Wildfire - Tormund Giantsbane

Chapter 19

The Wall got closer as Jon, Tormund, the Hardhome survivors, the giant named Wun Wun and I stopped before it. Alliser looked down at the group and Jon stepped forward, the older Night's Watch brother stared for a moment before shouting for them to open the gates.

The lower gate was lifted. Tormund took my hand and we continued to enter Castle Black. The Hardhome wildlings were being escorted through the crow's nest. I excused myself from Tormund, telling him to go on without me for a moment as I walked towards Jon. I could feel many men of the Nights Watch glaring at Jon, Olly exchanged a long look with Jon from the top of the stairs. Alliser Thorne made his way down the steps to the Lord Commander.

"You have a good heart, Jon Snow. It will get us all killed." He hissed. The man left and I stood next to Jon, watching the bitter man. "I do not trust him."

"Why do you say that, Y/n?"

"I was surrounded my whole life by men like him and know to trust my gut. Watch your back, Jon Snow." I left, searching for Tormund. For the next few days, we prepared for the Free Folk to make temporary camps in the forestlands around the Wall and Castle Black.

I walked through the trees, searching for wood for the fire as my thoughts clouded my mind with the gut-clenching screams of the Hardhome victims. The image of them being murdered by the wights and becoming ones after haunted me everywhere I went. Consumed in my head, I did not hear footsteps approaching me from behind until a hand gripped my shoulder, and I quickly turned, swinging a branch I picked up.

"I surrender!" Tormund laughed, taking the wood weapon from me and the rest from my arms before setting it back down on the ground. "You seem distracted since we left Hardhome. What is wrong?"

"It is nothing." I made my way to pick the sticks up, but Tormund stopped me by holding my hand and the other on my cheek, making our eyes connect. "You are mine, as I am yours, whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me."

"I couldn't save them all." I breathed out, finally admitting it.

"Neither of us could. It is not your fault." He moved his hand to my hair, but I yanked it away. "We gave the fucking Night King his army, Tormund! Innocent men, women, and children-" I struggled to form the word as I remembered how Karsi died. She was standing before a group of dead children and refused to fight them, causing her to lose her life.

"I know, it breaks my heart every time I think about it too." Tormund pulled me to his chest as tears fell hard down my cheeks and I sobbed into his furs, not caring that I was making a mess.

"Do you miss her? Your wife?" I never asked him about her before and when I heard him talking about Jon being prettier than his daughters, it got me thinking. Tormund shifted to get a better look at me as we lay on the floor of our tent, in each other's arms, naked. I played with his red chest hair as I used his chest as a pillow. "I do, but that is the way of the Far North, you could lose anyone in a second."

"What about your children? Where are they?"

"My daughters are safe, I hope. I had a son, a scrawny lad. We lost him when he was six or seven to the cold."

"I am sorry." Tormund smiled sadly, cupping my face and kissing me gently, whispering that it happened a long time ago and I should not worry about it. He continued to tell me about how he met his first wife. They grew up on the same camping grounds, she was a year younger and the second most stubborn woman he ever met, me being the first. I slapped his shoulder as he laughed, she never took any man's shit and beat anyone who dared mess with her.

"She wasn't the most beautiful, dark hair and a scary face, when she looked at you, it looks like she wants to gut you alive and make you eat your liver. The way she devoured a piece of meat in one go, made me hard, and then I persuade her, luckily for me, she liked me back."