to stand. She cleared her throat and stood, cringing as the chair scraped against the stone floor.
Im not entirely sure what Im supposed to say, she mumbled.
What ever you want, dearest. This is your time, the woman smiled, tapping her foot impatiently.
She felt his eyes on her, she made eye contact and watched his cheeks blush pink. He looked at the floor again.
Hi, she started. He nodded in her direction, giving a half smile as he continued to look at the floor. Truth be told, I dont know why Im in this room today, surrounded by people that you had a lot more love for than you did for me. I suppose its because I never really did get closure, I just forced myself to get over it and move on, which we both know, took me a while. They both let out a brief laugh at this comment.
Theres so much I want to say, but I dont think Ill ever find the exact right words. Sometimes I feel like Im just going round in circles, trying to replay what happened in my head, figuring out what I couldve done or said differently, she felt her eyes filling with tears slightly, she quickly composed herself, not wanting to show him too much emotion. Shed always hated feeling so vulnerable, especially with him. Thats all I wanted to say, she sat back down, and twiddled her thumbs, avoiding the eyes on her.
The last two girls gave their speeches, and the woman turned to him.
Well, now is the time to choose. Are you ready? He nodded in response, scanning the room.
She felt her stomach go into knots, feeling nauseous as her palms began to sweat.
She saw him make his way across the room, holding his hand out to her. Lifting her from her seat and pulling her into a hug. She watched the girl hed chosen glow with happiness as she realised that she was the one for him, and then she watched them leave, hand in hand.
He didnt even have to think about it.
No hesitation and no goodbye.
Youre free to go when youre ready, the woman in the purple coat said as she made her way to the door and closed it behind her. The other girls quickly followed behind her, muttering to themselves angrily, some of them even crying.
She stayed sat on the chair in the dimly lit room, looking at the now empty seats surrounding her.
Well, now I know, she chucked, drying the tear that was beginning to form in her eye, if I was in a room full of people, he wouldnt pick me and thats okay. With that, she stood up, forcing a smile and left the room, closing the door and that chapter of her life completely.
