Chapter Ten - "I promise."

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“I don’t care what it takes, what it costs, or what will happen! All I need is for that woman in there to wake up and our child to be healthy! Do you understand me?” Our child? In no way have him and I been even remotely romantic, aside from hugging. I hardly count a hug as a display of romanticism, it’s merely arms wrapping around one another. I see entwining ones fingers with another’s as one of the most personal and romantic displays of affection. It’s an outward expression of your inner feelings for someone. I can hug anyone and mean nothing by it, but I can’t hold someone’s hand and not feel the urge to snatch it away. An instant later, I felt my shirt be pulled up, which interrupted my thoughts, and a slight circular rubbing motion on my stomach. I wanted to open my eyes to see Joseph, to let him know I was physically okay, but I couldn’t. I was much too drained to even breathe. I felt the mask over my nose and mouth blow continuous air into my lungs, while I manually released carbon dioxide into the small dome.

“I’ll find who did this to you, Allyson. I promise you I will. I give you my word that even though this child isn’t ours, I’ll treat them like they are. I know you can’t hear me right now but… I just want to say… I- ”

My hand had a spasmodic twitch and I felt Joseph grab it quickly. Very much involuntary, but then again, I’m sure he didn’t see it as so.

“Allyson? A-Allyson? Nurse, get in here!” Joseph yelled forcefully. It was clear that he was protective over me… well, over us. I suppose I have to start counting that tiny human being inside of me, now.

“Ms. Gray, can you hear me? If you can, please open your eyes, dear.” I tried and tried but couldn’t. I longed to see reality, again, to be quite frank. A forceful pressure made me open my eyes.

“Allyson?” Joseph spoke quietly and slowly. I might have frightened him as I was just knocked out moments before, not responding. My hands clasped around my stomach, a very minimal bulge was forming. I leisurely maneuvered my gaze to Joseph, his expression screamed worry. I snapped the oxygen mask off of my pale, sunken face. Almost like they knew I was thinking of him or her, the little baby began to make tiny kicks inside of me, again. I grasped Josephs’ hands and put them right on the spot. Searing, salty tears streamed down both of our faces.

“Our little baby.” He spoke like he was losing his voice. I grabbed him and pulled him closer, moving in for a kiss until he swiftly turned away and kissed my cheek.

“Not until you are absolutely sure, Allyson Gray.” he whispered and kissed my cheek again.

“I’m sorry to interrupt this moment, but it looks like everything is going well with both of you,” she smiled at me, “but I do advise that you begin to eat more regularly. You are on the verge of malnourishment and that’s definitely not good for the baby. Three to four meals a day, Allyson.” She smiled again and put her soft hand on my knee.

“You’re free to go home, dear. Just go to the front and make an appointment for the check up on the baby.” my hands began to rest on my stomach, again, protectively. Maybe I don’t completely hate this child, maybe I’m just scared I’ll screw everything up but all I know right now is that there is another human being inside of me. I need to make their life a life worth living.

“How long have I been asleep?” I asked Joseph while the nurse was gathering her files and leaving so I could get dressed.

“Two days. You know, you gave me quite the scare.” He began to turn around as I started to change out of the hospital gown.

“Do you mind…?” I pointed to the ties in the back of my gown. He smirked and came to help. He slowly untied the double knot the nurse put in there.

“You are truly beautiful. I hope you remember that.” I began to laugh, a little too much, actually.

“I mean it, you are the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen in my life.” With each passing word, I could hear him get closer and closer to my ear, “I really do mean it.” Soft lips caressed my neck until he kissed it. A soft, light peck is all it took for me to whip around, man-handle him, and throw him onto the messy hospital sheets. Climbing on top of him, I tried to unbutton his shirt but he quickly stopped me.

“As tempting as this is, I need you to stop, Allyson. I mean it. If you will, please stand up.” I slowly stood up again, feeling like the most unattractive person on earth. I mean… what kind of man denies a woman literally throwing herself at him?

“I think you are beautiful and sweet and wonderful and lovely and, quite frankly, the mother to ‘our’ child, but I know you aren’t in an emotionally stable place right now. I want anything we do to be meaningful and perfect. To be quite honest,” he grabbed my hands and entangled his fingers with mine, “I think I love you. You’re on my mind all day and night. I even dream about you. I was so mad at you when you threw yourself down those fucking stairs, but then I realized I was only mad at the fact that I could have lost you. I did lose you and now I have you again. I am not going to let you hurt, in any way, shape, or form. Do you understand me?” My head was spinning, but I think I nodded in response. He dropped my hands and helped me get dressed to go home. Once I was in new clothes Joseph brought for me, we headed up to the front desk to make an appointment. The lady seemed very young, but was very kind. She printed out a reminder for us and told us to have a wonderful evening.

“Evening?” I looked over at the clock and saw it was 6:26 p.m. Joseph just snickered at me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me even closer to him than I already was. I could feel the heat radiating from his torso.

“Come on, you two. Let’s go home and get some dinner.” He kissed my cheek before escorting me to his giant white truck, which was already started and warming up. He opened the door and I was hit with immense warmth, just how I like it.

“Your chariot awaits, my dear.” He lifted me up and put me into the passenger seat. Once he closed the door, I started to look outside and saw the little flurries fall down from the sky like graceful white ballerinas.

“Let’s go home.” Joseph smiled as he turned on the car. The whole entire drive, he never once let go of my hand and my hand never left that small protruding bump where my child is growing.

“I promise to be a better caregiver and give you all the nutrients you need to grow normally. I promise to be a better mother and give you all the love you need. I promise.”  A small tear escaped from my eye during my thoughts. I really need to get used to this hormonally unstable state I’ve been in. Then after a while of living in my thoughts, something dawned on me.

“Joseph, have you ever wanted to ask me how I became with child?” I spoke very hesitantly. I didn’t exactly want to bring it up. What if this was all an act he put on, he actually doesn’t care? He grabbed my hand, started to stroke the back of it with his thumb, and spoke very clearly.

“I don’t care how it happened, Allyson. All I know is that I am going to help you raise them.” he smiled and turned up the radio.

 

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hey guys. so, totally not my favorite chapter but this is all i have. i know, i know, it's starting to get all mushy and lovey-dovey. get over it. i'll be working on this story a little bit more, now. i have millions of ideas. anywho, enjoy!

-Allie

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