Promise Flower

Broken Promises [Jimin's POV]

"What was that about?" Hoseok asks looking at me confused.

"Nothing," I lie.

"Jiminie," he says coming over to sit next to me. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing. That's the problem. I said nothing."

"What happened?"

I don't want to tell him, but he's a persistent person and there's no fighting him. Plus, he's the only one I can talk to about Mina. He's the only one I trust with my feelings for her.

"I told her I was scared. She told me she doesn't have feelings for Taehyung, but I wouldn't tell her what else I'm afraid of. She got mad when I told her my problems weren't her burden."

"Oh Jimin, why?" Hoseok sighs.

"And before that we kissed again..."

"Jimin!" I'm about to get an earful from him and I know it. "You're going to lose her before you even get her! You can't kiss her and then hide your feelings! No wonder she's mad at you!"

"I know, I messed up. I just don't know how to open up to her. I'm afraid she won't like me or she'll think I come with too much emotional bullshit."

"She probably already thinks you come with too much emotional bullshit because you won't even talk to her about it! You were afraid to open up but now she's mad at you for not opening up. Is it worth it?"

Hoseok's tone is almost as harsh as Mina's was. First my mom fussing at me when all I want to do is help, and now both of them. I hope I don't have to speak to anyone else today because I may find a way to piss them off too.

"I messed up. I'm just good at making people mad." I'm not looking for pity, it's just how I feel. I've been getting fussed at all day, it's like everyone hates me.

"Jimin-ah! Stop that! All you have to do is apologize to her and open up to her so she understands where you're coming from."

"Yeah I know."

But what he doesn't know, what no one knows, is how hard this really is for me. How can I open up about my feelings when I've had my heart shattered before? I never want to feel that again but opening up would make me vulnerable. Everyone I care about always leaves one way or another.

———————

"Don't worry, my Jiminie, I'll be there. I promise."

"And I promise I'll win gold for you!"

"You already have lots of gold, and I'm very proud of you, my love."

"I know but this one is especially for you! I can't wait for you to see it!"

She wasn't able to keep her promise. And neither was I.

"Mom, why didn't she show up?"

"I don't know. Maybe something came up? You still did great."

"But she promised."

I promised too and I failed. I got silver, but I promised to win gold for her. She's my everything and I let her down. She must be so disappointed.

"Why is her car here? Did you see her inside, mom?"

"No, maybe she's looking for-"

"Wait! She's in the car!"

I've never loved anyone the way I love her. I've never been as close to anyone as I am to her. She's my entire universe. She keeps me going when I want to give up. She loves me unconditionally through the good times and bad.