I am having memory loss. I keep forgetting things that happen one or two days ago....its annoying.. The feeling of not remembering things.. If my emotion gets too much... I forget things that happen 5 minutes ago or a hour... Mostly when I get mad.. Like Alot..
I feel like my emotion are on air, I can't control them, they are begging me to end the pain... Death.. They want me to take my life.. Selfish little emotions.... I would love to end our pain but I can't... God.. That's the reason
I hear this voice in my head that guide me... In a right path.. It also helped me to keep going.. It kept me sane... It gave me advice and things it always says come to pass.. Sometimes it makes me understand people.. I thanked it one time, it told me I am welcome... I missed it... I think it is still in my head. Just silent... And I am not crazy... I am okay... I just feel comfort hearing this voice
I realized I held a lot of hate for someone... My mom... Don't blame me she makes me feel that way.. I love hate her... Actually I don't love her
I just have that okay feeling that she is my mom... I don't love her.... I feel lighter today.. Funny I felt heavy a lot in the head today.. I felt like the world was gonna crumb in me, I felt like the world was going to smach me, my head was throbbing with pain a lot, my body felt like it was too weak.. I felt I was going to die a thousand death and still be alive...i felt like bursting to tears , like crying till I fell to sleep but I acted that everything was not okay.. I smiled.. My body was nagging.. But i still smiled... I pretended that everything was OK.. I told someone and I wanted to burst into tears while talking.. I later just shut it.. I refuse to cry..
I really wanna cry... I pretended to be strong.. I am not.. I am just human.. I don't wanna die.. I want to achieve a lot.. Marry the one I love, be famous and rich.. Give birth to children.. Name them Bryan, Xavier, erebus and other names.... Be happy... I don't wanna die so y are they forcing me?
It's like I have to...
22nd November 2021
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MY DARK LUCID DREAMS (Depression and Anxiety)
RandomDARK POEMS In every human there is a depressing self, I'm sure whoever u are, u are tired of people saying "be patient it's gonna be okay". You just wanna die/leave/hurt yourself You keep thinking when would it be okay? But u are tired... Sw...
