Le Parole Lontane (Distant Words)

Chapter 19 - Cold Summer

Note: This chapter is unedited.

"It was really amazing the number of hard hits from which a mind could recover."
— Stephen King; Full Dark, No Stars

London, United Kingdom, 11th of June 2022

Shock is the first thing that hits me when I see our old friend, Aurora, waiting to pick me up from the airport. I never realized how much someone can change in such a short while, but, definitely, her small bump peaking through a way too tight old shirt is the most unexpected detail.

I knew about her pregnancy since January, yet I still wasn't expecting to see any obvious signs. However, almost six months in isn't a moment when she can hide it anymore.

When I find out that she has twins, I smile and congratulate her, but a small war is igniting deep down in the remains of my soul. I wasn't worthy of this.

"I didn't even want two, but I said 'that's life' and went on," she laughs.

The Supreme Judge decided that life has no place in my womb, and, still Him is the one to give someone more than the one soul she wished for. I wonder on what principles are our lives directed and who's the bad writer of our scripts?

I'm not jealous. I try to tell myself as we get a car and drive to our friends' place where I'm welcomed by a new dose of chaos. It's one in the morning and everyone is getting wasted, while the music is playing loudly in the background of their collective noise.

"I'm sorry, I'm too tired for this." I tell my British friend, Angus, who's hosting us. "Maybe tomorrow."

I was expecting him to make one of his usual jokes, but he just nods and offers me a sympathetic smile. "It's alright, Vic, whenever you feel ready."

It's crystal clear to me that they all received instructions from Damiano on how to act with me. Normally, I would've been bothered by the special treatment, but, judging by how I feel, I'm grateful that everyone is offering me some time to process things out.

"Have you heard about what happened in Austria?" I ask Aurora when we get to our room, but just for the sake of conversation. Surely, by now, everybody knows.

"I know and I have no idea what to say, Vic. It's beyond my power of understanding," she sighs, taking a seat on the soft matters next to me. "Damiano told me everything."

Of course he did. Him and Aurora are best friends and it's normal. I'm glad that he has someone to talk with because I know that I can't be his confidante all the time. Plus, Aurora acts well in situations like telling him how to avoid hurting me and stuff like this.

"It's okay, don't worry. I hope they'll solve it soon." I try to reassure her.

I don't want to press the topic of Austria too much on her. It's clear that she's scared and it's not good for her pregnancy, so I try to be gentle and avoid it. After all, if we're in danger her, Leo, and everyone working for us can easily get hurt as well.

"How's it going?" I ask pointing to her belly.

"Like shit," she laughs. "I never thought it's gonna be this hard and I also told Lorenzo that the factory is closed after these."

I let out a strangled giggle and try to tell myself again that I'm not jealous. Out of all the things he shared with her, Damiano seems like he forgot to tell her that I was pregnant too. Maybe he hid this for the sake of my privacy. But, somehow, even if I'm happy for Aurora, her joy is cutting deeply in my own wounds.