Humbling Spot Conlon (A Spot Conlon Love Story)

Ch. 24: I Can't Just Take a Break

It felt as though I had zero free time. I was constantly watching Elsie. I didn't trust her with the boys because, well, that doesn't really need explaining. And I couldn't just leave her alone. She wasn't old enough to be left by herself. 

I didn't want to admit it, but I missed Spot a lot. I didn't want to bring Elsie with me to Brooklyn for fear of her insulting the wrong person and me having to deal with it. I also didn't want to have to deal with her in general. I was so tired all the time. I wondered if this was how Jack felt when I had just joined. Probably not. 

"You need a break," Race told me one day as I was trying to get Elsie to go to bed, "The bags under yer eyes are bigger than Brooklyn." I waved him away, continuing my attempt at getting her to listen. 

"Speakin' o' Brooklyn," I heard Jack from behind me. He came up and clapped me on the back, "Go ta Brooklyn. Ya haven't been there in a little while. Surely Spot wants ta see you." 

I shook my head. "Then he'd better come here because I have ta take care o' Elsie. I don't wanna leave 'er alone." I picked Elsie up, seeing as she wouldn't listen to reason. She squirmed and struggled. 

"Let go of me!" 

"Elsie, just go ta bed," I said pleadingly, "Kloppman already said lights out. I'm tired and I wanna go ta bed too. But I need ta get you at least in your bunk." She squirmed herself out of my arms, running across the room. 

"Why'd ya keep this little spawn o' Satan, anyways?" Race asked. 

I rolled my eyes. "You say that like she's a pet or somethin'." 

"Do ya see 'er?" 

Jack grabbed me by the shoulders. "You are tired. Go ta bed." I shook my head. I couldn't go to bed yet. I didn't really have time to say anything before Jack tossed me over his shoulder. 

I was thrown into my bunk and Mush literally had to hold me down. In my struggle I actually ended up falling asleep. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I was laying in my bed. I guess I was more sleep deprived than I thought. 

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It was the best night sleep I'd had in a while. And I don't know how they did it, I honestly wish I was awake to see, but Jack and Race got Elsie to sleep. 

To my dismay, I was woken up at seemingly the last second. Jack came up and shook me awake after everyone had gotten ready. I was furious. 

"We just thought you'd wanna sleep." 

"Ya thought wrong," I said, leaping out of bed. "Where's Elsie?" 

"Satan's already gone," He told me, holding me back. Satan had somehow become her nickname. I wasn't sure when it changed from Devil to Satan, but it had. "She's fine, Nicky. I think ya forget she was a street rat. She's probably even more capable than you." 

I didn't exactly find that reassuring. It wasn't that she wasn't capable, it was that she was always picking fights. "Capable o' gettin' 'erself into trouble." 

"Stop it, Nicky. I'm serious. Take a break. Ya don't need ta watch 'er every second o' everyday. Go get ready." 

I glared at him. He was right. I knew that he was right, but a little voice kept telling me that Elsie was my responsibility. She shouldn't have been. I shouldn't have tried to make it that way, but it just felt wrong leaving her by herself. 

"Fine," I agreed, "I'll take a break today. Just today." 

I tried to not solely pay attention to Elsie at the distribution center. It was hard not to, but she seemed completely fine. Les was trying to have a conversation with her, as usual, and she was ignoring him. It was just a normal day.