The Journey to Duskwood

Chapter 10

Time always moves slowly when waiting for something. Lately, it feels as though time has just about stopped moving altogether. I feel stuck. I have made no progress in my meager search for Jake. If he's been taken into custody, I'd have no idea.

Wouldn't he at least be allowed to call if that were the case?

The thought gives me a small flicker of hope, though it isn't very strong. Since I left jake a voicemail, I've gotten into the habit of calling a few more times. The messages I leave aren't very long, but it feels nice to be able to communicate to him with my actual voice and not by text.

I doubt he's been able to listen to them, but that hasn't stopped me from calling. I miss interacting with Jake. Now that I know what he looks like, I feel more connected to him than ever.

I decided yesterday to go back home for a little bit. Much to Jessy's dismay, I couldn't tell her when exactly I'd be back, though I know it won't be too long. I needed to get some things from my apartment and run a few errands. I am also furious with Dan and being that close to him was only making me angrier. I cannot get over the fact that he did what he did. I don't know why I'm so shocked though – Dan already admitted to testifying against Phil when he was in the hospital. Why is it any more surprising that he notified the authorities of Jake's whereabouts?

Why can't he just get along with Jake, or tolerate his existence at the very least?

I know that Dan didn't know the depth of the consequences his choice would have. I believe that if he would've known I would've been taken into questioning and been seriously interrogated, he wouldn't have done it. He'd have put aside his hatred for Jake to keep my sanity intact.

Honestly, part of me doesn't want to go back to Duskwood unless Jake is standing right there with me. But I know it's more than likely that we won't be able to do that for quite a while, especially considering he hasn't even been online for a week.

A sudden chill runs down my spine as I look out my window. I'm in my studio apartment, which sits in the midst of a bustling city, but I've never felt so alone. I feel helpless. I don't necessarily enjoy being alone, even though that's how I've been for the past three years.

I moved from the town I grew up in, Bridgton, when I was 20 years old to attend school. I wasn't particularly close to my family at that time, and I didn't have very many true friends. Growing up, I was always very social. I enjoy being around people now as well. But once I hit adulthood, relationships I had with friends and family started changing. Before I knew it, I had drifted away from almost everyone. I still keep in touch with my family every now and then, though.

After settling into a new city and lifestyle, I became somewhat depressed and found it hard to maintain relationships. I stuck to myself more and was more closed off than normal. I think part of the reason why was because I wanted to focus on my schooling and starting my career; but I think the other part was because I was too scared to put in the work in fear of losing more relationships. Now three years later, becoming friends with this circle from Duskwood has brought some light back into my life, even though the circumstances have been grim.

In the past several weeks my life turned inside out and upside down. But I wouldn't change it. Well, maybe some of it. But I can't imagine life without my Duskwood friends.

I can't shake the feeling of loneliness though, and I know why. A piece of me is missing. And even though I don't know yet how it feels to physically be in Jake's presence, I know that's why I have this emptiness inside.

Without thinking, I pick my phone up and call Jake for the second time in ten minutes. Maybe I'm obsessing too much over his whereabouts. He's always contacted me as soon as he could. I just can't help it!