Promise Flower

Run

A doctor and a nurse come in once more and explain that they'll need to move Lilly to the NICU. She's got a low grade fever now and needs monitoring around the clock. That doesn't make Ryan happy at all.

Once they take Lilly and leave the room Ryan begins venting his frustrations. According to him the hospital has been terrible since they arrived. He didn't like the way Keri's doctor "looked at her" and requested that they change her doctor to a female. Given how close she was to giving birth at the time they arrived they weren't able to change her doctor, so he's upset about that.

As Ryan is detailing the numerous things that make him want to "fuck this place up" I look at Keri and she looks exhausted. Rightfully so, I'm sure giving birth and knowing that her baby is having some complications has drained her completely. She isn't saying much, typical, but she also looks like she's tuning Ryan out. His words don't even appear to be registering in her mind. Mentally she's not here and I start to feel really bad for her. She has a baby now, and she has to deal with Ryan on top of it all. That can't be a pleasant life to live.

Ryan rants for about another hour before the nurse returns to give an update on Lilly. She's doing ok but they're tube feeding her for the time being until they can get her to latch on and eat on her own.

Something about that triggers Ryan. He begins raising his voice at the nurse telling her he wants to see his daughter. The nurse explains the visitation rules for the NICU, they're free to visit any time but have to sanitize and wear protective gear, which is understandable. Since she's running a fever they have her in an incubator so they're not able to hold her for the time being. Add that to the list of things Ryan starts yelling about.

He's being completely unreasonable, and despite my dad trying to get him to calm down Ryan is getting more and more belligerent with the nurse. The poor lady looks terrified as Ryan demands to be able to hold his daughter. He accuses them of trying to pump "bad shit" into Lilly through the feeding tube. It's all so ridiculous and the nurse is struggling to put him at ease.

My dad gets Ryan's attention just long enough for the nurse to make a hasty retreat out of the room. My mom is also trying to reason with Ryan, trying to explain to him that's how things are. Keri still looks exhausted, but also annoyed. I think this is the first hint of annoyance I've seen out of her since I've met her.

Nothing about this is going well. Things have quickly turned bad and I'm feeling the anxiety rising in my body rapidly. This is why I wanted to leave much sooner. I can't be here in the middle of this. I can't be here and watch Ryan verbally assault every medical personnel that comes through that door.

It's getting late and I think I've stayed entirely too long. I get myself prepared to leave as Ryan is still yelling about them trying to do something to his baby. He's paranoid out of his mind which usually means he's been drinking again. I'm not sure how, maybe when he went to the bathroom a bit earlier he took a few drinks from some hidden bottle. Sadly this wouldn't be the first time. He never changes.

I look to my mom as my dad is trying to calm Ryan down and make a gesture letting her know I'm going to leave. She gives her nod of approval and I stand up grabbing my purse and starting to walk towards the door.

"Where the fuck are you going?!" Ryan yells at me.

"It's getting late and I have a long drive so I'm going to go ahead and go back," I say trying to remain as neutral sounding as possible.

"You're going to try to help them keep me from my baby!"

"What are you even talking about?" I can smell the alcohol on his breath blowing my direction as he yells. I wouldn't be surprised if alcohol wasn't the only thing he's had.