Alvarez

Seven

Either grant me the bliss of ignorance, or give me the strength to bear the knowledge. - Elif Shafak

Mia
I woke up in a cold sweat. It was the same recurring dream I'd had for years now, but with a slight twist. This time, I found my mother lying on the ground, but her body was a mutilated carcass with just her face. She looked terrifying, and to the left, Oscar lay beside her. He appeared exactly as he did when I looked at him at our wedding. It could have very well been my subconscious dealing with today, but it was enough to send me spiraling. Night terrors and nightmares were customary for me, and I had them under control for a while. I'd scream for hours and not even know it, but I'd wake up in Tony's arms. He used to lay with me and hold me against his chest until I'd calmed. But I thought it stopped. I guess I was wrong.

I clenched my jaw as I sat upright, feeling the headache pierce my skull. The sleeping pill I took always has this effect on me, it's like a hangover. Taking a deep breath, I realise I have to keep my mind busy today. If I don't, I may just break. It's long overdue.

After I'd gotten that document for Christian, I tried to figure out what he would've needed it for. I also lay awake and thought of what a catastrophe this day was. It's funny how so many things can go so wrong in so little time. By midnight, I'd watched my fiancé die, I'd met il demone, and I stole from my father.

The sky looked gloomy for the morning, typical New York weather. I glanced at the alarm clock on my dresser that used to play music. It flashed 7am. Today was Oscar's funeral. My attendance wasn't optional, even though I never wanted to go. It was alarming how little I felt towards the man who died at our wedding. The time I'd spent with him was very little, but he made a deal with my father and the next thing I knew, I was in my wedding gown. Yet in that time when we had to get to know each other - sort of a trial period - we knew from the get go that we were incompatible. We wanted different things out of life.

He craved power because he didn't have it. I craved the world because I couldn't have it. Yet strangely enough, our union would have changed all of that. We may have wanted different things out of life, but we had one thing in common, and that was using each other to get what he wanted. It was a sickening thought. I guess I'm safe from it now.

I got out of my bed and listened by the door for any sounds, nothing. Everyone was quiet. The bustle of the morning in this house annoyed me. Tony was always in a rush to get into the city, and my dad was in a rush to go underground. Metaphorically and literally, there were meetings held beneath road level. I'd been once, with Oscar. I was groped when I went to the bathroom that night. Oscar watched it happen, and he didn't say a word in my defense.

It was a new day but everything felt the same. I had to play my part today. I was clad in black clothing, a veil and everything. I put my hair up, and tried to look as disheveled as possible.

By the time I was done, it was already 10am. I hadn't eaten since the previous morning, but I had no appetite at all. Even the thought of food made me feel nauseous. My father sat at the table, coffee in hand and a dull expression on his face.

"good morning Mia." he said, his usual bitter tone. Morning or evening, happy or angry, he sounded the same.

"morning, dad. Ready to go?" I asked, and draped my nude colored cardigan over my shoulders. I was dressed in a black silk gown, buttoned up at the wrists and form fitting. It was quite plain, very unusual for me.

"yes. Waiting for your brother." he said, and turned his attention to my attire. "you look the part. Act appropriately today, understand?" he said, and I nodded. Usually when he asked if I understand and I nodded, he'd get upset. Ask me for 'verbal understanding'. I wondered why he was going easy on me today. Maybe he thought I was really upset. He probably pities me. He knows I hate it here, I always have.