Do You Love Me?

Prologue

Y/N Y/L/N. That's my name. Named by my parents. Both narcissistic, conceited and totally ignorant humans.

Humans.

What is the definition of being human, figuratively?

My parents don't deserve that label. How could anyone so sick and twisted in any world be human? They're monsters. Absolute monsters.

Or at least they were.

I killed them. With my bare hands.

Brutally. Slowly. Relentlessly.

I shouldn't really be blamed. They deserved it. After all they've caused me eternal suffering, through the memories and the ongoing nightmares.

Fuck them.

I don't doubt for a second that people think I'm just as sick and twisted as they were.

I was just 10 years old, they trafficked me, sold me to an establishment that tortured children. Tortured them to become assassins. Tortured them to become cold. Worse than what most people know as The Red Room. By far, worse.

If ever I'm asked a question about evil, I will always compare it to my parents, and the establishment. Innocence ripped from children. For years.

I got out as soon as I could. Packed a bag and hopped onto a plane heading for New York. All the way from England. They weren't going to find me there. Not where I could blend in.

My aim was to try and end that life, all of the killing, all of the deaths and all of the blood. The plan failed obviously.

I guess it goes without saying, once a villain, always a villain.

I was involved with a sort of group. A gang. HYDRA is what they called themselves. I did what I do best and killed people. Killed, robbed and tortured. Innocent people. Pure people.

Did I leave?

Not exactly.

I'm still in it.

Instead I run it.

Since running it, I changed some things. My dad was completely Turkish, which made me half. Aside from English, it's the language I knew best. Everyone within the group was taught Turkish, we also recruited Turkish-speaking soldiers and changed the name to Alevler Evi. Translates to house of flames. That suited us.

Some people actually approached us to join. Those who pitied us, saw us for what we were underneath all the chaos. Broken people with masses of trauma.

I don't ask for pity. I don't need it. Especially from people who know nothing about what I've been through. They act like they understand but they don't know the half of it.

What I've been through, and the majority of Alevler Evi have been through, is incomparable.

It completed drained us of any emotion. Any good, pleasant feeling. We don't feel happiness, or joy.

Not even love.

Only the negatives, anger, sadness and betrayal.

Sure some of us are married, but only to blend in. Not for love. We don't know what it is. We've even agreed that It's not actually possible for us to feel love. Or any positive emotion for that matter.

Only satisfaction, when we finish our mission. When we get the kill. When we receive the information. Pure satisfaction.