It's just going on 2am and I still can't sleep. I should have known taking that nap would bite me in the ass later. I feel like I should try and force myself to sleep because I have church at 11am tomorrow and I have to get ready for that but I normally end up staring at the wall for 20 mins then thinking "well if I go to bed in an hour or so i'll have 6-7 hours to sleep so that's ok.."
Yeah no, I always tell myself that shit and it backfires almost- no it always fails me.
Dad didn't have anything to drink at home so I haven't had anything since about 11am yesterday, I'm passing the time running my finger over my dry lips(we do have cola but the stuff is like acid going down your throat) Jesus my back hurts too.
Maybe I am getting tired, my mind is singing the song 'Asleep'. That's by "The Smiths", Charlie says its good music, I honestly wonder if my brother likes that kind of music, do you think I should play it for him when he comes over? Anyways I normally think of that song before I fall asleep.. Before it was Skinny Love by Bon Iver but because of watching a fan made video on Tom Branson and Lady Sybil from Downton Abbey involving that song it's become too much to listen to. I get swallowed in emotions and who the hell needs that at 2am?- no body.
Don't make me go to sleep, I hate it so much. I'm always thinking and it never stops, always thinking about tomorrow or the next day.. Or the next day. Always have to plan for what might happen and how I'll handle it can't just be normal and do things right, it would lower my stress by like a billion. I normally take a sleeping pill so it knocks me out but I used them for my nap, I felt sleep coming on so I probably didn't need them but whatever.
Going to see if I can sleep, maybe.
