Le Parole Lontane (Distant Words)

Chapter 4 - Aftermath

Note: This chapter is unedited.
Trigger warnings: mentions of rape.

"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."
— Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss

Cologne, Germany, 26th of May 2022

When Damiano found me it was too late for anything. Laying on the cold floor, desperately waiting for my life to drift away from my body. Nothing remained out of me, just a pitiful shadow who was remembering the tribulations of a nightmare which turned into a brutally inhuman reality.

No words went out of his mouth as he was picking up the remains of what was my outfit. Pieces of cloth tore down by the disgusting face of mankind. A side of our nature we choose to ignore, only it exists vividly, following women to the bathrooms and stripping them off of their dignity.

"I want to feel your heartbeat." This was the only phrase I could voice to him in that moment.

It was my wish, to acknowledge the small movement of his heart under my cold fingers. I wanted to know that he's not dead inside as I am.

For a second our gazes met and I saw how, despite his good act, Damiano was breaking into a million pieces. He took my hand, placing it on his chest accompanied by a short sigh. Then, his arms wrapped around my fragile body, lifting me up, taking me far away from the death scene of my own self.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll take care of you and..."

I had no idea what he wanted to say, the only thing I knew was that I was finally at peace in his warm embrace, far from any possible danger. My eyes closed in one desperate attempt of my body to preserve me in this world for as long as possible.

The rest happened like in a dream, better said, a nightmare. I wasn't sure if I fainted or I was sleeping. I had no idea about my surroundings and, in the moment when I heard them like they were miles away from me, I knew that I lost contact with reality.

Touches. Voices. Even arguments. I started experiencing those again, but this time, they were coming from the people that I knew will never hurt me.

They cleaned me. I felt Thomas' thin fingers on my skin, slowly caressing my hand while the other two were taking care of worst parts of my body.

"What they did to her?" Thomas asked with a hint of anger in his usually calm voice.

"Not now, Thomas." Ethan told him, I think more for Damiano's sake.

I could feel all their agitation, anger and will of revenge. But, weirdly, I wasn't angry. Just broken, lost, and in a state of mind that was too hard to be described.

"I won't find peace until..." Damiano starts.

"I know," Ethan said. "I'm with you."

I couldn't listen to them anymore. My brain simply froze, refusing to take any of my commands. The only thing that was played in my mind was the most brutal scene of my life. Over and over again.

I'm don't think if it's something worse than being raped once. But, when this terrible night happened to be my third time, I'm not sure how I'm going cope. The only thing that kept my little brain afloat was how to be able to still be myself and keep the boys together.