Le Parole Lontane (Distant Words)

Chapter 12 - Kick-Starter

Note: This chapter is unedited.

"But I don't believe that the future gives us signs. I think that we look back and read the past with the present in our eyes."
— Cath Crowley, Words in Deep Blue

Nürburg, Germany, 3rd of June 2022

Smudged makeup and tears are gloriously adorning my face. The small dirty mirror in front of me seems like it stopped wanting to reflect my true reality. I place my palm on it in a desperate attempt to feel something colder than my boiling blood and, maybe a shy try to figure out if there's any chance I could transport myself to another dimension where I don't have to cry in a random bathroom from a stadium after running away.

In fact, I tend to believe that finding out the truth was the main reason of my childish behavior. This morning Damiano sat with me after soundcheck and decided to spill out everything I wanted to know about his disappearance.

"Vic, please, open the door!" I hear Thomas from the other side.

Damn, that was fast. I have no idea how my little brother always manages to find me, but I'm quite impressed of his skills.

"I know you're there," he continues. "I looked up all the arena."

I must admit he is quite determined. I'm pretty sure that my silent act won't stop him from breaking the door.

"Thommy, give me a moment," I decide to say, trying to save myself some more alone time.

"Alright." His tone is still insistent. "I'm here just so you know, okay?"

"Yes, I know, Thomas."

Deep breaths, that's all I should focus myself on. But, my mind decides to rewind every single thing previously discussed with Damiano.

"I'm sorry," he told me. "But someone has to do it. I can't let things like this, Vic. I'm aware of what you've been through and I know you don't wanna talk about it, neither I'm gonna ask you to do it, but all I want is for you to trust me with this."

"I want this to end, Damiano." I told him frustrated. "I don't agree with you or anybody else going after those men. It's over."

"You don't get it." He looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes, mixed with the most confusing feelings. "I'm not implicating you in this. Someone who abused a woman once won't stop after one night."

I was aware that he didn't intend to hurt me, yet his affirmation cut in my festering wounds like a blade.

"And now you're playing vigilante?" I shouted in his face. "How about Ethan? He's your partner in crimes?"

"Ethan is helping me. All operations need a sharp mind."

"At least you're admitting that you're stupid," I mumbled.

I had no idea what were his intentions, but I was pretty aware of the fact that once Damiano wants to do something I can't stop him.

"Going after my rapists." I fought hard to mouth the words as they kept on getting stuck in my throat, weighing me down with the pain of that cursed night. "This won't bring you any satisfaction, only suffering. You're not doing any justice, Damiano, you're just deepening us all into a moment that I've been trying to forget since it happened."