Maybe, If The World Is No Longer Against Us (SL)

Untitled

-SAM

It's 7 o'clock in the evening. I was lying on my bed, I was busy looking on the ceiling when a thought crossed my mind. I sighed and then, I decided to get up immediately. I crossed my legs while hugging one of my pillows. I don't know I just felt like my heart was so heavy I could not take it.

"Why did you get up? I thought we are going to sleep na..." Ly asked softly. "Wanna talk it out?" She sat beside me while crossing her legs as well. "Are you okay?" She looked at me with full concern within her eyes, I can see it in my peripheral vision..

"Another episode of what ifs." I answered not looking at her. She pats my shoulder lightly which made me take a glance at her.

"Overthinking?" I nodded as a response and finally faced her side.

"I will not say na it is okay because probably, it is not and it will never be. But, huwag natin hahayaan na i-take over tayo ng negative thoughts natin ha. I know this is hard for you. Pero let's try ha. I believe in you. Come here." She initiated a hug which I accepted.

I needed this hug. After a long tiring day this is something I needed the most. I needed her the most.

"Ly, hindi ka pa ba napapagod?" I asked we're still hugging each other. I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Napapagod saan?" She curiously asked. I'm not sure if curious siya o nagmamaang-maangan. But knowing her fully I guess it is the first one.

"Sa pakikinig sa akin. Puro na lang yata negativities ang natatanggap mo mula sa akin." Why am I even like this? Hindi ko alam.

"Sam. Bakit ako mapapagod? At huwag kang mag-isip ng ganyan. Hindi yan totoo. I'm willing to receive anything as long as it's from you, as in lahat, may it be on your bad days or good days. I will listen to you. I'll make time.. ganyan ako kainteresado sayo, Sam. Ganyan ka kahalaga sa akin." She explained while caressing my back lightly.

"What did I do to deserve you?" We loosen our hug to look at each other in the eye.

"No. I should be the one asking you that question. What did I do to deserve you?" She smiled and it reflects in her eyes. She's happy.

"It was so unexpected na we got close 'no?" She nodded.

"What if you did not message me kaya that day? Magiging close kaya tayo like this?" I was just curious.

I remember na before I have this Twitter account as my coping mechanism. Doon ko binubuhos yung emotions ko, frustrations and all. I was actually planning to delete my account because realization stroke me like no one is even there for me and that no one cares about what I feel and the shits I'm fighting in my head.

"Sorry pero ime-message pa rin kita." She laughed a bit.

Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip. There she was. When I thought that no one is listening, she was there. When I was on the verge of losing myself, she saved me. If it wasn't for her I don't know anymore. Ly serves as my light on the darkest days of my life.

"Weh? How sure are you?" I teased her.

"101%. Sigurado ako sayo este sa sarili ko." Tumawa siya kaya nahampas ko siya bigla.