𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢 | 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔩𝔢𝔧𝔲𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩

𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬

Reality hit me like a bucket of bricks when I took a step forward. I cowered away, pulling my hand from Betelgeuse's.

"I can't do it," I breathed. "I'm afraid."

I didn't say anything else in fear that I would just begin crying again. 

"Why?" Betelgeuse groaned. "What are you afraid of? I'm right here."
"Yeah, that's kind of what I'm afraid of."
His jaw dropped. "You're... afraid of me? I'm flattered."
"No, I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid that you might do something to me." I glanced up at him, then quickly turned away. Betelgeuse was a notorious con-man. This very well could all be some scheme to kill me and keep me with him. He said he loved me, but I didn't believe him. There was no way a literal demon could learn to love a teenage girl.

"Oh, come on, Lyds!" he complained. "You can't be having second thoughts on me now."
"I don't want to die, Betelgeuse!" I exploded. "But I used to, and you took advantage of my weakness at the darkest point in my life. I was so ready to jump, but then you were all like, 'No! Before you kill yourself, you should say my name and release me into the world so I can simultaneously ruin and save your life!' It was selfish. It's never about anyone but you. It's always Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse-"

Oops.

He bursted out laughing. "You just said it!"

"Yeah, I know. Whatever. Were you listening to anything I said?" I crossed my arms.

"Yes, and it's all wrong. I intervened because I didn't want to see a girl so young become trapped in the Netherworld forever. And when you could see me, I knew you were special. There's some people that I would have let jump. It's a pretty stupid way to go. And I probably would've laughed. But not you, Lydia. The second I saw you, I knew you were different," Betelgeuse insisted.
"Okay?" I gave him a doubtful look.
"Also, technically, we are still legally married, so I have a right to spend time with my wife."
I went red. "Beej, can we not-"
"No, no, I don't mean it like that," he cracked up. "I married you because I had to. I'm not that creepy. I don't see you like that, you're just this adorable little thing that I want to protect."
I gapsed with indignation. "I am nobody's adorable little thing!"
"Fine, Lydia. I'm just saying that according to the law, I am your husband," Betelgeuse replied. Dumbass.
"Since when do you have any regard whatsoever for the law?" I asked sarcastically.
"Since it benefits me."
There was silence for a few moments. I wanted to laugh or cry or scream, but I didn't know which one.
"Lydia," Betelgeuse pleaded. "We're wasting time. I can leave right now, forever. Or you come with me for one last day together. I'm not tricking you this time, kid. You mean a lot to me. I don't want to hurt you like that again."

I looked at him. At his dirty stripes and bruised eyes, wondering how he could love.
"Let's get this over with."

~☽~

A couple of minor anxiety attacks later, Betelgeuse and I had entered the Netherworld. I'd forgetten how grotesque and beautifully bizzare this place was.

"Your hand is shaking," he noticed.
"I'm scared."
Betelgeuse gently squeezed my trembling hand in a gesture of reassurance. My heart was painfully pounding. I rubbed my eyes, still trying to grasp what was going on.

We got a lot of weird looks, each of which Betelgeuse just replied to with a smug "she's with me". There were a lot of new faces since I'd been here last. A lot of people die. I could feel myself losing my breath as my brain clouded with confusion. Shades of purple and distant wails were all getting mixed up. It felt like déjà vu, the kind when you're spinning on a carousel tea cup too fast and all the sounds around you drown out. Too fast. Everything was going too fast.
"I don't feel good," I complained.
"You're okay." He pulled me closer to him.

The ground felt like it was getting closer to me as my vision blurred. My overpowering anxiety was going to really kill me any second.
"I need to lie down," I managed breathlessly.
"Lydia, you're fine. Stop being so dramatic."
"Betelgeuse," I said between grit teeth, "I am going to start crying. And die." I was being kind of dramatic.
"Sounds good. Just don't faint on me." He was acting rude and dismissive, but kept a firm grip on my hand.
"Where are we even going anyway?"
"Well," Betelgeuse sighed with passive aggression, "as you know, I was kicked out of my own home and forced to live in Hell. I currently reside in that."
He pointed over to a disheveled looking cave thing with his ridiculous light-up sign adorning the entrance.

"What the hell is that?" I laughed nervously.
"That's my house. Not everyone is privileged like you. Do you wanna come in?" he suggested.
I was nauseous. "I want to go home."
"It's too late for that now," Betelgeuse said nonchalantly. "And how do you know what your home is, Lydia?"
"Because it's my house," I stated the obvious.
"Nuh-uh, girl." He rasped. "Do you feel loved and accepted there?"
"What do you know about love and acception?"
"A lot, Lyds. More than you."
"That's a lie," I said blankly.
"Yes, that's a lie. But anyway, this could be your home, Lydia! If you're happy here, we could make this your home. Forever."
"Stop. We already discussed this."
"Fine. Just come in. I have somethin' for ya."

I wondered skeptically what this 'something' could be and hoped it wasn't something disgusting. My stomach couldn't take much more.