Overcast | ✓

Poison

When I got home, I cried, and I'm still not sure why. Everything, I guess. Everything with Maeve and Ruby and Faye's mom and the burn on my arm and the fact that Faye still hadn't replied to my texts. It had been almost two hours since I left her house. Was that it? Am I completely alone now?

I didn't get out of bed until 3 PM the next day and, when I did, it was only because I was starving to death. There were no messages on my phone and it made me feel sort of sick. Should I call Faye to make sure everything is okay? Or, should I give her space? She seemed so angry last night. Maybe she doesn't want to hear from me. I made myself a grilled cheese and sat on the couch to eat. After a while, Elio joined me.

"What's wrong," he says and I sort of want to shoot myself right then.

"I just had a shit night, that's all."

"Oh," he replies. "And, your arm?"

It takes a lot in me not to laugh because, to Elio, I'm sure it looks like I've adopted his hobbies. Sorry. Not funny. Not funny at all, actually. "I burnt it at the meetup last night."

"You actually went to that?"

"Yeah... Faye wanted to collect clues, so we went. But, it was horrible. Maeve and I argued and Ruby Thompson was ignoring me for some reason and then torches got thrown into the audience and-" I raise my arm weakly. "-I just seem to have terrible luck. I'm cursed."

"You are not cursed."

"Oh yeah? Why is it that you're my only friend then? Why can't I maintain friendships?"

Elio shrugs simply. "Maybe you just find the wrong people to be friends with."

"Faye was a good friend, though."

"Was?"

I sigh and set my grilled cheese aside. "I met her mom and... she's really scary. And I think Faye didn't want me to meet her because she got really upset with me. I must've said something wrong or... I don't know." I close my eyes and tilt my head back. "I just drive everyone away. It's like I'm poisonous."

"I don't think you're poisonous, Sunny," Elio says. "I think you sometimes would rather push people away than have to build relationships with them. But, with Faye, none of that sounds like your fault. Have you tried talking to her?"

"She isn't responding to my messages."

"Then, maybe go to her house."

"I don't want her to get more upset."

"Okay, well, you'll see her tomorrow at school, right? Just talk to her then." I take a bite of grilled cheese and lean against my brother's shoulder. "Is anything else bothering you?"

"I just..." I say, but my voice starts to get very wobbly and I feel myself beginning to cry. Again. I hide my face in his shoulder and mumble, "I feel like shit." And then, I do cry. I full on sob into my little brother's arm because everything in my life is ruined. I cannot think of a single thing that is actually going well and it makes me furiously sad.

"Hey," Elio says, hugging me. "Hey... it's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

"I don't know if it will," I mumble through sobs. "I've messed up everything."

"But, you'll fix it. Everything is going to be fine."

"Okay," I say, because I can't keep talking. I can't spew out every thought onto my younger brother. All I want to do is lay in my bed and do absolutely nothing until my brain begins to ooze out of my ears. And I definitely do not want to go to school in 17 hours.

"Do you want to watch a film? The Edge of Seventeen?" He reaches over to grab the remote. "You do owe me after that stunt with bà and ông."

"I don't really feel like it," I reply quietly. "I'm a little tired."