The Female Wolf #Wattys2016

Chapter 18: Not everyone is loyal

I sit on my bed quietly, playing with my necklace. It's the last thing I have left of him. I lost count at a week of how long I was in here. All I can hear is Mike complaining how the wedding was a disaster and my mom trying to cheer him up with the fact that everyone still ate and thought it tasted good. But my thoughts were louder. They were pounding in my head for questions, and I plan on giving them answers.
For one I can barley move my leg since it got injured and my back still hurts. Last night I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. To make matters worst, I heard Mia scream from when they executed her. That scream echoed in my head all night. I don't know about Gus, I didn't hear his scream. But I am dying to know if Cassidy is okay. But I'm grounded. At least I was until Friday but today is Tuesday. I just choose to stay here. Why should I leave? I don't have any reasons to leave.
If I leave, who know what'll be at the other side of the door. There could be angry packs saying Mike's plan fail, there could be angry pack members yelling at me for escaping my wedding which I technically didn't do, there can be Hailey who will hit me with questions, or there could be the traders who are probably calmly sitting on the living room couch. I just don't want to face or see any of that. In my room it's quiet, and I haven't spend much time in it since I was always so busy.
And there's the wedding dress. I didn't know if my mom wanted it back or not, but I figured it didn't matter cause I didn't want it. It brings back to many harsh memories I'm not ready to face yet. So I threw it out the window. It fell into the recycling bin and when Hailey threw out the trash, she didn't even notice. She probably did but figured not to do anything about it. I'm also surprised my parents haven't came to tell me to do my chores. They still don't care if I lock myself up in my room. Probably better for them, too.
I'm also okay here. I have been eating. At first Mike got in an argument with my mom about not wanting me to come down at dinner. I could hear them screaming from my room. My mom argued how that was rude and that I was family. Hailey was the one who brought me food. She attempted to ask me a question but as soon as I got the food and drink, I slammed the door shut which caused my mom to yell at me. I don't care though. I ate in my closet. I know it sounds weird but it's comfortable and cozy.
I then brought the plates to the sink at night and went into my room. That's basically everyday now.
Someone then knocks on the door, waking me up from my thoughts. My eyes blink fast and I sit straight wondering who it could be. I mean obviously one of my parents or sister but what do they want? The person tries opening the door but fails to. It's locked. It's definitely not Hailey.
"Miranda open this door now!" My mom sounds angry. She must be tired of trying to open the door every night because I've heard her try that every night. When she stomps away, it makes me smirk. Now she knows how it feels like to be tired of not knowing answers...or in her case opening the door. She can't find the key either, cause when I was little I figured it would be best to get rid of it. My mom didn't like me to lock the door when I was little and told me if I did lock yhe door she would use the key to lock me in there all day. So I got rid of the key. She probably noticed that a week ago when she first tried to open the door.
"Miranda!" My mom yells but I don't answer. I look down at my foot which is still scraped in blood. Oh yeah, they didn't even bother asking me to go to the hospital. Mike took the pack to the hospital but obviously that didn't include his daughter. Anyway, I can't open the door because of my foot. I haven't for the last two days when they come to give me food. I have a feeling my mom is at the door instead of Hailey. I hear her sigh. "Cassidy is here to see you." That's new. She usually counts to three. Guess she figured she wouldn't be able to find that key so what was the point.
I look out the window to see if that's true and see her red truck out in the driveway. I wondered why my mom didn't just tell Cassidy that I'm grounded.
"Bring her up." I command and my mom walks down the stairs. Then I hear a lighter knock.
"Miranda?" It's Cassidy's voice. I have to open the door. I reach as far as I can and unlock the door. Cassidy opens it and enter.
"Shut the door." I demand and Cassidy does it. She also locks it. "Are you okay?" I ask her and she nods.
"Listen Miranda I would of came to talk to you sooner but first you were grounded and then.." She sighs. She shakes her head. "Miranda if I knew you and Jake were a thing, I would of never said what I said when we fought in the forest."
"It's not your fault." I shake my head.
"But I feel like it is. I feel terrible that I said you had to be more active in the pack when really you were just worrying about someone you care about." Cassidy admits. "And that's been haunting me since the battle. If I knew you liked him then I would of supported you not you and Gus-"
"Cassidy, really. It's fine. We all make mistakes." I tell her.
"Yeah but I screwed up good."
"So did I." I look down at my infinity necklace and touch it. "Jake had to die in order for me to realize that I loved him." I swallow hard and hold my tears in. I look at Cassidy. "You don't know how hard it is for me to sit here on my bed, thinking about what a mistake I am and how I don't want to make people suffer for my mistakes anymore."
"You're not a mistake-"
"Yeah I am. Even my parents refuse to let me eat at the dining table!" I point at the door and my voice cracks. Cassidy hesitates.
"They're just upset. Plus your mom told me you have been in there more than a week because you want to." She points out. I shrug.
"Because I need to be here. In here it's safe for me and for others." I confess and look at my injured leg. "In here I have time to think about how I can fix my mistakes and block everyone out. In here I won't hurt anyone."
"Miranda I can't let you just rot inside your bedroom. I know this is hard for you but honestly it's hard for everyone. We all need each other and maybe together-"
"No." I interrupt. "I need time, Cassidy." Cassidy doesn't understand. She doesn't get it. "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now." Cassidy hesitates but decided to get off my bed.
"One more thing, I have been talking to a few people, and I'm not sure yet, I mean, there is a possibility..."
I look up at her. "Spill it." I demand. Cassidy stares at me for a minute.
"Jake might not be dead."