~ One Shots ~

Cordelia Goode ✨🔮 〜 I need help

{A/N: Yeah, another one shot with Cordelia... But I wrote this one because I had to deal with my social anxiety a lot these past few weeks and it really wasn't easy. And like in the one shot, it's my fav teacher who helped me deal with it. So anyway, enjoy!}

TW: slight SH, talk about anxiety

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"It's gonna be okay. Stop worrying. You're gonna be just fine..."

"No you're not! Look around you, do you really think you're gonna
be okay? Just give up already!"

"Shut up!! Why can't it be quiet..."

    Feeling the hot water of the shower raining on your face, you finally opened your eyes, not being able to be in your head anymore. You were just overthinking and you knew it, but somehow you couldn't quiet down your thoughts like you used to do. They were so loud, you had to listen to them fight constantly. And your social anxiety was kicking in to add on top of it.

A big event was coming and since the moment it was presented to you, you felt anxious all the time. And you were doing so good in the last few months! You had been able to calm your anxiety with the help of someone important to you and you were the happiest you could ever be. But you never thought the drop would arrive so soon...

    Hugging your knees to your chest, you tried to find a way to quiet your thoughts. Anything would do, you were so desperate to find peace with yourself again. But you didn't want to tell Cordelia though, she saw you made so much progress, she'd be so disappointed of you if she knew that it was all for nothing. You thought of hurting yourself and even if this idea was really tempting, you knew it wouldn't help. After the relief, the pain would kick in even harder, you knew that wasn't an option.

    Before you could think of anything else, you heard a knock on the bathroom's door and a 'Y/n, are you done yet?!' It was Maddison, you both shared the same bathroom for you greatest displeasure. She had never been nice with you so you tried to avoid her as much as possible, but living in the same house and sharing the same bathroom wasn't helping at all.

You got up from the floor and said a 'Yes!' loud enough so she could hear. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped a towel around your body and you unlocked Maddison's door so she could have access to the bathroom.

—

    You were sat at the table, along with everybody else except Maddison who you were all waiting for before starting to eat your breakfast. Everyone was having a conversation with their neighbour except you, you tried to put your attention on the loud conversations instead of listening to the fight in your head.

You were looking down at your plate, taping the food in it with your fork. That was something you often did, concentrating your anxiety on one thing like playing with your food or fidgeting your pencil. You often had a shaky leg when your anxiety was too much and today didn't make exception.

    Finally, Maddison came in the dining room with a glacial look directed at you, but you couldn't see it. You didn't dare to look elsewhere than your plate. Maddison sat in front of you at the same time Cordelia said 'You are late Maddison, we were waiting for you.' with a very calming tone.

"Certainly not because of someone taking too long in the shower." Maddison said in the same bitchy way she always talks to you.

    You could feel the eyes of everyone on you. The silence was heavy and so was the weight on your chest. Like an automatism, you dug your nails into your left palm, which was hidden under the table. The silence only made it harder for you not to listen to those voices in your head that were constantly fighting.