Re-shaping the Universe (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Chapter 8

Present day

Dirk and Farah were already surrounded by far too many people by the time Todd arrived. he made a beeline for them, noticing when he got closer that they were covered in strange glowing fibres. Todd looked at his own arm, discovering that he had the same all over him.

"Todd! Over here!" Dirk cried. Todd pushed his way through the crowds, standing beside Dirk and Farah. "Hi, Todd. Good news, this is Jamie, we found him wandering around. Bad news... this is the rest of the world and they're pissed that we're kidnapping a child."

"But – you're not – what?! What is this place?!"

"I don't feel very well, Mr Dirk," little Jamie said softly. The hairs on him were taking over his entire body a little too much, and he was turning paler by the minute.

"Look, I don't have a clue where this place is, but I do know that he's not supposed to be here, and whatever was sent back through as us won't do so well either. And whatever is happening to him will happen to us, and that's very, very bad, so I'd rather not stick around to find out much more than how the hell we get back to our dimension."

"This is another dimension?!" Todd cried.

"Yes!" Dirk cried back.

"Alright CALM DOWN, BOTH OF YOU!" Farah yelled, and the entire body of people – including Todd and Dirk – fell silent. "Yes, this is another dimension! I saw the files when I was trying to find something on Blackwing. There was another operation happening, Operation Mildew, that got put on hold out of the blue because people kept disappearing and no-one could understand why. Some of the scientists had found other dimensions – only one person made it back through the portal alive, and he talked about these hair things."

"Long story short, we need to get out of here and fast," Dirk smiled, a little bit maniacally. "Please tell me you brought the book?!"

"I did, but –" Todd took the book from the inside of his jacket, and Dirk snatched it off him. If any of them had inspected it a little closer, they'd have found that it was filled with old CIA classifieds on this dimension phenomenon, and they could have done something sooner. Dirk flipped through the pages, and beamed.

"Got it! And no, Todd, it had nothing to do with saying a magic spell." Dirk rolled his eyes. Farah picked up little Jamie and carried him after Dirk, who set off at a quick pace along the streets. The people surrounding them all looked at Todd, who realised with a closer look that these people... well, they weren't people at all. They were grotesque, their features distorting and rippling. A hand grabbed Todd as the people surged at him.

"Dirk! What's wrong with them?!" Todd gasped, running after Dirk.

"No time – explain later – run now!"

They ran and ran, trying to find the house that Todd had come from. The book contained several maps, but it wasn't clear which dimension they were in. It was Farah's genius idea of leaving a breadcrumb trail of hidden bullets from her handgun that got them back to the house. Because of course she'd leave a breadcrumb trail of bullets from her handgun.

"We're looking for an opening – check the hairs on you, they'll try to go back through the way you came!" Dirk said quickly. Farah walked around the room with Jamie in her arms, but nothing worked.

"Dirk – magic words got us here, magic words would have to take us back, right?!"

"No, Todd! There's a glitch – I can explain better –"

"HERE! OVER HERE!" Farah cried, standing in a corner. "Here – come –"

Before she could finish her sentence, she disappeared. A cat and a desk chair stood right where she'd been. Dirk stared, open-mouthed.