Close as strangers | ᴸᵁᴷᴱ ᴴᴱᴹᴹᴵᴺᴳˁ [ENGLISH]

05 | ɪᴛ ɢᴇᴛs ᴇᴀsʏ ᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ

RUBYツ

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Mass is a masterpiece and it means the world to me that Luke remembered to bring the gift from Micheal.

I'm very, very grateful for that. Far too much, and before I could stop myself, before my head responded, I put the book on my lap and wrapped my arms around the blond Aussie, holding him like he was my anchor.

The smell of mint and a wonderful fragrance hit my nose immediately. Luke's scent.

Then I felt strong arms wrap around me, holding me.

For the first time in a very, very long time.

I'm feeling so good right now, but the moment didn't last too long because the door next to me opened and Mom appeared. Luke suddenly let go of me like he'd been burned.

Like we did something wrong.

"I was worried about you, Ruby. Come in, you're soaked through," Mom said just as I was about to open my mouth. Luke stood up and ran his fingers through his hair as he walked past her inside. He's probably looking for Ashton and Calum now.

I took the book in my hand and do not allow myself to think about his very quick departure. I shouldn't care either. Maybe I'm just too emotional about my brother's death and need to stop and then there was Luke.. And holding me.

Mom reached out to help me up, but I shook my head and stood up myself, pressing my lips together. "Will it always hurt?" I then asked her. Mom's expression went very soft, then sadness swept over it. "Oh my darling, I miss him too," then she pulled me into her arms, but I knew she was doing it just because she didn't want me to see her tears.

I don't understand if tears aren't a bad thing. You don't have to be ashamed of it at all.

It's natural, but Mom just wanted to be the stronger one at that moment, even if her shoulders were shaking slightly.

"I love you, little one," she said as she pulled away. I forced myself to smile for her. "And no," she quietly wiped away her tears and then looked at me, just taking deep breaths in and out .

"It will eventually be easy. Someday.. Can we move on. Just not now. Now we're allowed to hate the whole world, Ruby, as long as we don't lose ourselves in it."

ꨁ ꨁ ꨁ

Most of the guests had already left when I came down the stairs, fresh in sweatpants, a white shirt and barefoot. No makeup on my face, my hair is in a pretty messy bun, but I really don't care.

My way leads to the kitchen.

Ashton sat at the table and my friend Grace across from me. The two seemed to be having a good time. My best friend's blonde hair is down and hung in curls over her shoulder, a small smile tugging at her lips. This view.

The way Grace looks at Ashton with those blue eyes.. oh my god.

I raised an eyebrow and went to the fridge to open it.

"How are you?" Apparently Grace noticed that I entered the room. I leaned against the counter when I took a coke from the fridge and looked at her. Ashton on the other hand just got out his cell phone and typed something.

"I'm fine," I lied.

How am I supposed to be, seriously?

I'm not feeling well, I'm drained and I hate the world like mom said I do because I really do. Grace seems to know this is a lie because she suddenly gave me a sympathetic look, then stood up.

Then Ashton lifted his eyes and looked at me.

"Ruby," he began, but was interrupted by Luke, who was in the kitchen. "We should go, Ash. Where's Calum?"

When our eyes met, I looked away.

I just couldn't help it.

"I'll be right there. Calum's in the living room," the drummer replied, walking up to Grace and hand-squeezing something white before giving me a quick hug. Firm.

"Ash," I breathed. "I can't breathe."

"I'm sorry," he said, breaking away and walking over to Luke, who left the kitchen with him.

And with it my life again.