just a young girl and her half and half future. contours of the mind swimming in possibilities and hesitations. they say what's planted in a person's soul will sprout. what do my roots offer that others' flowers don't? competing with ghosts of past and future, with people i cannot touch or see, with erratic days that seem to tick by in seconds is the worst it can get. some days i feel my grip loosening on an identity i've carefully crafted along the validating, comfortable coasts of other people's opinions. a potential created on winning and not doing the best i can. limits sowed and weaved through what others think and not who i truly am. i know it all and yet i can never stop.
maybe being loved ardently would help me better understand the world better. perhaps only through love, only through someone else's lenses can i fully know myself. maybe it is impossible to uncover my wasted potential until someone seeks it for (with) me. i do not know if it is validation i need or just enough love from someone else to finally, finally find parts of me that are not too far gone.
