Deep Wells

ETERNAL

– IN HER MIND –

For the first time since Emily came back to the Philippines, she finally decided to go out and try one of the famous wine bars in the country. Emily sat by the bar counter and drank her glass of shiraz. Compared to other wine bars around the world, it was surprisingly nice and cosy. The bar was vintage-like and was of course packed with the upper class people. Soft music played in the background but it was covered by the chit and chatters of the crowd that surrounded her.

It didn't take her long to realise that she was probably the only person who did not have a companion with her. She didn't know why but it made her want to drink more and be consumed by this atmosphere. Surrounded with strangers, with others even glancing at her and some who hardly even cared. There was a certain tightness in her chest that she could not explain. She had never experienced such feelings in a long time. Normally being alone never bothered her. But tonight was different. She was... lonely.

Perhaps it was the phone call that made her feel this way. Perhaps it was the alcohol. Emily had no clue. Finally, she stopped ordering glasses of wine and ordered a bottle instead. The bar tender even asked her if she wanted another glass for the other person expecting that she would be accompanied by someone but she shook her head. The bar tender was of course, a bit surprised and tried to make a joke about it. But Emily remained expressionless. The fact that he was expecting her to be with someone infuriated her even more. She could hardly care about his jokes. All she wanted was another bottle of wine that she will consume for the rest of the night. The bar tender fortunately took it as a cue to simply leave her alone. He seemed a bit ashamed of himself and embarrassed but she could hardly care. No tip for him for sure.

Unsurprisingly, Merkel, who was standing at the very back of the bar, patiently waiting for her to be finished, came forward with her business mobile phone. "Senyora." She looked up and shook her head. Merkel gulped, knowing that when time like this arrives, he had nothing to say. Emily rarely does not pick up phone calls. In fact, it would be the first since she arrived in the country.

"I will handle it." Merkel understood. "Just let me know when you're ready to go-" Emily was already shaking her head.

"Is James available at the moment?"

"Yes."

"Ask him to pick you up. Give me the keys and I'll drive home." Merkel was speechless for a moment. But he knew better not to argue with Emily. "Don't argue with me." She knew exactly what he was thinking.

"As you wish. But please call us if-"

"I know. Thank you, Merkel." Merkel handed her the keys of her car and called James.

As she watched Merkel leave, Emily took another glass. At one point she was relieved that Merkel left. At the same time, she was now completely alone. Tipsy and about to drive.

But could she care?

No, not really.

For years she had been prepared to die. Ready to see her son and her father. Especially in times like this....

***

           "Marriage!?" As expected Miguel was outraged when Emily opened up to him. But what surprised her the most was her friend's sudden restlessness. He paced back and forth in the garden and circled her. Emily looked at him confusedly. For a moment she thought that they had already settled everything between them. Miguel told him he was over her. Clearly, he was lying.

           Emily eventually regretted that she told him. She opened and closed her mouth not knowing what to say. "Emily nababaliw ka na ba? May pera ako, pinapahiram kita Emily."