!DISCONTINUED! ♡ Paper Planes. [DEATHSHIPPING]

11 | I Wish

Time passed through the air too quickly.

Well, maybe that was only because when you almost kiss your best friend, it can get awkward all too fast. Ryou and Marikuu hadn't talked in days, and despite the two young and embarrassed males knowing that they were bound to have the nerve-wracking conversation at some time, they didn't desire for it to be now. If the two even had a sharing opinion on the previous situation, it'd be that they knew one thing.

They both wanted it. They both wanted their lips to collide with the others, even if it was just for a few minutes. Maybe even just 10 seconds. Ryou and Marikuu just desired for each other, was all. Why did that have to be such a crime? Such a villainous hassle? Was all Ryou could think about as he stared up to his pale, white roof being covered with soft green glow-in-the-dark stars. His once known as to be elegant, brown eyes were now ruffled and puffy, tears practically tearing its beauty to little shreds. White fluff was everywhere, covering his red and soggy face as he sniffled in ponder. 

Why do you make me feel like this? Why can't I even feel like this without questioning and feeling guilty?

Ryou shoved his porcelain doll-like hands into his face, wiping his soaked eyes, trying to swallow the lump in his throat threatening to make his eyes soak even more. Of course his very first experience of being gay and liking another boy had to turn out this way. Marikuu must've hated him now, that was probably why they hadn't even muttered a word to one another.

The one time Ryou thought he had finally found the person who broke him from his border of being alone and isolated, had left him as quickly as they came. It felt like getting a warm fire on a freezing winter night, only for it to be suddenly snatched and you're left to slumber as an icicle. In fact, Ryou felt an entire shiver go down his spine despite the 2-3 heavy blankets resting on his shuttering body. He realized that these tears couldn't be stopped, just like the other ones, as he closed his exhausted eyes and let the saddening exercise take him over. Tears made their way down his doe-like face, as he didn't even make a single sound.

It's your fault. Again.

Not only did he miss his best friend, but he missed Bakura. Yes, Bakura was always at home with him, but he was quiet. Always isolated. Distant. It was nearly convincing that the poor guy only really came out of his bedroom to use the loo. From what Ryou had investigated, Bakura didn't eat a whole lot either. Snacks were snatched here and there, but usually the two siblings would eat their supper together. Tell each other how their days were, laugh about details and stories only 16 year old boys would find humor in, and sometimes argue, which would end in Bakura flinging a spoon or forkful of his food at Ryou. Even so, it always looked as if he'd purposely miss and hit the wall or ceiling instead.

Maybe all the crying was making his memory fog, but Ryou couldn't remember the last time him and Bakura had even sat down at that table together. 

Even though they never had a close bond, Marik hadn't seemed to be in social view either. Even the high school building and its crowds of hormones and sweat seemed to have hidden the Egyptian teenager. And it wasn't like all of the Ishtars were missing, because you could see Ishizu and Odion lurking around to the restroom or their classes whenever they needed to. However, considering Ryou and the fact that he really was only comfortable with speaking to the presence of his brother or Marikuu, (which could be odd but amusing in some views), he could never bother himself enough to tap at one of them and ask where their second-youngest brother had gone. 

And yet, though Ryou knew fully that Marik wasn't his main problem, the boy couldn't help but beat himself over it like he committed a crime. Perhaps that was also another reason he lay resided in his bed, weeping until his beautiful dirty brown eyes would go dull. 

It's your fault. Again.

Though he wanted to keep them clamped tight forever, Ryou opened his broken eyes and scanned his unusually dirty bedroom. With a blink, he trained his glossy eyes over to his analog clock, and read it with no shock whatsoever. 2:57 AM. A shaky, crack-y sigh shivered out of his mouth in response, resting his weary and wailing umber eyes once more.

The sobs could barely be heard nor felt anymore, and despite how saddening that could be, Ryou found a nonchalant comfort in such a reflex. Suddenly, after just a few moments of pure silence with the few cut-ins of sniffling, Ryou felt a nostalgic, childish emotion fill his chest and head. Something that was momentarily fighting off the self-degradation and guilt. Something familiar. A part of him that may have never left him throughout all of these years of growth, a trait. As if this figment knew of Ryou's fluffy demeanor but confusion, memories of a once happy childhood began to fade into a previously dark, disheartened mind.

;;

"What are you doing?" A faintly deeper voice from Ryou's interrupted his focus, along with a slight shake of his right shoulder. 

Ryou opened one of his eyes, peering over to the disturbance, only to discover it was his older brother, Bakura. His head was slightly cocked, his fluffy but tangled pearl hair going with it. Mahogany eyes filled with nothing but puzzlement met with Ryou's, one of Bakura's eyebrows raised. His eyes were weirdly mature, for a boy only 6 years old.

"Ryou?" two small and pale fingers began to snap in the previous named boys direction, "Sherit? Earth to Ryou?? Ugh, you leave me too easily.."

Ryou frantically shook his head right and left to focus back on reality, before returning back to Bakura's attention. This time, with both of his eyes opened. 

Without another mumble of a joking insult, Bakura asked his question once more, his tone becoming almost regarding. "What were you doing?? You had your hands together and both of your eyes were closed, I tried getting your attention but you wouldn't listen to me!"

Ryou blinked once. Twice. Realization hitting the child, blush of embarrassment plagued his childish features as a smile of solid joy mixed with awkwardness appeared as well. His bronze eyes retreated to the side of him, as Bakura's eyebrows raised in (pretend) disbelief. Feeling like all of his concern was washed away like a rushing river, he spoke again.

"Were you wishing again!? Gods Ryou you're so dumb, why do you do that every time we see the fireworks with everyone?"

The smile on Ryou's face was replaced with a frown of thought. Though he knew the answer, he still let his young brain ponder and search for one. With a blink, and a light-bulb practically lighting up above his head, he gazed back to his brother.

"Well, mummy said wishing means you get what you ask for. But, she also told me not to be selfish and wish for something just for me! Soo.. every time we're all together, I wish." Ryou's eyes glanced back to the beautiful, bright fireworks in the inky night sky in front of the two boys. 

"What do you wish for?? Come on you gotta tell me now!"

A small, soft laugh fell from Ryou's lips, "No, Bakura! They don't come true if they're said out loud!"

"Fiiiiine..." Bakura purposely dragged his word out, before slowly and mischievously sneaking his hands to his younger brothers hips and frantically tickling them.

"Tell me!! Tell meeeee!!"

"Nooooo-! Neveeeerrr!!"

The secret was that Ryou always wished for the family to be okay. For his mother and father to live a long, happy marriage along with a long and happy life to watch their children grow. For Amane to one day be able to reach the counters like her two bigger brothers could. For Bakura to smile all the time, instead of rare glimpses only mother would catch. A wish to be made every year where the annual nightly fireworks would be sparked in their town, the same night when Ryou was just 4 years old. His mother held him onto her lap, as Ryou was scared of the loud noises and pictures in the sky at first. The night where, to cheer Ryou up,

His mother told him the magic of wishing.

;;

The memory faded out like the ending to a movie, along with its happy and warm feeling. Despite the depressing feeling filling Ryou's body once more in a "Honey, I'm home!" manner, his slick eyes of tears opened. A smile, a smile so faint and soft appeared onto his features, remembering the now vanished remembrance of his childhood before everything crashed into pieces.

And then, it came to him.

Wishing.

Ryou, slowly and with care, sat up from his laying of shame and brought his shaky, weak hands together in a clasp. Eyes now looking down at his legs, Ryou closed them, knowing this action released more tears down his gentle face. Though his eyes were no longer open, his smile remained. With a trembly inhale of his nose, and a woozy exhale from his mouth, he did it.

3:12 AM.

I wish for everything to become okay soon. For Marik to answer. For Bakura to be able to poke fun at me again. And, tears filling his eyes once more and a sniffle barking from his nose,

for Marikuu to look at me the same again.


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A/N
FINALLY DID IT AGAIN! At 5 in the morning on a Saturday (now Sunday).
When I decided to write this a couple hours ago, I initially wanted to make Ryous POV short and switch to Marikuus. However, after typing out exactly what the point of view for Ryou even was, I came to the sudden realization that maybe I shouldn't. So, despite the filler after these couple weeks spaced from the last chapter, I made a smart decision. Right? Please don't be mad.
I hope you enjoyed!

(1700 words)