𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓! | 이희승 & 박성훈

#23 - aftermath

HEESEUNG

i woke up to a bright, artificial light blinding my half closed eyelids. i felt uncomfortable.. till i realised i was still in my god damn sports shoes and practice attire. i found myself laying in one of the producing rooms' small sofas, as i stretched my body back into place.

my neck ached probably from laying down on one side the whole night. before i could even get up, i felt my left cheeck and eyes pulsing. it stung, ached, and all of the other god damn adjectives you can think of. basically, i felt like i had gotten lunged in the face a few couple of hundred times - in which, i finally recall, i have.

the last thing i remember from last night was dancing my brains out after that 30 minutes and completely passing out onto this sofa without even washing up. i must smell like an absolute animal right now...

as i recalled last night's incidents, i couldn't help but get infuriated again. the same feeling i had felt last night was starting to build up in me once more, but i knew it was helpless. and to be frank, pathetic.

get it together heeseung.

i picked my pathetic, love-sick self up from the tiny sofa and headed for the dance studio. we always kept spare clothes in the cupboards because we'd always sweat our asses off in that room; to the point where the staff always kept around 5 bottles of air fresheners in the room. evidence of our hard work, i guess.

i yanked the nearest shirt and sweatpants i could find, and headed for the company bathroom where there were a few showers. idols could practically live here if they wanted to since they'd spend long hours producing, practicing in the company building.

as i stepped foot onto the cold cement floor after my steaming shower, i couldn't help but rethink about y/n and what i had with her back in the day. all i could think about was her.

i stared at my face in the mirror, examining my swollen eye while rubbing my wet hair aggressively before pausing - remembering the stupid, lame jokes y/n would always tell me. funny enough, it influenced my current humour. i was so head over heels for her then that any joke she'd attempt to make, i'd still laugh my ass off. was i still..

NO! don't even finish that thought. i'm done with it.

it was a naive, simple and useless highschool crush. nothing more to it! i was young. too young. i shook my head aggressively, trying to rid myself of the ridiculous thoughts.

but her. she just kept popping back into my mind like some drug or incurable disease; the sight of her smile and pure excitement whenever she saw me in the halls was one i could not forget for the life of me... no matter how stupid busy i am.

it can't be true... it simply cant! there's no way she never liked me too, right? i felt it... i'm sure of it! or was it purely just how i wanted her to feel? was i desperately longing for her helplessly? was that it? had i always been this pathetic?!

"is anyone in there? i really need the shower right now!!!" a strained voice echoed from outside the thin door that separated me from the rest of the company's rooms.

the banging on the door persists, which did not help my already throbbing headache and swollen eye.

"wait i'll be out-"

"ARGH... I'M COMING IN!" the voice said in frustration as the door yanked open, i stood there with my towel just about covering myself. i stood rooted to the ground, as the scene unravelled in front of my eyes. what stood before me was a bed headed y/n, squinting her eyes as her eyebrows furrowed. her small figure stood before me yet i was the one flushed. my cheeks burned up knowing that she has now seen me almost naked with only a loose towel covering myself.