Alvarez

Eighteen

Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they are even born. - F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Mia
"you're just a big softie." I tell him, with a small smile on my face. He takes the plate I hand to him and puts it in the dishwasher. "I am not a softie. What does that even mean anyway?" he says, his lips in a tight scowl.

He leans against the kitchen counter, in his jeans and white shirt. I've seen casual Christian, and I like that. But formal, ready for work Christian will always be my favorite.

"it just means under all your layers of toughness, you're soft on the inside. Like a teddy bear." I said, and dried off my hands. This felt so domestic, I almost fell into another world. I wonder if I would have found him under different circumstances. Maybe I would be able to see him in a different light.

He looked thoughtful for a second. "I don't think that's a very accurate description of me." he said, and shut the dishwasher. I smiled. "but it appears that way around you, doesn't it?" he asked, and moved around me to put the glasses away in the cupboard well above my head. These drawers were too high, I need a step-stool.

"it does. I don't get it." I said, and turned to face him. "howcome you're so calm around me? No yelling, no cursing, no aggression at all." I continued, consumed by my thoughts. "it seems very foreign based on what I've heard about you. Before your alleged death, that is."

The corners of his lips tipped up and I thought I was about to see a real smile. But I'll settle for the mini ones now. "I'm not sure. I haven't had a woman around me for this long, let alone one I was protecting." he said, and shuffled around me for a cloth. Is that what he's doing? Protecting me? It definitely doesn't feel that way anymore. We may have lost sight of out goal in bringing down Michael, but it doesn't seem like keeping me safe is the only thing on his agenda.

"however, if you'd like me to speak and treat you like I would anyone else, say the word. I can try it out." he said, and leans against the counter again, watching me scrub the life out of this frying pan. "no. I like this version of you." I said, and stared him in the eyes. I may regret what I'm about to say, but I'm saying it anyway. "I like who you are when you're with me. You seem...calm."

His gaze softened for a second, like what I said caught him off guard. He looked like he was going to smile. But he shook it off. "I think you're good for my health. My doctor would like to see my blood pressure decreasing." he said, and I gave a soft chuckle. "I'll keep you on your toes." I said, and his eyes continued to roam over my face. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was restraining himself.

"we've got some stuff to sort out. I need to close down the marketing division of Arora Tradings." he said, deviating from our previous topic. He settled again at the kitchen island and I was just about done with the pan. "how do you plan to do that?" I asked.

"well, that's the fun part. The head office for his marketing team is in Atlanta. I would've gone there myself, but I figured we could make it into a trip." he said, rubbing his jaw. I smiled, I couldn't hold it back. "it's a fourteen hour drive, I think it's best if we fly privately. For safety reasons." he says, and he studied my face, taking in my visible excitement.

"I'd love that." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear. "I mean, do you want me to come with? Who will be here while we're gone? I can't just leave the house." I said, spiraling into a frenzy. "relax, love. It won't be very long. I'll get us a nice hotel and even though there's not much to see, I'll show you around." he said, not answering my question.

"I just need to meet with the head of the division. It'll take an hour or two with him." he said, and I'm still yet to contain my excitement. "are you sure you'll need me there?" I said, scrunching up my nose. "I won't leave you here, not without me. And yes, I don't mean this as a compliment, but you're not the worst company in the world. You're bearable." he said, a shadow of a smile on his face.

I held back my laughter. "I guess I could say the same. When would we leave?" I asked, and he let out a small breath. "most likely the end of the week. I need to sort out security around here and your father has some meeting planned with someone else from Milan. I can't intercept from too far but I need to know what goes on." he said, and I nodded. It's been quiet with Michael, but bringing down his business had taken a back seat when it came to the kids being taken.

"I hope this all goes well." I said, and got ready to leave the kitchen. Christian and I get so lost in conversation sometimes, I don't even feel the time passing by. It's already 12am. "it will." he said, and flashed me a smile as we turned off the lights and walked upstairs. He locked the front door and I matched his long strides up the stairs.

"Thank you, Christian. For everything. Letting me live here, all these security measures. I really have no idea how to thank you." I tell him, and he stands in his doorway. He gives me a smile and in the dim lighting of this hallway it almost looks like he's just gazing at me.

"you don't need to thank me for anything. I'd do anything for you, Mia. Remember that. Your safety is my priority now." I smile at him, and enjoy every moment of this feeling. "please stop threatening everyone, the guards are horrified." I try to reason with him but I don't think it's working. His eyes are dark, and he's studying my face. "You must know by now that I will do anything to protect you. You know well enough that I'm not above breaking the law to do that" his voice is steady, dangerous and calm. I think I'm blushing.

The thought of him with lady company made me react in ways I didn't like. I didn't like feeling jealous. But the look on his face showed me that idea sounded like the most disgusting thing in the world. Though I wasn't exactly chaste, I wasn't a porn star either. I was always taught it was improper for a woman to indulge in sexual activities, but I learned later on that it was bullshit. It's normal for a woman to like sex, it's normal to like pleasure. No woman should be told otherwise.

I lost my virginity when I was 20, to a football player I went to high school with. They had a party I snuck out to go to with Maria. It was painful and he didn't do it right, and the feeling of intimacy wasn't actually there. I think I was too much in my head, but when I was alone it seemed to be just fine. I flushed realizing my thoughts with Christian sleeping next door to me. I don't imagine any woman in his bed have problems.

I walked into my bedroom, which was absolutely beautiful. I had a massive bed with a wooden headboard, and a desk matching that. An armoire which I think was hand crafted, rugs and tiny carpets along the marble tiling. The bathroom was my favorite part of the room. With a massive rain shower, and a claw foot tub for me to soak and read.

I turned to Christian as he opened his door. "Goodnight." I said, softly. He gave me a soft glance, the corners of his lips turning to a small smile. "goodnight, Mia."

I shut the door behind me and felt my surroundings. I still don't understand what I'm doing here. I don't know why we're going to pretend to be married. I don't understand what I need to do, and why I need to live with him like this. As much as it doesn't make sense, it still felt right. I haven't had time to fully analyze this decision. We should have a comprehensive set of rules for this arrangement. Christian gave me a sense of comfort I'd never felt before. There's just something about his darkness. There's something about it that's peaceful and comforting to me and it shouldn't be. I shouldn't be feeling so safe with a man like him, but something in my mind is telling me he'd do the absolute worst to anyone if they put me in danger, and I didn't know how to react to that. He's just always been so honest with me, from the very beginning. He doesn't owe me a thing, he's simply doing this on his own will. It hardly makes any sense and it's starting to bother me. I fear that something in me is possibly broken. I shouldn't be feeling a sense of comfort with a man like this. 

But when it's all over and our business together comes to an end, how much of it was actually pretending?