Ghost | JAY ✓

30

30 : Confession (Why Now?)

[ PARK JONGSEONG ]

"They already made sure to leave no traces, Jupiter." Mercury spoke after putting down his phone. I nodded and looked away. I heard Mars' aggressive sigh afterwards. He came to me and tapped my shoulder,

"Today is Nara's-"

"I know." I cut him off before he could even finish his sentence. I left the basement and went to my car.

I clenched my jaw when I noticed a black sedan following behind me, "You really won't stay still, huh?" I turned on the engine and drove away.

I squinted my eyes as I stared at the empty memorial park. I gripped the flower bouquet and went outside my car.

I walked through a few tombstones until I saw her name. 

In Loving Memory of Kwon Nara. 

I swallowed hard before squatting on the ground. My lips formed into a slight smile as I caressed her name, "How are you?"

"I missed you already, Nara. It's been years but I can't still forget the pain you left to me." I bit my lower lip when I started to feel a stinging sensation around my eyes, "I do hope you're happy wherever you are right now. I'm sorry I lack-"

I scoffed and looked away, "Right... you don't want me to blame myself."

"Anyways... happy birthday. If only you're still alive, me and the boys would have thrown a party already. Remember when we were in junior high? You cried when you saw Sunghoon and Heeseung fighting, and then you cried more when you found out that it was just a prank." I laughed.

"You ignored us for days because of that. We were just putting up a show to spice up our surprise party for you but it didn't turn out great. It was all Sunghoon's stupid idea."

I paused and licked my lower lip. "To be honest, Nara... I am also here to confess something."

I took a deep breath and stared at the reflection of the woman standing behind me through Nara's glass tombstone, "I actually like... someone."

"I was confused at first because she looks exactly like you and I don't want to like her just because she reminds me of you. But now... I am sure already..."

"I like you, Miu." I stood up and turned around. Miu's body froze. She took a step backwards and looked around,

"Me?" She pointed herself, a surprised expression plastered on her face.

I chuckled and walked towards her. "Are you seeing anyone else here aside from the two of us?"

She swallowed hard and blinked twice before fixing herself, "Well..."

I pursed my lips and looked down, "I am sorry for confusing you. For saying hurtful words before... I didn't mean it. I was just... afraid that I might fall for you."

I was afraid to fall in love again. My mind was full of what ifs. What if I'll lose my love again? What if I'll go through the same pain I felt when I lost Nara?

What if...

What if I'll lose Miu?

I don't think I can bear it. I can't bear going through the same pain again. I will only lose myself.

I looked up only to see her staring at me without a hint of emotion in her eyes. I got nervous when she abruptly took a step forward towards me. My mouth slightly opened at the next thing she did.

Her palm harshly landed on my right cheek,

"I hate you."

"Why does it have to be now? Why do you have to confess now? Now that... I am already doubting you, Park Jongseong."