Crossing Infamy

Chapter 3 - Kalix

"Hey Vivian, audio message Roxanna Davis. Message: ..." Staring into space with a sudden feeling of uncertainty, I try to think of what to say to my best friend. "I... I'm sorry we never got to talk. I promise I'll answer your questions when I can... And thank you for not turning me in. Remember that creepy mad scientist, Dr. Blayne? Turns out, I'm his target for experimentation. Yeah, Cayden meant the whole 'hope he doesn't experiment on you' thing as a joke, but I guess there was some truth to it." Now that I've started speaking, the words begin to flow. "Anyway, sorry I didn't see you at school. I was, y'know, running from the crazy mad scientist. I promise I'll talk to you soon, and... I'm sorry. Maybe I should've told you sooner. Or maybe I shouldn't have told you at all, I— I don't know. I don't want to burden you with what I said and what you now know... But then again, you'd know now anyway..." Once again, words start to fail me, and I don't know what to say. "Anyway, umm, talk to you soon, hopefully. Bye, Roxy. End message."

"Message recorded. Please confirm this is correct:" Vivian says, and plays back my audio message. "Would you like to send it to: Roxanna Davis?" The virtual assistant asks.

After a moment's hesitation, I shake my head, then realize Vivian can't see me and say,

"Um— no thanks. Don't send it." I've dragged her into my messed up life enough, I should just let her be. The less she knows about what's going on with me, the better.

Besides, even though I've arranged for my AMs to be sent through 1NT-C0M, the dark-web site I used to use for "work" communications, the UNBI might still be alerted to Roxanna receiving the message even if they can't trace where it was sent from. They'd ask her about it, and she'd have to decide whether to lie for me, putting herself at risk, or just let them hear the message, and would probably feel like she's betraying me, even though there's nothing on the recording that would lead them to me anyway, but they would know about Dr. Blayne, and is that even a bad thing?, and... OK, shutting up my chaotic thoughts now. Point is, bad idea.

"Would you like to scrap this recording?"

"Umm... No. Save it as a voice note." Maybe I can't send it, but at least I can keep track of the things I wish I could say. Maybe that'll make me feel a little less... alone.

"Happy birthday to me, I'm only seventeen, and I'm alone in my apartment, with the whole world after meee..."

With an eye roll, I blew out the single candle on my sad little cupcake. Hey, at least I'm not in the hospital like I was on my 14th birthday.

That thought didn't make it much better, though. At least on June 16th, 2118 I had Idra, Roxanna and Cayden sitting by my bedside, talking and joking with me to take my mind off things. Even my mother stopped by the hospital room, bringing with her what would turn out to be the only reminder I'd have of my dad — the birthday gift he bought for me a few weeks before he died.

Instinctively, my hand moved to my neck, but the familiar pendant wasn't there. No, the little black circular charm with the Gemini constellation engraved was back in Japan, lying on my dresser, abandoned.

The constellation wasn't chosen because of my birth month. As an astronomer, my dad never cared much for the myths and beliefs surrounding astrology. No, he chose Gemini because of one star, Alhena, or Gamma Geminorum.

When I was little, he used to call me A-Star, saying my eyes shined like a blue, A-type sun. He always liked Alhena in particular, the larger star in a bright binary system near the bottom of the Gemini constellation, representing the right foot of the left twin. In place of that star on the necklace was a tiny blue light, powered by a solar cell that camouflaged as the night sky background. I used to wear it everyday, back in Tokyo. Well, every day except one.