Forty-two (epilogue)

411 10 0
                                    

You are worth finding, worth knowing. Worth loving. You and all your one million layers. - Danielle Doby.

Mia
1 year later

Christian and I have fallen into a life that feels like a dream. Ever since our fairytale wedding, it seems like our entire life came together. As he promised, I've seen the whole world by his side. We spent weeks in Costa Rica, Milan, Venice, Greece and so many other places. I could not have asked for anything better.

Back home, we lived the life of a normal married couple. We worked 9 to 5 jobs, paid our taxes and went on dates. It was different, however, because as promised he did resort to old tactics to get his work done. At times I think I've tamed him, then I watch him wash blood off his hands at the sink. Every horrible act he's committed out of his annoying, alpha male and egotistical nature is borderline psychotic, but I know I am the one he's protecting. It's difficult sometimes, to be married to a man with grey moral values and having to warrant his actions all the time, but in his own way, he's enforcing who he is and the promises he made to me. He will always protect me, no measure is drastic enough. I've grown accustomed to it, having him murder people at his club and come home like nothing happened. I'd cover up all of his murders, and every crime he commits. I'm his partner in everything, and I'd take the fall for him without a doubt. I take some comfort in knowing he would never do things like this for no reason. I trust him completely, and I know I'll be the one to pull him out of the darkness if he ever needs me to. I love him all the same.

I am proud of him. I know he does everything in good faith. He is running an international project to save kids from all over the world. It's a task he's dedicated his life to now, and watching him give it his all has got to be the most powerful thing I've ever seen. He works and connects with people he's recruited for this, and they raid poorer areas in rough neighborhoods, and offer children a better life. It's a tough thing that he does, but he does it to the best of his abilities and I admire him so much. I've helped him however I could, but sometimes he just needed to talk, and have someone to listen. Sometimes that's more than enough for anyone.

We've spoken a lot about kids. He says he's always wanted a big family, a chance to do everything differently. I know he will be a great dad when the time comes, but our lives are so strenuous right now. We agreed we don't want to be the couple that relies on a nanny the entire time, so when life calms down we can plan for our family. There's nothing I want more than to raise kids with him, even the thought of it makes me giddy. I know when we get there, making babies will be our favorite activity.

Everything has been so much hotter between us. Our sex life has always been great, but it feels like we're somehow more in sync and connected. I even convinced him to get candles for our bedside. He's shown me things about my body that I never thought possible. We've explored every inch of each other. We're long past our honeymoon phase, but when we're in bed it's always been so explosive. He knows my body better than I do, and he never fails to amaze me.

Sometimes, when my mind wanders, I regret not confronting Michael. I regret not telling him that I wasn't afraid of him anymore, or that he was sick and fucked in the head and deserved to die in a horrible way. I regret that I was weak when I lived there, and I could never stand up for myself. But when I really think about it I realize I wouldn't bear it. I wouldn't want to look at him, because even in his last moments I couldn't meet his eye. He was not the man I remember, and while I wish he knew I was no longer scared of him, I'm grateful I never had to speak to him again. He never broke me, or turned me into something fickle and frail. He turned me into a soldier, and he led me to the love of my life. Everything is better because of that. And the world is so much safer now that he's lying in an unmarked grave.

Alvarez Where stories live. Discover now