Speak Quietly

Chapter Nine- Clorox Drenched Sheets

“I don’t understand, she was awake just a minute ago.” I heard Joseph’s worried voice speak. I opened my eyes to see a doctor right in front of my face. I sprung up quickly.

“I-I’m sorry. I must have dozed off. I’ve been really tired, lately.” I smiled shyly, sort of embarrassed.

“That’s understandable.” the doctor said, staring intently at the documents in her hand. She sat down at the nearest computer and started to type information in furiously. An awkward silence surrounded us, it almost set a heaviness to the air.

“So, when’s the earliest I can bring Allyson back home?” Joseph asked, breaking the stillness. The doctor never looked up from her computer, absolutely no damn acknowledgment to him.

“Excuse me, but, he asked you a question.” I tried to contain my sudden anger. She abruptly stopped typing and stood up, stomping away in her disgustingly purple high heels.

“A nurse will be with you, soon.” She stated with an attitude, never looking back. She was acting as if we were a nuisance. This is a fucking hospital, for God sakes. Joseph put his hand on my back before heading out of the room, yet again leaving me alone. I’m not complaining or anything, I am, in fact, used to the feeling of loneliness. We’re old friends, but at this point in time, not knowing what is wrong with me and having dealt with the trauma of my past, it is much more excruciating. As I am lying in these Clorox drenched sheets, I begin to wonder of how Crystal obtained me. Where did my mom go? What of my father, was he even in the picture? Are they dead, were they in financial trouble, what if they themselves were low-lives like Crystal and wanted a better life for me? No matter, it never gave them an excuse to drop me off in the streets. The least they could have done was gone to a church so I would have lived a better life, a Godly life. You know, like that way in the movies where the child goes through cliché troubles but ends up happy? What if God doesn’t even exist? What if He does and this is just my punishment for leading a life of nothing?

“Ms. Gray?” a nurse knocking on my door interrupted my drowning thoughts, bringing back into the terrible film my life seemed to be. I looked at the young red-headed nurse and smiled, making sure I, at least, acknowledged her presence.

“So, Ms. Gray, how are you feeling?” she asked. She seemed a little hesitant with everything she was doing while checking my vitals, she must be new.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I didn’t even bother looking her way. I wasn’t in the mood to have company, not even Josephs.

“You’re a trooper, Ms. Gray. I don’t think I could ever deal with a child, but you seem calm and collected.” She smiled my way.

“Tha-… Wait, what did you just say? Child?”

“Ms. Gray, are you okay?” She tried to grab my hand but I quickly flinched away.

“How about you tell me what the fuck is wrong with me! Now!” The nurse began to slowly back away as if I had the strength to spring out of bed and confront her face to face. I slowly laid my body down on the bed again, already feeling the waterworks coming.

“Ms. Gray, you’re pregnant. I don’t see why the doctor didn’t tell you anything. Would you like me to go get her or your family? Is there a father in the picture?”

Unhooking the machines from me, I never once glanced at the nurse who fought me to lie back down. Emotionlessly, I walked down the hallway hearing nothing but the screaming coming from inside of me. My eyes were set on one destination and one destination only. I felt my feet speed up, gaining momentum.

“Allyson?” I heard Josephs voice speak my name, he sounded confused more than anything but it was too late to turn back. I held my hands out and pushed the door open. Seconds later the alarm started to blare from above the emergency only door. One step and nothing. I stood there, admiring the silence ahead and ignoring the chaos behind me. I took one more step until I chose to skip two and fell straight down multiple flights. Pain overwhelmed me until I began to feel absolutely nothing.