Everything Gets Better

43 (The End)

Warnings:
-Mentions everything that happened

Dream's POV

~ Six Months Later ~

I was laying down on my bed in my safe and old space, back in America, the place that would always make me the happiest. However, I wasn't just in America with Sapnap anymore, we didn't just live together in the Dream Team house since George's visa had finally been approved. A few days after that, he left to go to America because he had his bags packed already.

He managed to make sure he could get his checkups in the hospital here in America since he still had to come back every six weeks for the upcoming months to years, but he was completely clean from the cancer and slowly started regaining his life more and more by gaining weight, working on the exhaustion and picking up his job again.

Obviously, the strong medication and treatments he got had their side effects. He was still really tired after doing something small, but the doctor promised that it would slowly start getting better again. He was training his stamina with a coach and exercised three times a week for ten to twenty minutes which was the absolute max for him.

Next to that, he also told all our fans what had been going on. They replied really sweet and worried, but George made sure they would feel as comfortable as possible and wouldn't worry too much about him. He was glad with the support he got and had the courage to stream when he was home with a beanie on.

Surprisingly, most people told him he looked great which we didn't really expect from a Twitch chat, but he felt comfortable and happy so streamed more, but shortly. He didn't upload in a while because his focus had been really bad and he couldn't get himself to edit.

Of course, I told him to send the files to me again and got called a simp by literally everyone. However, this time it was different because the chemo caused a lot of brain fog. George had to write down everything he was going to do that day because he was forgetful and couldn't focus on something longer than five minutes so Sapnap and I constantly helped him.

Sapnap had been doing way, but genuinely way, better than he did a year ago. After slowly going up to a healthy eating pattern, taking good care of his insulin and blood sugar, he got a therapist as well who helped him with his body image and fear to disappoint people.

He started realising his harsh parents, who constantly told him he wouldn't reach anything in life, were absolutely wrong and he stopped trying to prove them he was enough. He realised he was enough to me, George and his fans and started appreciating his accomplishments more.

Sapnap let go of all his eating habits and decided to eat whenever he wanted to. He still had to inject insulin, but he always did this himself because he didn't want to starve and lose weight anymore. He ate up to three thousand calories a day and started gaining weight again which made him pretty upset at first.

However, when a few of his fans told him how great he looked and created a trending hashtag on Twitter, because they knew Sapnap struggled with his body image, that was about his great looks, Sapnap started feeling way more confident.

He started posting pictures of himself again, streamed with face cam and stopped worrying about his weight. He threw his scale out and stopped checking his body in the mirror. He seemed glad with the way he looked and continued to eat whatever he wanted to.

The voices weren't completely gone, but Sapnap knew how to cope with them. He was way stronger than the voices in his head were and he always ignored them and did the opposite of what his head wanted to.

Then there was me. After refusing to eat anything for months, constantly throwing up and exercising four hours a day, I started realising what I was doing when my heart started going twenty-one beats a minute.

After I was hospitalised in England because I refused to eat anything, I eventually went back to America without a tube. Sapnap immediately noticed I started starving again and cried while he begged me to eat something again.

I didn't want to and it resulted into daily arguments and eventually isolation. After I starved myself for two weeks, I passed out and stayed unconscious for minutes. Sapnap heard me fall and called an ambulance who forced me to stay in the hospital again.

I got a tube again because they were afraid my heart would stop beating. My blood sugar dropped even lower than before and I kept passing out. It was so bad that they were about to give me CPR as I woke up again.

That was the moment I realised what I was doing. I was starving for so long that I almost had heart failure and other failed organs. I started to feel a bit of motivation to recover and accepted the tube feeding without fighting against it.

Eventually, I went home again and kept my tube for four months while I slowly started eating next to it. The last two months had been extremely difficult, but after battling anorexia for years, I was finally realising I couldn't hold onto this for the rest of my life.

I started eating very carefully and began with two hundred calories a day. However, I currently ate fifteen hundred calories which was an extremely big step. I was still going higher with slow steps, but I had a lot of anxiety around food.

George and Sapnap always sat with me when I ate and I took an hour to finish my dinner every evening. Anorexia wasn't just suddenly gone and it was still a daily battle. I had to admit that I relapsed a few times and threw up again, but overall I was doing so much better than I used to.

I had way more energy and felt ten times as happy as I used to. I face revealed right after my tube was taken out and had so many positive reactions that I realised people actually cared about me...

'Dream, are you coming for dinner? George and I prepared your favourite meal!'

I stood up slowly and walked downstairs to go to the eating room. I sat at the table and looked at the small portion of pasta on my plate.

'Eat slowly, Dream,' George smiled when he saw me stare at it. 'Take your time, we will be here with you.'

I took a deep breath and lifted my shaky hand up to my face after poking my fork into the pasta. I took a small bite as George and Sapnap started eating too. They didn't pay attention to me, but George held my hand for comfort.

'Thank you for supporting me. Without you, I wouldn't have been anywhere close to where I'm now.'

'I'll always be with you. You've been with me when I fought cancer. I love you both forever and I'm more than proud of you. Life gets better, no matter how dark it used to be...'

'Everything gets better...' Sapnap smiled. 'And I'll be here any second throughout the whole process.'

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