Everything Gets Better

42

Warnings:
-Eating disorder behaviour (tube feeding/starvation/mentions purging)

George's POV

~ A Few Weeks Later ~

Dream and Sapnap sat next to my bed while I was waiting for the results of my last lumbar puncture and MRI. This would decide if I needed more treatments and had to start from the beginning or if I was officially cancer free. I couldn't wait for the doctor to come back and held Dream's hand tightly.

Dream was holding a grape and spun it around between his index finger and his thumb. After weeks of fighting, he was finally allowed to leave the hospital. His blood counts went back to decent, not great at all, but not threatening anymore.

Because they knew Dream wouldn't start eating more than two hundred calories a day whenever he was allowed to go home, they ordered a lot of feeding for him and his tube stayed in, until he started eating more.

Dream constantly skipped his feeding, so I always grabbed his bag and helped him with his feeding after I injected Sapnap's insulin. I was feeling a bit better the last few days and liked helping others who struggled because talking about it was difficult for me.

However, I really learnt more how to release my emotions when I was sick. A few days ago, I told Sapnap and Dream for the first time about my harsh mother, who tended to physically hurt me sometimes, and my father who tried to help me but was hit as well.

My father had, untreated, bipolar disorder and eventually didn't know how to cope with my mother's behaviour anymore. He committed suicide and I found him which was so traumatising that I needed anxiety medication to stop the flashbacks.

Luckily, it went a lot better lately. Probably because my friends were finally here and I wasn't constantly alone while thinking and lying about my feelings anymore. I didn't take my anxiety medication in a while because it wouldn't work that amazingly with the chemo next to it, but I was honestly doing okay without it.

I looked at Dream who sighed deeply and put one grape in his mouth. I closed his eyes as he chewed on it and scoffed. 'I hate this. Can I please stop eating?'

'Clay, you ate four grapes,' Sapnap replied. 'If you ever want to get rid of the feeding through the tube, you'll have to start eating again.'

'I gained weight in the hospital, Sapnap. I look like a monster and have to lose this because I know people like me less than they do when I'm thinner...'

'Whose opinion is the most important in your life, Dream?' I asked, looking him in his eyes. He frowned and then shrugged.

'Yours and Sapnap's,' he replied. 'Maybe my mother's.'

'What if Sapnap and I tell you that we won't like you more whenever you're thinner? What if we tell you that all we want is you to start eating again and gain the weight you need to gain for that?'

He was quiet for a while and didn't know how to reply so he silently put another grape in his mouth. 'Fine...'

While Dream tried to finish his box with grapes, the door opened and my doctor walked in. I immediately lifted myself up higher and looked at Sapnap and Dream with a big smile. Dream moved closer to me and pressed his head against my shoulder while squeezing my hand.

'And?' I yelled out, grabbing my beanie because I felt more comfortable with it around people next to Dream and Sapnap.

'I'm not going to wait any longer to share this amazing news. There's not a single cancer cell found anymore! None in your brain, none in your spinal cord and it hasn't spread anywhere either. You'll need to come back every six weeks for checkups, but for now, I'm happy to say you're cancer free!'

I couldn't help it and let out a high pitch scream, holding Dream's hand with both of my hands. 'Does this mean I can go home?'

'It does and I'm also convinced I don't want to see you again!' the doctor replied happily. 'Go home and celebrate this with your friends!'

'I'm so happy!' I yelled out, looking at Sapnap and Dream who were both smiling brightly. Sapnap stood up and gave me a tight hug, followed by Dream who did the same thing.

'I'm so proud of you,' Dream whispered. 'I love you, George. I never met anyone as strong as you are for going through all of this.'

'I couldn't have done it without you...' I answered, grabbing Sapnap's hand. 'I'm still a bit weak, but I can't wait to go home.'

'We went to your place yesterday in case you were allowed to go home and made up a very cosy spot at the tv and in your room so you can rest a lot and sit comfortably.'

'Thank you, guys. Thank you so much for coming all the way to England to be with me. It means so much to me...'

'I couldn't wait to meet you anyway,' Dream chuckled, leaning back. 'Do you realise it yet? You're actually cancer free! Sapnap is eating fifteen hundred calories a day, I was allowed to leave the hospital and Sapnap and I both quit smoking. I quit drinking and haven't self harmed in one week.'

'I'm so proud,' I mumbled, moving to the side to get out of my bed. I slowly stood up and walked to Dream because I knew he needed comfort the most right now.

I gave him a tight hug and broke it to see him smile happily, waiting for me to say something.

'I love you, Dream. No matter what size you are, no matter how "much" you eat. If you're holding onto your eating disorder because you want to look better for us and make us like you more, I promise you that it won't happen. We will never like you more when you lose more and more. We love you already and will only start loving you more when you're energetic and happy again.'

Dream had tears in his eyes when we broke the hug and he glanced down at his bag, lifting it up to his lap. 'I have a short moment of motivation right now, it can be lost any second... but I'm going to eat my two crackers.'

'We are here with you. Maybe we can help George pack his bags and get his stuff while you eat so you're distracted.'

'Okay...' he whispered. 'I love both of you so much...'

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