RED HAIRED BEAU

FANTASY VS REALITY

Something's wrong and I wish I knew what it was. After our trip to St Lairestain two weeks ago, Louis had to work and make up for his 'sick' day off so I didn't see him much. That was pretty normal considering how hard working he is and he does this a lot so I didn't mind but what was more nerve wracking was that Louis wasn't talking to me. I called him everyday to check in on him but Louis didn't pick up his phone after a week or so.

I was more than upset by this whole thing. At first he talked to me a little, giving one word answers but when I asked, he said nothing was wrong but slowly, he stopped picking his calls at all and now it's been a week and a few days since I heard from him.

I decided that it was enough and I needed to know what was going on with him for him to just go off like this. Something must be going on with him and I may have a hunch about what exactly may be causing it...

I got out of my car as I reached the pathway that lead to his house's door and trudged up to that door, knocking on it. I waited for sometime, waiting him to come to the door but nothing. It was so silent that one could hear a pin drop but that wasn't what disturbed me. What was more disturbing was the fact that I had parked behind his car so he was definitely here. I tried opening the door but it was locked.

That's when I began to hit the door.

"Louis! Louis open the fucking door!" I yelled as I continued to pound on the door but no one came to the door. I grunted in frustration and pulled at my hair angrily. I yanked my phone out of my pocket and tried calling him but his phone was turned off. Now at the point ot rage, I began to kick at the door.

I was so overwhelmed with worry and anger that I didn't even notice that someone had joined me on Louis's porch until the person held onto my arm to stop me from doing anymore harm to his door. The person turned out to be Mark.

"Whoa, Amalia calm down." He said, still holding onto my arm. I then realised that Mia was beside him. She stood, staring shocked at me but soon her shock turned to mild pity. I slowly inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm my nerves down. "Louis hasn't been to work in at least a week or so and we came to see if he's okay but..." Wait what? A week or so? That must have been around the same time I stopped hearing from him too. What the hell is going on here?

"Wait so you're saying that you haven't seen him for that long?" I asked and he nodded. What if he...? My mind began to dig up possibly worst scenarios but I pushed them away, trying to stay positive. "He stopped answering my calls around that exact same time too. Does he do this a lot?" I asked Mark. He sighed and left my arm, rubbing his hand over his face and shook his head.

"No. Louis never does anything without reason, there must be a reason why he's being this way." He says. It's taking me everything within to not break down but I can't help but panic at the possibilities of reasons why he suddenly just goes off like this. I looked at his car once more and sighed, trying not to cry.

"Don't worry Amalia, we'll find him. He could be doing this for a reason we might not know. Let's just wait it out and see what happens." Mia says and rubs my arm soothingly. I relax a little a pass a tight lipped smile at her.

Later that night, I spent about an hour, crying. I have never felt this much worry, anxiety, anger and fear at the same time before. This has never occurred in my whole life span of 21 years. What in the world could have happened that made him just disappear in the blink of an eye? Did I do something or did he realise that I'm no good for him?

Could it be that he realised that he doesn't really love me? Is this about his past? I couldn't help but cry so hard that my body shook visibly and I felt like a wreck, inside out. I couldn't breath and sobbed harder than ever. After that, I just felt numb.

I hated this feeling but it was everything I was feeling and I couldn't stop it. He told me that he was in love with me, he told me that he was going to wait until I realized that I loved him but why the hell in he doing this at all?! Was it all a lie?

I felt sick and fell asleep on the living room floor. The subsequent days weren't so easy either as I would cry everyday, missing him pathetically and praying to God that this was just a sick joke. I prayed that he was okay and soaked my pillow with tears, afraid of what the world may end up throwing at me.

I then began to realise as days then weeks went by that maybe I was expecting way too much. I was dreaming up something that wasn't possible. Maybe I wasn't meant to love and was just fantasizing. Now that reality hit me, I had to accept it. Maybe he was done with me and ran away so I should do the same as well.