Not Set In Stone

Making Amends

It was with a silent frown that Lizzie watched you sleep in the hospital chair; you had your head slumped on your hand as you were at your mother's bedside. Why would Lizzie be frowning about such a display? It was because you had refused to leave your mother's side since you were able to visit, only now just getting some rest as you stayed awake for as long as you could but your eyes grew heavy and you passed out. Lizzie had to catch you as you nearly collapsed seeing you were standing up at that time, pacing with concern until fatigue overwhelmed you.

Lizzie was frowning because you refused to rest until you had no choice, she was frowning when she should be happy about you showing concern for someone. You haven't been asleep long by this point, it must have been a few minutes but then there was a groan from the hospital bed as your mother began to wake up, this also stirred you to consciousness and you were quickly on your feet and to her bedside while stumbling a little.

"Mum! Are you ok?" You asked with concern as your mother regained lucidity, asking where she was as you explained that she was in the hospital, that you and Lizzie had found her passed out on the floor and in a bad state. "You had alcohol poisoning, they barely saved you" you said as your mother turned to face you, eyes clearing up as she saw your face.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" She asked and you countered by asking why you wouldn't be there. "I found you on the floor, you had alcohol poisoning so why wouldn't I be here? Damn it, how much have you been drinking?!" You demanded as Lizzie went to step to your side but your mother answered first, asking why it mattered and you stepped back with an incredulous look on your face as you repeated to your mother that she could have died from how much she had been drinking.

"I found you on the floor, you nearly died, how much have you been drinking?!" You repeated as a demand this time but your mother just turned her head away, she didn't even respond verbally and you clenched your fists. "Answer me, damn it!" You shouted, making both your mother and Lizzie jump as they looked at you. They saw the expression on your face; you looked ready to cry but you were trying to keep up a facade, just like before.

Lizzie went to step forward but you stopped her, telling her not to bother as you headed towards the door. There you paused and looked back at your mother as she laid in the hospital bed.

"You nearly died, had Lizzie not convinced me to try and talk to you again then you could have been gone by time anyone else found you, she saved your life" you said before leaving the room, you needed some air so you left the hospital just to stand outside but your legs crumbled and you slumped down against the wall. You wanted to fix things with your mother but she wasn't helping, why did it have to be so difficult?

"Is this my fault?" You asked yourself as you sat against the wall. For years you have been a trouble maker, you've committed crimes and completely disregarded any authority that wasn't from J.C, was it your fault that things were so fractured now? It had to be. It was a hard truth to accept but all actions have consequences, you had to face many.

These thoughts plagued your mind for a few minutes until you noticed someone approaching and so looked to see Lizzie standing at your side. "Are you ok?" She asked but you didn't answer, you just remained silent as she knelt to your side and hugged you. You didn't know what you were meant to do about it all, you didn't know how to fix things, "I screwed everything up haven't I? Mum hates me doesn't she?" You asked as Lizzie held you, replying how that was not the case but you scoffed. You wished you could be as optimistic as she was.

"Why don't you come back inside and talk to her?" Lizzie asked but you shook your head and said there was no point, things couldn't be fixed. "I've eluded consequences a lot, she always bailed me out with the police only for me to fuck up again, this is long overdue" you said before saying that you should just head back to her place. But Lizzie refused that.