makligr, httyd

xx. yrsa's dangerous secret

𖣯 ✹ 🌷(makligr) ꏍ ！┈─❟
╰───►chapter twenty; yrsa
❝ yrsa's dangerous secret! ❞

    AT NIGHT, Helrose blended in with the clouds and stars like she was apart of the velvet sky itself. Yrsa always found flying at night something rather peaceful━where the ocean was as black as the sky, gently brushing amongst itself; its sound and its smell the only thing letting her know it was there below her. Even if she couldn't see as well as she might in the day, the moon became her guide, reflecting down upon the waves like a pathway made just for her.

     She welcomed it after such a grave conversation with Heather. Yrsa frowned at her fingers that fiddled with the edge of Helrose's saddle, swallowing down the bile in her throat that only churned in the pit of her stomach. She would have to go back to Dragon's Edge after telling Hiccup she and Astrid were heading to Berk, and then lie right to his face. 

     It's the best way to do this, she reminded herself. But it wasn't her voice, it was Heather's━constantly persuading her she was doing the right thing; making the right choice by leaving Hiccup out of the loop. It was getting harder and harder by each piece of information Heather passed on━coming up with excuses about how they learnt it, and from who. It was easier that Johann knew of their predicament, aiding with the lie if Hiccup ever asked. But Yrsa knew he was suspicious. He could tell something wasn't right━with her, specifically. It was so hard to lie and disguise how she felt to him, he could just see right through her, and she liked that he could do that; he was one of the only one she liked letting in. She hated pushing him away. 

     A blue Deadly Nadder flew into a comfortable glide beside her. Yrsa glanced over and Astrid sent her a small smile, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Still, she asked, "You okay?"

     Yrsa shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she said: "He's going to find out."

     Astrid pursed her lips. "He hasn't found out yet," she tried to be positive.

     Yrsa couldn't be positive. All she felt was shame. She went back to fiddling with her saddle━she's had to ask Hiccup to repair it far too many times from how much she's been tugging at the fraying ends. In a vulnerable, soft voice, Yrsa mumbled: "Do you think he'll hate me when he finds out?"

     Her best friend stared at her━she looked very sad; Yrsa couldn't bear to meet it. "Yrs ..." she whispered, but her voice carried in the wind to her ears. "You honestly don't think that, do you?"

      Yrsa shrugged, glum. She picked a fraying end off and let it fly away into the night. "A lot of people hate me," she said in the same mumble. "I'm very hatable..."

     "You're not," Astrid said, sounding rather emotional. "Gods, Yrsa, you're far from that. You're loyal, and you're generous, and you'd do anything for anybody in our team━you care so much ... there's nothing hatable about that. Hiccup could never hate you. If he found out ... well, we'd both know he'd be angry for a little while, but he'll understand. And it'll be back to normal because he cares about you━so much, Yrsa. More than I think you even realise."

     She made a shy face at that, her lips puckering as she hunched up, not expecting Astrid to say that so strongly━like she truly did believe that. Yrsa smiled, sheepish, a lump forming in her throat. Everyone always told her she was mean, and she was inconsiderate, and that she didn't have a kind bone in her crazy body ... and yet here Astrid was, telling her she was so very far from that. It really made Yrsa want to believe it herself ... and make everyone else see it, too.